Stop Overparenting on Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan
Sue Donnellan Shares How to Stop Overparenting: Trust Yourself, Not Your Fear!
How to Stop Overparenting: Trust Yourself, Not Your Fear!
Are you doing everything for your child…and calling it love? In this episode, Sue peels back the curtain on overparenting and calls out the subtle ways control shows up (micromanaging, rescuing, rushing, rewriting their essays) and how it can backfire.
With insightful stories (including the moment a Montessori teacher politely called her out for still packing lunches), and real talk about self-awareness, fear, and the difference between leadership and control, Sue walks you through how to step back without falling apart.
In this episode, Sue peels back the curtain on overparenting and calls out the subtle ways control shows up (micromanaging, rescuing, rushing, rewriting their essays) and how it can backfire.
Spoiler: Letting go isn’t giving up your authority, it’s how you gain influence and raise independent, resilient kids who actually want to talk to you because they trust you and don’t feel judged by your control.
What We Talk About:
The sneaky ways control hides in “good parenting”
- Why micromanaging robs your kids of confidence, and you of your sanity
- How fear fuels overparenting (and how to stop letting it drive the car)
- The “structure not a script” strategy to give kids autonomy within boundaries
- Why overcontrolling kids can turn them into rebels, people-pleasers… or liars
- A decision-making skill you’re accidentally preventing your kids from developing
- Instrument practice, friend choices, and the tightrope between encouragement and control
- The parenting question that will change your day: “Am I helping or hovering?”
- Your challenge for the week: Pick one place to loosen your grip and watch what happens
One-Liner to Remember:
"When we prevent our kids’ discomfort, we also prevent their growth. You want to raise a problem-solver, not a puppet."
Parenting Power Tools From This Episode:
- Boundaries vs. control checklist
- Facilitator parenting model (structure, not a script)
- Micro-moment practice: let them fail safely
- Mantra: “Am I helping… or hovering?”
- Connection-first strategy to build trust, not obedience
Listener Challenge:
Pick one area where you’re over-involved. Is it homework? Doing laundry? Friend drama? Step back…on purpose. Let your child try. Let them fail safely.
Then watch them rise. Rate + Review:
Loving these no-filter conversations? Drop us a review and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear, “Hey, you don’t need to do it all.”
🔗 Links & Resources:
· Free Facebook Group: Yell-Free Parenting for Exhausted Moms
· Sue’s Book: Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck
· Want 1-on-1 coaching? Book here
· Get Sue’s Weekly Newsletter: Subscribe now
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Sue Donnellan
As a mother who has balanced raising four kids (including triplets) with a full-time business and a husband who deployed to combat five times, I fully understand the demands on parents to successfully manage a busy family life. The steep learning curve of going from one to four children almost instantly kickstarted my methods for nurturing four unique individuals. My no-nonsense, judgement-free parenting style created an environment of freedom, flexibility and self-initiated learning for our kids. After twenty years in the trenches, parenting four happy, prosperous people, there is much to share that will make the entire process stress-free, effective and fun.
Randee Moore
Randee Moore is a mom of two, a copywriter and marketing strategist who’s obsessed with learning and personal growth. With a background in psychology, she’s passionate about exploring research based ways to parent with purpose and intention. She runs on caffeine, recharges in nature, and never leaves home without a good book.
