Dec. 3, 2025

Rhonda Britten on The Coaching Corner with Dori DeCarlo

Rhonda Britten on The Coaching Corner with Dori DeCarlo
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Rhonda Britten on The Coaching Corner with Dori DeCarlo
Rhonda Britten on The Coaching Corner with Dori DeCarlo
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Season 13

Rhonda Britten – Emmy Award-winner, Repeat Oprah guest, and Master Coach – has changed lives in over 600 episodes of reality television, authored four bestsellers including her seminal work "Fearless Living" (translated into 16 languages), and founded the Fearless Living Institute, home of Fearless Living Life Coach Certification Program, considered the Ivy League of Life Coaching Training.

Rhonda was the first Life Coach on television in the world and appeared for three seasons as the head Life Coach on the hit daytime NBC show, "Starting Over." Named its "Most Valuable Player" by The New York Times and heralded as "America's Favorite Life Coach," she brings the neuroscience of fear down to earth giving you a path out of "not being good enough" using the "Wheels" technology she developed that saved her own life.

Rhonda's been read, heard, and watched by millions, coached tens of thousands of clients, trained hundreds of coaches, and now wants to share all she knows with you!

Join host Dori DeCarlo on The Coaching Corner and connect with Rhonda at FearlessLiving.org and follow on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, BlueSky, Pinterest, TikTok, Amazon, Wikipedia, IMDB and YouTube.

Please support UnsilencedVoices.org a global 501(c)3 nonprofit that empowers survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

We thank Smith Sisters and the Sunday Drivers for our theme song, "She is You".

Be sure to connect with us and come tell us your story!

WordofMomRadio.com - sharing the wisdom of women, in business and in life.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/word-of-mom-radio--5252572/support.

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She is sure, she is true, she is strong, she

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is straw, she is true, is true, she is praise, pray,

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is she is you.

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Hello, everyone, Welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio. Here

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on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host,

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Dori Di Carlo. And you know we are here week

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after week, show after show, breaking those myths that morepreneurs

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and business women, especially those of us building our businesses

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from home, that we're just dabbling in between bake sales

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and getting our nails done. We're not. We are smart,

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we are savvy, and we are sharing the wisdom of

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women in business and in life. And I am thrilled

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to be bringing today's guest onto our show. Ronda Britten,

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Emmy Award winner, repeat Oprah guest and Master Coach, has

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changed lives in over six hundred episodes of reality television,

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authored four bestsellers, including her seminal work Fearless Living, which

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is translated into sixteen languages, and founded the Fearless Living Institute,

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home of Fearless Living Life Coach certification program considered the

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Ivy League of Life coaching training. She was the first

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coach on television in the world and appeared for three

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seasons as the head life coach on the hit daytime

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NBC show Starting Over, Named its most valuable player by

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the New York Times and haralded as America's favorite life coach.

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Ronda brings the neuroscience of fear down to earth, giving

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you a path of not being good enough using the

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wheels technologies she developed that saved her own. Ronda's been read, heard,

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and watched by millions, coached tens of thousands of clients,

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trained hundreds of coaches, and now wants to share all

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she knows with you and is here on word of

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bomb Rindio. So, yay, Ronda, welcome to the show.

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That's right, I sound like I sound bomb when you

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say it, it sounds amazing. I'm like, wow, yeah I

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did all that. You're right, and I'm so excited to

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be here.

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You know what, It's really cool sometimes to actually hear

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what you've done, because sometimes we forget totally surely we've

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been on and just how badass.

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Are one hundred percent?

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I think the one thing, you know, when you're talking

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about mom entrepreneurs, it's just like, you know, you get

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so bogged in, You can get so bogged in, you know,

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thinking of yourself as as a mother, a partner, et cetera.

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That you do forget that you're badass. I think it's

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and it's so normal for women to not think about

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themselves in that way.

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Right.

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Oh, God forbid we're selfish. God forbid, we'll get big headed.

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God forbid. We think we're all that. And it's like, yeah,

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we are all that. Okay, we're like literally keeping the

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world together. Okay, without us, the world would collapse. Okay,

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we're the only ones that can do it.

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Well, you know, let's face it, without us, we wouldn't

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have a world. Say what you want, and that's exact thing.

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It really is so true, and women need to stand

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up for themselves. That's why Word of Mom began to

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give women a voice so we know we're not out

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there alone. Because you know what, you can go up

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on the top of that mountain and sing that song,

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but when you have other women behind you, what a voice.

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Yes all have when we work together. So, Ronda, I

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would love for you to take us on your journey,

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because what a journey you've been on.

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Well, I think you're referring to the worst day of

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my life, which is really the start of what where

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I got how I got here started back then. You know,

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I always say that the seeds of our destiny are

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planted in our worst days, right, It's where the fertilizer

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comes from. And so my worst day was when I

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was fourteen years old. I grew up in a little

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tiny town in Michigan, three hundred and sixty five inches

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of snow a year, and my parents were gonna divorced.

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My father was coming to take us out for Sunday brunch.

