March 20, 2025

Sue Donnellan Shares Secrets to Parenting on The Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo on WoMRadio

Sue Donnellan Shares Secrets to Parenting on The Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo on WoMRadio
Sue Donnellan Shares Secrets to Parenting on The Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo on WoMRadio
Word of Mom Radio
Sue Donnellan Shares Secrets to Parenting on The Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo on WoMRadio

Meet Sue Donnellan, a wife, mom of four, entrepreneur, author, once reluctant parent, and a reformed yeller. Her journey into parenthood was not one of immediate grace but of learning, unlearning, and real transformation.

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Meet Sue Donnellan, a wife, mom of four, entrepreneur, author, once reluctant parent, and a reformed yeller. Her journey into parenthood was not one of immediate grace but of learning, unlearning, and real transformation.

Early on, Sue recognized that those with the most to learn often become the most impactful teachers. This realization fueled her two decades of dedicated work, during which she had the privilege of mentoring hundreds of exhausted parents across the globe.

Sue’s approach to parenting, rooted in both personal and professional growth, led her to author the book, Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck. This work encapsulates her philosophy that effective parenting doesn’t have to involve conflict and stress but can be an experience of learning and love. Building on this, Sue created the Fight Free Parenting™ Course, alongside a variety of resources aimed at nurturing happy, harmonious families. True success in parenting, for Sue, is measured not just during childhood — but in maintaining a joyful, respectful relationship with your children as they grow into adulthood.

Her mission is simple yet profound: to help parents and children enjoy being around each other, fostering connections that last a lifetime.

Join host Dori DeCarlo on The Authors Alley and Coaching Corner and connect with Sue at AskMomParenting.com and on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Amazon and YouTube.

Please support UnsilencedVoices.org a global 501(c)3 nonprofit that empowers survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking. We thank Smith Sisters and the Sunday Drivers for our theme song, "She is You".

Be sure to connect with us on BlueSky, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and come tell us your story!

WordofMomRadio.com - sharing the wisdom of women, in business and in life.

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She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she

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is true, is true, she is brave, she is she

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is you. She is you, she is she is sure,

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she is true, she is strong, she is straw, she

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is true, is true, she is brave, is bray, she

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is she is you.

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Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio. Here

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on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host,

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Dory D Carlow, and you know we are here week

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after week, show after show, breaking those myths that morepreneurs

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and business women, especially those of us building our businesses

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from home, that we're just dabbling in between bake sales

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and getting our nails done.

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We're not.

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We are smart, we are savvy, and we are sharing

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the wisdom of women in business and in life. And

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I'm looking forward to bringing today's guest into both the

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parenting corner and our author's ali. As a mother who's

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balanced raising four kids, including triplets, with a full time

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business and a husband who's deployed to war five times,

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Sue Donellan fully understands the demands on parents to successfully

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manage a busy family life. The steep learning curve of

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going from one to four children almost instantly kickstarted. Sue's

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nevin for nurturing four unique individuals for no nonsense, judgment

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free parenting style created an environment of freedom, flexibility, and

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self initiated learning for her kids. After twenty five years

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in the trenches parenting four happy, prosperous people, there's much

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more to share that will make the entire process stress free,

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effective and fun. I have to say, I really enjoyed

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Sue's book and I'm really looking forward to sharing it.

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So with all that being said, Sue, welcome to Word

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of Mom Radio.

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Thank you, Dory. I really appreciate you having me.

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Oh it's my pleasure, and I would love for you to.

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Take us on your journey.

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And I love the picture of you. This is what

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being pregnant with triplets looks like. That was such a

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great picture in the book. But really, I would love

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for you to take us on that journey that finally

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led you to this book.

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Well, it started with marrying a guy who loves kids

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and wanted a family and wanted a big family, and

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me not really having a lot of exposure to children,

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not babysitting for money, not really being drawn to the

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motherhood space, but marrying a guy who wanted that, so

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I had one child for him. You know, we had

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our first born and he was negotiating for a second

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child and he wanted a third child. And I'm like, okay,

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I'll have another baby for you. This is the nicest

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thing I've ever done for anybody. I'll do this for you.

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You know, the universe had another idea in mind. They

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dropped a couple of eggs out of me and split

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one and I ended up with natural triplets. So our

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second baby turned into two, three, four, and we have

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identical boys and a girl. And then our older child

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is a son. So three boys and one girl. All boom,

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you know.

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At one time, Wow, I am a sister with three brothers.

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So ah, shere's to your daughter.

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Man. Yeah.

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Yeah, she's a tough one, for sure.

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She has to be.

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Yeah.

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So seriously though, so talk to us about your business life,

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and then again, what led you to create this book?

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Well, the business life is something you know. I was

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working from home and created my own business before it

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was popular after COVID, when.

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I knew I was marrying a guy in the military.

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I wanted to create a sales like a rep business

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that I could work from home and move around and

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carry it with me and not have to give up

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my education and my business acumen, you know, to be

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able to work with my husband who was going to

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be moving. I was balancing working a full time business

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where we did depend on my income, and then I

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worked from home and we had our first baby, and

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that all was something I had to learn to manage

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and balance and figure out how to splice my time.

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But once we had the four kids, you know, I

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still kept the business. It was something that was important

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to me, maintained for me, for myself, for our family,

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for finances, and that gave us the freedom to be

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able to go on trips. And it was also important

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for the kids to see that, you know, mom is

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busy working and go figure it out. They didn't have

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complete even though I was in the home, they didn't

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have complete access to me all the time to be

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able to solve their problems or you know, fulfill their

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needs or whatever. They had to know Mom when the

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door is shut or if I'm on the phone, mom's working.

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That was an important piece of being mom, I think,

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in a business owner. And as they got older, they

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understood the sacrifice I took to take my money from

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my savings and build a business and also kind of

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combine that with being a wife and a mom. But

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what brought me to the the book was that after

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having the four kids and being a type a person

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who runs her own business, you know, no experience with

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raising kids. I thought, well, when I tell the kids

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to do something, they do it. I had no clue

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of the nuances that it takes to raise raise children

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and motivate little people and go through all the phases,

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and so I kind of find myself yelling. You know.

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At that time, they were ages four and one and

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just yelling all the time, and my husband said, you know,

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you're yelling a lot, and I really felt justified in

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that yelling. I felt like, well, of course I'm yelling.

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You know, nobody's listening, and I've got a lot on

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my plate. And so when my oldest started acting out,

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we had them in a Montessori preschool, and the Montesssori

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school offered a class and the teachers thought, you do

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have quite a smart first born.

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He's very attuned to.

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Life, and he wants to test you, and he's got

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all the personality traits that make him successful someday, but

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make him a little difficult to parent. He and I

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were kind of butting heads. So I took the course,

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and again I felt completely justified in my yelling. My

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husband's deployed, I have four kids under four, I have

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a business, And the teacher just kind of looked at

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me and said, well, how's that yelling working for you?

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So at that moment, I was in receive mode. I

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went from external it's all abore me.

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I'm a victim to receiving, receiving new information, receiving how

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do I motivate these children? How do I use the

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innate psychology that I used. I have a real good

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skill set for psychology, which was helping me in sales.

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How do I take my natural skill set for reading

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people and for understanding how to motivate people in the

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sales world, and how do I apply that to my children,

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you know, understanding all their different personalities and so forth.

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So after I took this course, it's sort of generated

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in me. You know, it brought me in touch with

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what my innate skill which is people psychology, you know, behavior,

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And I went and I just did a deep dive

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onto psychology. I read about behavioral psychology, the monassory school

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is steeped into Edleirian psychology, and I read another book

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called Children the Challenge, and that just started my whole

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research into behavioral sciences for children and how to apply

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that to kind of get what I wanted, in other words,

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children who were behaving and children I didn't have to

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yell at.

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So through this process of.

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Understanding children's behavior phases, how to motivate children, how to

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create accountable kids who do things like packing their lunch,

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doing their laundry at five?

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How do I turn these children.

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Into little beings who know how to be in touch

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with their own intuitive skills and learn how to take

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care of themselves in a safe environment. How do I

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teach and train the kids about accountability and responsibility? And

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the Montessori school sort of opened my eyes to what's

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possible and what kids are willing and able to do

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with the right leadership. So as I learned all of

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those things, and my kids became older and I saw

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that it was working, and I did get feedback from

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other parents, like your kids, or how do you get

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your kids to mow the lawn and packing their lunches?

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And I started coaching other parents, and I started sharing

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and doing the workshops and what I was learning and

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how I was sort of experimenting with my own family.

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I started teaching other workshops and teaching other parents, and

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that started my coaching business on the side, because I

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still had my other main business. But by the time

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the kids got to be teenagers, that's when I really

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started formulating my idea of writing a book. And the

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reason for that was I started seeing other parents. As

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the kids became preteens. I noticed that parents were latching

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on to control and fear. And about the time I

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was letting go control and having faith in what I've

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trained and put into the kids and what we invested

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into the kids, into them as individuals. That was now

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starting to show. At thirteen fourteen, you know, they were

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showing responsibility. They were given a phone only tied to

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their sports, and it was tied to a reason and

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not just given. They didn't have gaming in the house.