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It's Father's Day. So my mom's pluffing up for beehive hair,

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do you and putting on her blue eyeshadow and her

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rose colored lipstick. My dad walks in the back door,

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come on, come on, come on, because that's what dads do.

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My two sisters are fighting it out in our one bathroom.

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Me and my mom start walking out. It's starting to rain.

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As we walk outside, my dad, it's starting to sprinkle.

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My dad says he's got to get his coat from

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the car. And this coat was a tan Naga hide

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leisure suit coat. And I know you remember what tan

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Naga hide leisure suitoats look like, Dori, And they look.

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Good and they looked hot.

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So my Dad's in his trunk getting his coat, and

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I noticed out of the corner of my eye that

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he has not grabbed a coat. He has grabbed a gun.

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And he starts yelling at my mother, you made me

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do this, You made me do this, and he fires,

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and I starts screaming, Dad, what are you doing?

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Stop dead? What are you doing?

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And he cocks the gun again, points it at me,

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and I absolutely believe I'm next, and he blinks an

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eyeblink and he blinks an eyeblink, and my mother, with

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her literal last breast, screams out, no, don't. And my

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father takes that bullet intended for me and shoots my

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mother a second time, and that second bullet it goes

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through my mother's abdmen out her back lands in the

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car horn and for the next twenty minutes all I

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hear is eh. And then my father costs a gun

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one more time, puts the gun to his heat in fires.

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So in a matter of two minutes, I watched my

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father murder my mother and commit suicide in front of me.

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And I don't know how you would respond, but this

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is how I responded. It's my fault because I was

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physically the only one there that could have stopped it.

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And I didn't grab the gun, and I didn't kick

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my father's shins, and I didn't jump in front of

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my mother. And you know, everybody says, well, you're only fourteen,

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it doesn't matter in the sense of you. In the

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middle of your soul, You're like, I could have done something,

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and I did nothing. So that day I like to

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think of myself split into two dory, the outside me

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and the inside me. The outside me is fine, I'm

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a straight a student. I'm fine. I get a full

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ride to college, I keep up my grades.

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I'm fine. I'm fine.

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But inside, well, first of all, when you watch your

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mother down, you don't do anything.

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You don't get to be happy. So that's off the table.

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And so I had so much guilt and so much

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shame and so much blame that on the outside, like

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I said, I'm fine, but on the inside I was

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just dying. So minute I hit college, I found alcohol.

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Oh my gosh, I can drink and I can numb

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these feelings. I became an alcoholic, got three duys, tried

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to kill myself three times, and the third suicide attempt.

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They by the way, when you try to kill yourself.

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They do. Put you in a psychiatric word. So they

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put me in a psychiatric word, and they evaluate me.

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Deem me not crazy, let me go. And I remember

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getting back to my little studio apartment and saying to myself,

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Oh my god. So all those years I was, yes,

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I was drinking, Yes, I was getting DUI in and

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I was suiciding. But I was also going to therapy,

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I was going to workshops, I was reasoning, but I

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was doing every possible inner child work you got it,

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shaman work, you got it, crystals you got it.

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You know anything, anki you got it. I did everything.

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And I remember sitting in my apartment realizing, like I

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have so much knowledge, but my life and how I

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see myself has not changed. And I remember saying to myself,

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I got to start over. I just got to start over.

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And so I said to myself, what do kindergarteners do well?

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They get a calendar in gold Star. So I literally

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went down to the drug star, got a calendar gold stars,

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brought up home, and every day for the next thirty days,

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I gave myself a gold Star for anything anything I

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did in a positive, powerful way, anything forward, movement. And

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I'm talking about drinking and not getting drunk or getting

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angry and not breaking anything. I'm not talking about evolved.

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I'm talking about just anything positive. And at the end

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of thirty days, keeping track of my behaviors, keeping track

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of my actions, becoming more aware of my actual what

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I was actually doing, thinking, feeling, I had a calendar

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filled with gold stars, and that was the thing that

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made me realize that I could change.

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I didn't know really how quite yet besides the gold stars.

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But it gave me the hope I needed to keep living,

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to keep moving forward, and that actually set me on

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a mission where I eventually discovered fear was at the

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heart of everything, and here I am with fearless living.

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So it was a long, hard journey.

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I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and I felt like

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for most of my life I was crawling through glass.

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But I also know.

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That it was needed and necessary for me to be

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here to do with the work I do today, to

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be with the women that I'm with so that they

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know they have a safe place to be whatever they

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need to be in order to change their lives.

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Ronda, I don't even know what to say, and These

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are the times that I so wish I do interview

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as a person because I just want to hug you

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really too. I just want to hug you because why

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wouldn't you have thought it was your fault? Because especially

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as kids, it's all our faults. Yes, that's right, it's

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being sick or anything like that. If we had not argued,

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if we hadn't raised our voice, that's right, you know,

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all of those things that we put on ours that

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are just a natural thing to do. Yes, And to

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look at how you crawl through glass and look at

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what you've created and now fearless living what a whole

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other meaning it has in my brain right now, not

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knowing your backstory, not knowing what you have survived, and

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I am looking at this incredibly beautiful hybrun woman that wow,

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I mean seriously, to be able to pull yourself, not

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only yourself up, but then to find ways to pull

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other people up. Wow. I know your mom is looking down.

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She must be so friend.

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Well, you know you are well.

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Thank you, I thank you, And you know I know

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that part of my drive because I'm deeply devoted to

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my work, deeply devoted to you know, helping people live

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the life they're sole intended, you know.

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And I've had people say to me like, well, why do.

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You think that you you're not fear and why do

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you think you do this? I go, well, you want

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to psychoanalyze me, I'll tell you exactly why I do it.

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My mother died leaving my father. She was just about

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to live the life for soule intended and she died.

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And she died because my father was afraid, had no

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capacity to move beyond his sphere, and killed her because

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he had no other way to handle himself. And my

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mother stayed for far too long because she was afraid.

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And I am determined to make sure that nobody, if

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they want support to do it, that they can live

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the life there are sole intended.

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So nobody has to.

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Live a life that is not fully lived because my

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mother didn't get to live the life for a soul intended.

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She died when she was thirty nine years old. You know,

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I was fourteen, and I thought, you know, when I

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was fourteen year mom's thirty nine, you think she's old, right,

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And I remember as I was aging and then I

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turned thirty nine, I remember just thinking, oh my god.

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You know, because when you're thirty nine, you feel like

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you're twenty still, right, And I mean I feel like

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I'm twenty all the time, right, But you just are

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so young and so vital. And I just thought about,

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oh my gosh, what my mother was feeling and three children,

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and you know, she lost a baby too, and now

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she's married to a man she doesn't know how to

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get out, you know, get out from under and and

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you know, it took everything for her to leave, took

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everything for her to leave, and the fact that she

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died trying to do it is uh, just inspires me

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to this day. And I also believe if you want

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to get woo woo and this little woo woo dory,

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this little woo woo. I like to think of me

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and my mom and dad up in heaven, right, and

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I like to think of us as angels, right, and

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we're like, what are you gonna do next lifetime?

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And my dad's like, well, what do you want to do?

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And my mom's going, well, what do you want to do?

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And my dad goes, I know, I know, why don't we.

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Why don't we help the world, world get more fearless,

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get free of fear And we're all.

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Like, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea.

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Yeah, and he goes, okay, okay, Ronda, which my name

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wasn't Ronda, it was like Angel something, and he goes, well,

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why don't you help people solve fear? And I'm like me, oh, why, yes,

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that would be amazing.

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I would love to do that. That would be so cool.

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And then he goes, but something bad's gonna have to

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happen to you, really bad. And we're like, yeah, bad,

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and he goes, Okay, I'll be the bad guy this lifetime.

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I'll be the bad guy and I'll come down, I'll

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be your dad and you be the mom, and I'll

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kill you and I'll kill myself in front of you.

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And we're all like, yeah, yeah, that's great, right right,

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because we're setting the stage for my unfoldment. I just

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forgot my part for twenty years, right, But that that

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twenty years was part of that part of me, you know,

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crawling through glass, so that I could understand what it

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was really like to live in the pain that we

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live with today. Even though we look happy on the outside,

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even though we are thriving actually in so many ways,

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but there's those parts of ourselves that we haven't accepted

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the parts of ourselves that we haven't loved, the parts

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of ourselves that we're still ashamed of. And that is

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my work to do, is to support you and seeing

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that there is no reason to ever beat yourself up,

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because that is only fear.

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I don't think that's google. I don't you know what.

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I actually think that is brilliant. It truly is what

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a brilliant way to you say okay? And you know,

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because let's face it, we both know that so many

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people would use that as their reason. Like you said,

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you became you know, you started drinking all these things

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and would stay on that amster wheel. That's just self destruction,

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self loathing, self reproach, all of those things that I'm

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not good enough and everything else. People go into that.

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And again that's why I love the name fearless living, because.

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This is it.

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And every time I hear somebody say, oh, you only

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live once, it's like, no, you only die once, but

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you remember, right, you live every day. And that's why

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letting something, being afraid of doing something, you know, I

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want to talk about fearless living the whole mission behind

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that name, because it just in and of itself just

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tells you, you know, fearless living, and so many people

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are afraid to live fearlessly. So let's talk about that.

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Well, I you know, I love I love fearless living,

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and God gave me that. God was like, it's called

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fearless living. I'm like, okay, and you know I love that.

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Buddha use the word fearless and I love that. I'm

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trying to remember the woman's name. No, I'm forgetting it,

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you know, dying to be me who had the near

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death experience, who died on the table and she went

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to she went to the other side, and she came back,

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and all that spirits told her Jesus, I think she said.

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It was Jesus who.

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Came to her said go and be fearless, is what

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he said. When I read her book, I was like, yes,

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go be fearless.

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And that gives me. That just gives me.

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Whenever that happens, I just feel a little like.

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Yeah, I'm yeah, that's right.