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I didn't allow the Xbox. It could play it at

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their friend's house, but I didn't allow that whole culture

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in our home because gaming was real. That was dad's job, right.

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This isn't a game, it's dance a fighter pilot like

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this isn't part of a game.

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So anyway, those rules.

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And so forth, I was starting to kind of let

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go of control, will allow them to make their own

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decisions freedom within boundaries. I was still very much the leader.

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I still was the creator of the culture of the home,

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but they did have freedom to make their own choices

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within those boundaries. And I was noticing that all of

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the other kids, my kids' friends, and their parents were

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punishing and grounding into taking keys and restricting, and that

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was creating, you know, the restriction was creating a rebellion.

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And as I was seeing the teenagers unfold for us

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where we were in a very collaborative environment where I'm

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building that trust and that relationship of trust, where the

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kids were telling me everything things like curfew, Well, what

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do you think would be a good curfew? Okay, they're

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gonna start at two. I'm gonna start at ten. You know,

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we're gonna we're gonna treat this as a business. We're

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gonna come and meet in the middle to where I'm waning. Anyway,

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it's eleven o'clock. How about you earn you started at eleven,

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and you earn your time. You show me that you

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can get home at eleven and these were the types

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of things that we did in our home to build

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that baked in accountability. I felt like writing the book

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was something that was kind of calling to my soul's

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purpose because after all of the learning I needed to

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do to learn how to stop yelling and motivate four

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different individuals, I felt that it was something I could

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do to share with other parents to help save them

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on all the things that I had to learn.

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How can I put.

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This into a book and help any other parent that

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I can help so that they don't have to go

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through what I went through.

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So that's what led.

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Me to book.

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I have to say that I find it a very

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good book, and I like how you kind of broke

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it out into the parent's side of things, end of

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the adulting and looking at yourself and then looking at

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your kids, and and I like the end of the

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chapters having questions, having answers, your takeaways and things, because

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let's face it, when you have a child, they give

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you all this information about so much stuff that we

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don't take parenting classes. It's like that movie Parented where

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you know you have to have a license, have a dog,

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and drive all.

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Yeah, yeah, all.

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These things, but they just hand you a baby. It's like, yeah,

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good luck, don't forget to feed it.

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I really resonate with that.

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I remember getting our first baby, you know, leaving the

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hospital with our first son and just thinking, oh, my gosh,

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what a blank slate this kid is. He has that

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he needs me for every little decision, teaching and training

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and showing and investing our time and our wisdom.

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It's a daunting task that if.

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You're not prepared with what to do, you know, we

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can't treat them with little adults.

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They're not. And that's just you know.

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I'm gonna say that with my journey where I went

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thrown into the deep end from one to four kids

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and me yelling and me overwhelmed, I felt like all

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of the effort and reading and time I put in

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learning these techniques and these tips and these tricks that

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helped me manage a business and supporting a husband that

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was deployed and in the military and my and four

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different children, all of that was a lot of time

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spent that I saw. Parenting is my rearview mirror now,

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and I know that what the trial and error of

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what we did worked because now I see four individual

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kids out there fulfilling their own life passion, adding value

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to the world because they were invested in, and they

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were invested in an intentional way. So I felt like

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the book was a very important process for me to

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put out there into the universe to help parents. But

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the number one thing you know when you said about

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the way that I structured the book, is that what

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had to happen for me to stop yelling. I had

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to change, and parenting is everything. That's why I start,

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and I structured the book that way, and that's why

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I do a lot of parent coaching, because we have

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to look ourselves in the mirror and say, is it

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my ego? What am I attaching? What traumas am I

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bringing in? What you know, I was yelled at a

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lot when I was raised. I was grounded a lot,

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and that made me lie. So I had to sit

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with myself and say, what am I bringing to this relationship?

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And I can't just use knee jerk reactions that I

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didn't like from my mom and think that I'm going

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to get results.

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So I had to learn.

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I had to change, and I had to show up differently,

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which is why I felt like the book was an

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important piece of me to kind of get out to

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help other parents, and also just I enjoy taking time

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to coach and work in mentorship with parents and moms,

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especially because when we tweak even the slightest thing, the

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kids resonate with that, they respond, and then we get

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better behavior. So you can't change the child. To get

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better behavior, you must change yourself. That's the counterintuitive message

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that I teach.