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We got to be fearless because of course the number

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one phrase in the Bibles do not be afraid. But

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they don't tell you how not to be afraid. Right,

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that's the whole point. It's like everything I read, it

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was like it told me, like, love yourself, but it's like,

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how do you love yourself? If you don't know how

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to love yourself? Don't tell me to love myself, right,

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don't unless you're going to tell me exactly what to do.

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And I'm talking little, tiny steps because I would read

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those books and it would say, be, you know, be

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gentle with yourself and love yourself, and it's like, how

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do you do that if you've never done that, You can't.

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I can't find the answer in this book, and so

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I set apart.

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I think.

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I think what makes my work work is that I'm

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so practical because I was so frustrated in reading those

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books and taking those classes and going to therapy, like

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the puzz didn't make sense to me, Like there were

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missing pieces and nobody could explain the missing pieces. And

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I would be just like, what's there's something gone, There's

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something not happening here, There's something missing. And when God

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handed me fear, because it was God that gave it

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to me, ultimately it was like, that's it. That is

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the missing piece. Because once you understand how fear works,

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then everything else, your entire perception of the world shifts.

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Like the literal perception of the world. You know, you

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don't you know, the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the frustration,

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the hate, all of that stuff. You just see it

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all through the lens of fear. So it's not personal anymore.

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It's not about what they think. It's about it's literally

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that they're afraid. And when you can do that, you

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have so much compassion. You have so much compassion. Doesn't

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mean you have to be friends with them, doesn't mean

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you have to you know, have lunch with them, but

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you don't have that resentment, that bitterness, that anger that's.

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Eating you apart, you know.

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So I have parents always ask me, well, Ronda, I

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want to make sure I create it called the wheel

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of fear and will of freedom. And I have people

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come to your workshops or read the book Fearless Living

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and say, well, I don't want my kids to have

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any fear, and I go. The greatest way that you

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can support your children is by you understanding your fear

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so that you model to them what to do when

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you are afraid, because right now you're acting out when

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you're afraid, and so you're teaching them that fear is uncontrollable.

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You're teaching them that fear has the better of you.

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Once you understand how it works, then you can model

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that for your children, and that in that understanding, they

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are going to understand how to work through their fear.

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So as a parent, as a mom, as a father,

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as a partner, as a spouse, etc. The greatest gift

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that you can do is to figure out your own

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wheel of fear, to figure out that core trigger, to

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find out that thing that's really driving you, because I

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promise you what you think it is isn't it at all.

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And then that way you can actually know how to

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work with yourself so that you can shift and change

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in a way that supports you. Instead of doing it

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from a place of fear, I better not, I shouldn't. Instead,

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it's from what is moving me, what is inspiring me?

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What is being pulled, what's pulling me, what's nudge me?

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What is what is moving me forward?

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Live the life you're soul intended.

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On that note, we are going to take a quick break.

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I really want you to think about what Rhonda Wook

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just said. Really hear that. We'll be back in just

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a moment here on Word of Mom Radio.

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We want to tell your story because when you win,

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we all win.

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In twenty seventeen, Unsilenced Voices was formed to help survivors

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00:19:02.119 --> 00:19:07.519
of domestic abuse and gender based violence worldwide. The organization

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00:19:07.839 --> 00:19:13.480
currently serves sier Leone, Rwanda, Ghana, and the USA. In

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00:19:13.559 --> 00:19:18.160
twenty twenty two, Unsilenced Voices gifted over thirty three thousand

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rescued from sex trafficking and domestic abuse and now going

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00:19:29.960 --> 00:19:33.720
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We need your help. Donations are critical in order for

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help with research and development. Please visit Unsilenced Voices dot

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org for more information.

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And we're back here on Word of Mom Radio. We

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are talking with Ronda Britten about Fearless Living. I have

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to tell you your message is so wonderful to me,

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and it is something in my life that I have

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tried so hard. I have three kids, and my youngest

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my daughter got a reiki's certifications in India, her yoga

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certifications in Ecuador, her International massage therapy in Costa Rica,

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spent four and a half months backpacking across Southeast Asia

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to then do six months worth of work in Australia.

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And when she went to backpack her father, I was like,

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this is your fault. If you or her mother, she'd

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never be doing this shit. And my daughter was like, thanks, mommy.

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If you weren't my mom, I could never do this.

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That's right.

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I love that I gave my kids wings and never

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let their fears stop them. It's like, you know what, fear,

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00:20:52.720 --> 00:20:56.839
not doing what if are the worst words in the world.

404
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As far as I'm concerned in sharing what you do.

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You talk about making fear your friend. Yes, and I

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think that that is amazing and I would love to

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00:21:12.160 --> 00:21:16.079
know how you've done that and how you've helped people

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do that and what it does for your life when

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you can make fear your friend.

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Well, I'm going to tell you something really radical. And

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I remember when I was on Steve Harvey, I said

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this out loud to him, and he just like literally

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stopped and was like, what.

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Did you just say?

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And I said, this is what I told him, and

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this is what I'm gonna tell you. When you really

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understand that fear loves you, that it loves you, it

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just doesn't know how to love you anyway than to

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keep you safe. Every feeling you have has a job.

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Fear's job is not to make you happy. Fear's job

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is not to set you free. That's not fear's job,

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not the way it loves you. Fear's job, the way

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it loves you is by keeping you safe. And the

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challenges is that unless we understand that it's fear and

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how to work with it, fear only has the information

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it knows based on your past history, based on all

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the things stored in your brain. By the way, not

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only your brain, your DNA, your life experience. I mean,

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they have now proven that fears are handed down through

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our DNA. So when people come to me and say,

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I got to find what's wrong, I gotta find what happened,

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you may never find out what happened. You may never

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00:22:28.039 --> 00:22:31.920
find it out. Quit looking backwards to find out how

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to move yourself forward. That is like love it, you know,

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pray for it, bless it, you know, exactly like I

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did with my parents, right forgive it, let it go.

437
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And just what if you really thought to yourself every

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time that you beat yourself up, it was really fear

439
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trying to keep you safe because you're either thinking a thought,

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you're either contemplating a move, you're starting to feel an

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energetic shift, and so you got to beat yourself up

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00:22:58.400 --> 00:23:00.880
to put yourself down, to put you back in place.

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And that's not you doing it to yourself, not your

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essential nature, not who you really are. You would never

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do that to yourself. You would never do that to yourself.

446
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It's fear going. And I gotta shut Dory down. I

447
00:23:14.119 --> 00:23:16.640
gotta shut Sarah down. I gotta shut her down. She's

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about to do something crazy and I can't guarantee her

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safety because fear can only replicate what it knows. So

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it can't go into the future in uncertainty. That's not

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where it lives. It only lives in what it already knows.

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And so if you're gonna think about opening a new business,

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or you know, going and making YouTube videos or starting

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00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:44.079
to speak publicly, fear is gonna go. What do you think,

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come on, come on, you, come on you Now, I'm

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not saying that we're all one hundred percent fear. There's

457
00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:53.440
probably gonna be thirty or fifty or eighty percent of

458
00:23:53.240 --> 00:23:55.960
our self that's really excited and alive and has in

459
00:23:55.960 --> 00:23:58.279
our sense of freedom, But that fear is gonna come

460
00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:02.000
in and try to go you know, Are you sure

461
00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:02.759
you think?

462
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:04.000
I don't know?

463
00:24:04.160 --> 00:24:07.440
Because because again, fear knows everything you know. Fear is

464
00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:10.359
as smart as you are, as educated as you are,

465
00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:14.160
as spiritual as you are, as knowledgeable as you are.

466
00:24:14.880 --> 00:24:18.240
So fear knows everything you know and uses all of

467
00:24:18.279 --> 00:24:21.720
it against you to keep you safe, because that's fear's job.

468
00:24:22.559 --> 00:24:25.440
So once you understand that fear is not against you,

469
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:28.680
fear is not something to to you know, to be

470
00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:31.319
like you know, it's something to go. Oh, it's trying

471
00:24:31.319 --> 00:24:34.440
to keep me safe. My true nature, my essential what

472
00:24:34.480 --> 00:24:36.440
I call the essential nature on the wheel freedom. Your

473
00:24:36.519 --> 00:24:38.920
essential nature is wanting to move forward, wanting to thrive,

474
00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:42.000
wanting to feel alive, wanting to make a move, wanting

475
00:24:42.039 --> 00:24:44.720
to grow, wanting to shift right, because that's who we are.

476
00:24:44.720 --> 00:24:46.640
When we're true, in true, in our nature, we are

477
00:24:46.640 --> 00:24:49.720
growth beings but when we're thinking about that, when we're

478
00:24:50.359 --> 00:24:54.160
even like hearing somebody else do it or seeing somebody.

479
00:24:53.880 --> 00:24:55.519
Else do it, and it just goes. You just have

480
00:24:55.559 --> 00:24:56.960
a moment of right.

481
00:24:57.000 --> 00:24:58.440
You don't even say could I yet, You just go

482
00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:03.880
that moment fear goes. Oh boy, oh boy, oh gosh.

483
00:25:04.000 --> 00:25:05.759
I got to look through my file.

484
00:25:06.000 --> 00:25:07.960
No, we've never done this before, which means I can't

485
00:25:07.960 --> 00:25:10.640
guarantee your safety. I gotta get her to shut this down.

486
00:25:11.519 --> 00:25:16.799
So once you can see that, then everything changes, literally

487
00:25:17.160 --> 00:25:18.599
everything changes.

488
00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:24.000
That's amazing. Yeah, I just think back to the story

489
00:25:24.039 --> 00:25:26.720
my mom told me when I was a little kid.

490
00:25:26.920 --> 00:25:29.200
I was eighteen months old. My dog was sleeping and

491
00:25:29.240 --> 00:25:31.519
I jumped on him. He was a huge German shepherd

492
00:25:32.160 --> 00:25:36.640
and he turned his head and it clicked the back

493
00:25:36.680 --> 00:25:40.799
of my head off twenty nine stitches. Twenty nine stitches

494
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:43.359
is allowed of stitches at eighteen months old, like the

495
00:25:43.400 --> 00:25:44.240
whole back of my head.