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On that note, think of what Sue just said. We're

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going to take a quick break, say thank you to

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our sponsors, and we'll be back here in just a moment.

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On Word of Mom Radio.

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org for more information.

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00:15:47.320 --> 00:15:49.840
And we're back here on Bard of Mom Radio. We

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are talking with Sue Donoalan about parenting and her book.

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And before we start anything, Sue, I want to thank

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you for being a military wife. And I want to

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thank you husband or in his service, forgot to say

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something earlier. I don't think people realize what it is

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to be a military spouse. When your significant other is

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continually deployed.

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You want to have.

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That co parenting and it's got to be hard, especially

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when somebody comes in from being away for so long

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and now there's another parent in the mix.

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That's funny, that's.

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A really insightful thing to say, because my husband and

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I are just such a great team.

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Met in college.

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We're just we're those soulmate, happy people, you know. We

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are just such a great fifty to fifty team. So

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when he's home, he's tremendously helpful. He would work all day,

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fly his jet, come home, hit the ground running, and

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give the kids bath, give the you know, just just

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loved being a father and a husband and loved being

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in the family way.

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So I'm very fortunate grateful for that.

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But yes, it did take a lot of effort for

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me to stand up the home life and keep that canancy.

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00:17:00.840 --> 00:17:04.079
And yes, when he was deployed, my oldest son was

333
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asked at school in kindergarten, you know, your dad's gonna die.

334
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So I had a parent through these things and that's okay.

335
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Now flying a fighter jet himself. So it's a family business.

336
00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:16.680
It's all good. But again it's the leadership and as parents,

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00:17:17.400 --> 00:17:20.480
the way we respond, the way we react, the words

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00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:22.759
that we're using, that we choose to use as a leader,

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00:17:22.799 --> 00:17:26.680
as a parent leader is what's important. When you when

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you asked.

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00:17:27.039 --> 00:17:28.200
Me, that's a very insightful question.

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00:17:28.359 --> 00:17:30.200
You asked me about what that happened when he was

343
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gone eight months, nine months, whatever it was.

344
00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:33.359
Yeah, you're right.

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As a strong role model for my kids, I did

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00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:40.160
make the decisions I kept that house humming, and he

347
00:17:40.200 --> 00:17:42.839
did have to kind of step back into that treadmill

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that was constantly running, right, he had to gently figure out, Okay,

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they have new processes.

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I got to figure out. So that's really more on him.

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And he was very attuned, very insightful and understanding and

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00:17:55.599 --> 00:17:59.079
respectful toward me that he understands I have a strong wife.

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She kept the home. If you're burning, my job is

354
00:18:01.839 --> 00:18:05.240
to gently step back in and figure out where I

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00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:07.319
needed until we can get back into a rhythm again

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as a couple.

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00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:09.960
So I would give him the credit for that.

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00:18:10.400 --> 00:18:13.599
I give you both credit for that, because, yeah, let's

359
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:17.319
face it, there can become that clash of egos. No,

360
00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:19.079
I want it this way, you want it that way,

361
00:18:20.119 --> 00:18:25.160
especially when you go months between having a second parent

362
00:18:25.200 --> 00:18:28.480
at home for the kids too, it's like, oh, daddy's here, now,

363
00:18:28.519 --> 00:18:29.720
let me see if I can get away with this.

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00:18:29.799 --> 00:18:32.960
I mean, that's a kid's natural nature. I was really

365
00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:36.240
fortunate somebody gave me one of the best parenting.

366
00:18:35.880 --> 00:18:37.039
Advice I ever heard.

367
00:18:37.200 --> 00:18:39.759
I was pregnant with my first son and this guy,

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00:18:39.839 --> 00:18:43.559
he's a child psychologist, and said, it is a parent's

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job to set boundaries and it's a child's job to

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negotiate those boundaries. Ultimately, it is not a democracy. It

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is a dictatorship you are getting and if they don't

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like it, they can move out.

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It doesn't matter that there's seven.

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00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:59.000
And it's really true because and it's one of the

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00:18:59.039 --> 00:19:00.839
things that I got from your book, and I really

376
00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:05.039
liked that you pointed this out. When you set definitive

377
00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:08.640
boundaries for your children, they have freedom in their life

378
00:19:09.200 --> 00:19:12.920
because if you are not consistent as a parent, and

379
00:19:12.960 --> 00:19:14.799
they could do this yesterday, but now you're not going

380
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:16.480
to let them do it tomorrow, but you let them

381
00:19:16.480 --> 00:19:18.359
do it next week, but they can't do it last month.