496
00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:45.440
It was just wow in.

497
00:25:45.400 --> 00:25:49.039
A flat And so back then the doctor came and

498
00:25:49.079 --> 00:25:52.599
got us, brought us to his office, stitched my head

499
00:25:52.720 --> 00:25:55.519
and he told my mother, well, hopefully she's young enough

500
00:25:55.599 --> 00:25:57.839
that she'll get over this, but she's gonna be deathly

501
00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:04.160
afraid of animals, don't try to force her. Hopefully, they

502
00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:05.640
opened up the car door. I ran out of the

503
00:26:05.640 --> 00:26:10.119
car and I jumped on my dog. My mother said

504
00:26:10.200 --> 00:26:14.440
to me, thank god, we learned really early that you

505
00:26:14.559 --> 00:26:17.039
really were going to be afraid of much. And it's

506
00:26:17.079 --> 00:26:20.359
funny because in times in my life where I hear fear,

507
00:26:20.640 --> 00:26:22.160
I'm like, okay, come on, let's do it.

508
00:26:22.599 --> 00:26:22.799
Yeah.

509
00:26:22.960 --> 00:26:26.039
So I didn't even know I was making it, my friend, Yeah,

510
00:26:26.200 --> 00:26:27.039
I really didn't you.

511
00:26:27.599 --> 00:26:29.640
Yeah, Well, I mean I love it because you were

512
00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:34.039
raising an environment where your brain because again, our neural

513
00:26:34.039 --> 00:26:37.640
pathways were wired for fear. We're wired for this. But

514
00:26:37.880 --> 00:26:40.519
you were entrenched in an environment of your mother being

515
00:26:40.599 --> 00:26:44.279
such a risk taker that it was not it was

516
00:26:44.359 --> 00:26:48.440
not abnormal for you to take risks. You saw your

517
00:26:48.440 --> 00:26:50.640
mother every day take risks. You saw her being different

518
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:53.119
than all the other mothers, and that gave you a

519
00:26:53.119 --> 00:26:55.279
perception like, oh, I don't have to be like anybody else.

520
00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:58.799
Look at my mom. I mean she's not like anybody else, right,

521
00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:03.880
So what abuse beautiful, beautiful, beautiful gift she gave you?

522
00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:06.319
And also what a beautiful life you decided to be

523
00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:09.519
birthed into because you wanted to have like some good

524
00:27:09.599 --> 00:27:10.519
times in this life.

525
00:27:10.599 --> 00:27:13.079
It sounds like, you know, it's funny. I say it

526
00:27:13.119 --> 00:27:15.400
all the time that I came from a long line

527
00:27:15.799 --> 00:27:19.839
of my grandmother who left my grandfather in the fifties

528
00:27:20.160 --> 00:27:23.240
with her two kids, went to Florida, work three jobs,

529
00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:25.640
came back to New York and opened a nightclub. I

530
00:27:25.640 --> 00:27:29.160
always joked at Shirley Chisholm and you know, Gloria Steinem,

531
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.880
they must have been banging shots back with my grandmother.

532
00:27:32.319 --> 00:27:35.720
By aunt Jinny, who left her husband two kids, opened

533
00:27:35.720 --> 00:27:39.200
to her horse farm. It's just a long line of

534
00:27:39.319 --> 00:27:46.039
incredibly strong women who pave the way for all of

535
00:27:46.039 --> 00:27:48.839
these other women. My mom and my mom and dad split.

536
00:27:49.119 --> 00:27:51.319
A woman couldn't get a credit card. You couldn't that's right,

537
00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:53.880
that's right. You couldn't get a car. You know, today's

538
00:27:53.920 --> 00:27:59.200
women have no idea what we've gone through to make

539
00:27:59.279 --> 00:28:02.720
this happen. And how are moms and stuff? You know

540
00:28:02.960 --> 00:28:05.039
they see in marriages because they hain't nowhere else to go,

541
00:28:05.640 --> 00:28:06.960
They had no options.

542
00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:09.480
Well they I think it was women got credit cards

543
00:28:09.480 --> 00:28:11.640
in nineteen seventy four. My mother left my father in

544
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:12.559
nineteen seventy five.

545
00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:15.279
I mean, let's face it, as a woman even now

546
00:28:15.720 --> 00:28:18.400
trying to get a business loan, how many billions of

547
00:28:18.440 --> 00:28:21.599
dollars go out in business loans every year? We are

548
00:28:21.680 --> 00:28:25.880
a very small percentage, that's right, not even ten percent.

549
00:28:25.880 --> 00:28:26.240
That's right.

550
00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:30.119
It is a very small percentage that go to women. Yes,

551
00:28:30.200 --> 00:28:34.000
it's amazing. And yet here we are. You know what,

552
00:28:34.240 --> 00:28:36.440
Here we are and we say it here on our

553
00:28:36.480 --> 00:28:38.440
show all the time. When you win, we all win.

554
00:28:38.920 --> 00:28:39.319
That's right.

555
00:28:39.599 --> 00:28:43.119
That's what it boils down to you. And what if,

556
00:28:43.240 --> 00:28:46.000
oh well I can't do that, Sure you can, Yes

557
00:28:46.079 --> 00:28:48.440
you can. Those moms that are out there, Oh I've

558
00:28:48.440 --> 00:28:50.480
been home for twenty years. I don't know how to

559
00:28:50.559 --> 00:28:55.160
do business. What are you kidding me? Conflict resolutions, scheduling time,

560
00:28:56.079 --> 00:29:00.359
that's right, that's right for to be a CEO. Right,

561
00:29:00.400 --> 00:29:00.720
that's right.

562
00:29:01.440 --> 00:29:03.519
This is the exercise I give to the women who

563
00:29:03.559 --> 00:29:06.000
are thinking about going back to work, and they go,

564
00:29:06.400 --> 00:29:08.960
I haven't done anything like you're saying. I go, okay,

565
00:29:08.960 --> 00:29:10.920
this is what I want you to do. I want

566
00:29:10.960 --> 00:29:14.519
you to add up all the job titles that it

567
00:29:14.599 --> 00:29:20.799
takes to be you chauffeur, made cook, you know, organizer.

568
00:29:20.920 --> 00:29:24.319
I want every single title that you do on a daily,

569
00:29:24.359 --> 00:29:28.759
weekly basis, monthly basis. All the jobs of people that

570
00:29:29.000 --> 00:29:30.799
you would have to hire to do everything you do,

571
00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:36.160
go look up their salaries. Okay, because right about now,

572
00:29:36.160 --> 00:29:38.440
I guarantee you're probably in the four hundred to eight

573
00:29:38.480 --> 00:29:42.759
hundred thousand dollars a year range of everything you do, nanny,

574
00:29:42.920 --> 00:29:43.319
et cetera.

575
00:29:43.400 --> 00:29:43.920
I could go on.

576
00:29:44.119 --> 00:29:46.839
Right, So when women sit there and go, I've just

577
00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:49.599
been a wife, I'm like, like you what you're like?

578
00:29:50.000 --> 00:29:53.240
Your husband couldn't even afford you, Okay, if if you

579
00:29:53.279 --> 00:29:56.519
had to pay money, you couldn't even afford you, If

580
00:29:56.519 --> 00:30:00.480
your partner couldn't even afford you. So it's really interesting

581
00:30:00.480 --> 00:30:03.440
when you start putting dollars. I'm not a somebody who's

582
00:30:03.440 --> 00:30:07.319
inspired my money, but it's really validating when you actually

583
00:30:07.319 --> 00:30:09.319
write down all the job titles and put the go

584
00:30:09.440 --> 00:30:11.319
get go look at the salaries and look at the

585
00:30:11.359 --> 00:30:13.559
salaries based on where you live and then maybe in

586
00:30:13.559 --> 00:30:15.799
New York City. Just look at what it'd be and

587
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:18.279
then that is what that is what somebody would pay

588
00:30:18.319 --> 00:30:22.880
you for what you're doing. That's an immediate boost, just

589
00:30:22.920 --> 00:30:24.680
a media boost of like, wait a minute, you haven't

590
00:30:24.680 --> 00:30:27.119
been doing nothing. You've been doing everything right.

591
00:30:27.440 --> 00:30:30.839
We could keep going forever and I really would love

592
00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:33.440
to have you back. I would really love to read

593
00:30:33.480 --> 00:30:37.720
your book and talk about Fearless Living and what this

594
00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:42.279
book is all about, because this is so important. But

595
00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:46.319
as we're wrapping up this conversation, Ravan, what do you

596
00:30:46.480 --> 00:30:49.480
want to leave our listeners with? Then help me they

597
00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:50.319
reach out to you.

598
00:30:51.119 --> 00:30:52.599
Well, go to Fearlessliving dot org.

599
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:54.599
That's where everything hangs out and all my social medias

600
00:30:54.599 --> 00:30:56.759
are round to Britain, so you can find me anywhere

601
00:30:56.759 --> 00:30:59.480
with Ronda Britain or Fearless Living. Literally put me on

602
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:02.079
Google round Britain Fearless Live and you'll find me. And

603
00:31:03.079 --> 00:31:06.240
fearless Living dot org is my website and I just

604
00:31:06.359 --> 00:31:09.359
developed a brand new quiz. It's actually being unveiled this

605
00:31:09.440 --> 00:31:12.839
week like it's brand new. It's how to help you

606
00:31:12.960 --> 00:31:15.799
find your core fear, the number one fear that you have.

607
00:31:16.559 --> 00:31:20.799
And so it's Fearlessliving dot org forward slash quiz qui

608
00:31:20.920 --> 00:31:24.880
Z Fearlessliving dot org forward slash quiz quiz and go

609
00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:27.599
on over there and take my little quiz and it's

610
00:31:27.640 --> 00:31:30.799
gonna show you what might be that core trigger, that

611
00:31:30.880 --> 00:31:31.599
identity trigger.

612
00:31:31.599 --> 00:31:32.839
Because again, like I said.

613
00:31:32.640 --> 00:31:35.720
Earlier, what you think you're afraid of is more likely

614
00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:38.400
what I call a fear response rather than your core trigger.

615
00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:41.759
So let's find out what's really driving everything rather than

616
00:31:41.759 --> 00:31:43.799
what you think is driving everything. Because most people like,

617
00:31:44.000 --> 00:31:46.880
oh I'm not good enough. No, that's generic. That is

618
00:31:46.920 --> 00:31:49.480
not what your core trigger is. You know, oh, I'm

619
00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:52.720
fear of a fear of failure, probably not, you know,

620
00:31:52.799 --> 00:31:56.680
fear of rejection, most likely not right, there's something else

621
00:31:56.720 --> 00:31:58.119
that's really driving the boat.

622
00:31:58.359 --> 00:31:59.160
So Fearless Living.

623
00:31:59.079 --> 00:32:02.079
Dot org forward slash us QUIZI and go take the quiz.

624
00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:06.160
I can't wait to take that quiz, and I encourage

625
00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:09.519
all of you to do that. All of Bronda's links

626
00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:13.039
are going to be live. Connect with her on social media.

627
00:32:13.279 --> 00:32:17.759
Go to Fearlessliving dot org. Take the quiz, find out

628
00:32:18.440 --> 00:32:21.240
what is going on, and if you leave with anything,

629
00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:25.079
man leaves the whole idea of fear being your friend

630
00:32:25.680 --> 00:32:28.480
and it is there to protect you at times. That

631
00:32:28.720 --> 00:32:35.359
is what an amazing thing to realize in your life. Really, Rhonda,

632
00:32:35.519 --> 00:32:39.559
I am so thrilled that I have had this opportunity

633
00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:43.119
to share you. I really seriously watch you back because

634
00:32:43.119 --> 00:32:45.799
I have someone bunch of books and talk about them

635
00:32:46.200 --> 00:32:49.599
because I can't even imagine the wisdom I'm going to

636
00:32:49.640 --> 00:32:50.400
glean from it.

637
00:32:50.759 --> 00:32:53.880
Oh you are so You're so sweet, And just just remember,

638
00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:56.119
if you're listening to my voice or watching me right now,

639
00:32:56.200 --> 00:32:57.720
just remember there's nothing wrong with you.

640
00:32:57.720 --> 00:33:01.359
It's just fear. There's nothing with you, it's just fear.

641
00:33:01.960 --> 00:33:02.640
Don't listen.

642
00:33:03.559 --> 00:33:07.279
That's right. Ah, seriously, thank you so much, and for

643
00:33:07.400 --> 00:33:10.279
all of you tuning in, thanks so much for being here.

644
00:33:10.319 --> 00:33:14.039
We're gonna close out with our fabulous theme song from

645
00:33:14.079 --> 00:33:17.759
Smith's Sisters and the Sunday Drivers. So till next time,

646
00:33:17.799 --> 00:33:20.559
This is Dory di Carlo saying, go out and create

647
00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:22.920
a marvelous you. Bye for now.

648
00:33:26.160 --> 00:33:28.720
She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she

649
00:33:28.799 --> 00:33:32.839
is strong, she is true, she is true. She is

650
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:37.000
braz Bray, she is boul. She is you. She is you.

651
00:33:37.319 --> 00:33:40.400
She is you. She she is sure, she is sure,

652
00:33:40.480 --> 00:33:43.000
she is strong, she is strong, she is true, she

653
00:33:43.079 --> 00:33:48.400
is true, she is brave Bray, she is bol she

654
00:33:48.759 --> 00:33:51.319
is you. She is you. She is you, she is you.

655
00:33:51.920 --> 00:33:55.319
Sure of herself, Yes, she takes care of his powerful

656
00:33:55.400 --> 00:33:58.599
and strong. Yes, she knows who she is has integer

657
00:33:58.720 --> 00:34:02.240
edy woman strong and true. You know where by name.

658
00:34:02.480 --> 00:34:06.480
See this woman is you. She is sure, she is strong,

659
00:34:06.720 --> 00:34:11.920
is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave,

660
00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:16.280
she is she, she is you, she is, she is,

661
00:34:16.840 --> 00:34:20.760
she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true,

662
00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:26.480
is true, she is brave, she is, she is, she

663
00:34:26.719 --> 00:34:30.960
is you, she is she is adds value and hope

664
00:34:31.199 --> 00:34:34.039
has proved to be brave. See it's never too late,

665
00:34:34.400 --> 00:34:38.440
never time to behave Reaching for dreams doesn't matter. The

666
00:34:38.559 --> 00:34:42.880
age believes in herself, unleashed from her cage. She is sure,

667
00:34:43.000 --> 00:34:46.199
she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true,

668
00:34:46.440 --> 00:34:52.440
is true, she is brave, she is bold, she is you,

669
00:34:52.719 --> 00:34:56.840
she is, she is, she is sure, she is, she

670
00:34:56.920 --> 00:34:59.840
is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true,

671
00:35:01.480 --> 00:35:05.320
she is Pray is pray, she is but she is you.