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00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:21.480
You do not have kids that are confident in what

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00:19:21.720 --> 00:19:26.920
is going on in their home and their nucleus though, true.

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00:19:26.920 --> 00:19:32.880
Love, you are really putting that together nicely. Your consistency

385
00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:35.200
and I'm just making this up right now, but your

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00:19:35.279 --> 00:19:38.599
consistency as a parent equals your child's confidence.

387
00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:40.799
Wow, it really does that one.

388
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:43.920
I have to use that because, like, you're so right,

389
00:19:43.960 --> 00:19:46.160
because in the book I had in the first half,

390
00:19:46.200 --> 00:19:48.279
you know about your relationship with yourself, I didn't have

391
00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:52.000
a chapter about are you for sale? And why did

392
00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:54.480
I put that in there because all the parents that

393
00:19:54.559 --> 00:19:58.400
I saw, my kids friends' parents were inconsistent. They were

394
00:19:58.440 --> 00:20:02.640
telling their kids, don't drink, it's bad. And then when

395
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:06.279
the kids got their permit or their license, Hey, come

396
00:20:06.319 --> 00:20:08.400
pick me up at the bar. I'm too drink to drive.

397
00:20:08.759 --> 00:20:10.599
What what are we doing here?

398
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:10.839
Like what?

399
00:20:11.079 --> 00:20:15.759
The kid is confused. There's inconsistency, there's a lack of

400
00:20:15.799 --> 00:20:18.000
a role model. And I'm not saying you can't drink.

401
00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:20.759
I'm just saying figure it out in another way where

402
00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:24.039
you're not dumping this on your child to solve when

403
00:20:24.119 --> 00:20:27.319
you've been raising them telling them drinking is bad, don't drink.

404
00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:30.160
So it's just this level of for sale. Well, you're

405
00:20:30.200 --> 00:20:31.559
never going to get a new car, you're never going

406
00:20:31.559 --> 00:20:33.119
to up up. But then they get to high school

407
00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:35.279
and other friends have a new car, so you go

408
00:20:35.400 --> 00:20:37.440
back on what you've always said and you get them

409
00:20:37.440 --> 00:20:39.880
a new car. Now the kid knows like, well, you

410
00:20:39.880 --> 00:20:43.160
didn't mean what you said, and that provides instability to

411
00:20:43.200 --> 00:20:47.079
the child, and that provides a lack of confidence in them.

412
00:20:47.160 --> 00:20:51.359
So yeah, I really like that where your consistency creates

413
00:20:51.359 --> 00:20:55.039
your child's confidence. That is really a true statement.

414
00:20:55.519 --> 00:20:57.519
It does and I love that. Are you for sale?

415
00:20:57.559 --> 00:20:59.319
And it goes back to those boundaries.

416
00:20:59.440 --> 00:21:01.359
It is your child's job.

417
00:21:02.119 --> 00:21:02.920
It is a you know it.

418
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.680
Come on, they seriously they try to whittle you down.

419
00:21:06.279 --> 00:21:06.720
Yeah, you know.

420
00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:09.559
And I used to say rock meat, hard place. And

421
00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:11.720
my son one time said to me, the best thing

422
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:12.359
about me was.

423
00:21:12.359 --> 00:21:15.039
Also the toughest. I almost meant what I said.

424
00:21:15.200 --> 00:21:17.640
They need to know that. And I was lucky because

425
00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:21.839
my firstborn is a master at holding me accountable at

426
00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:22.599
four and five.

427
00:21:23.240 --> 00:21:24.319
He's what sent me.

428
00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:26.359
He's why I yelled, because we were both kind of

429
00:21:26.359 --> 00:21:30.160
a similar personality. But the kid was he had me

430
00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:32.839
basically parenting as a robot, because if I had a

431
00:21:32.880 --> 00:21:36.599
weak moment, I was exploited, and if I had an

432
00:21:36.599 --> 00:21:40.039
extra tough moment, I was challenged. He had me walking

433
00:21:40.119 --> 00:21:41.720
the finest line as a parent.

434
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:44.960
And he really challenged me. And we joke about that.

435
00:21:45.000 --> 00:21:48.119
Now I'm like, you really you set the tone as

436
00:21:48.200 --> 00:21:51.599
my for my parenting. You challenged me and taught me

437
00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:54.400
you were here, You're kind of a guide to me

438
00:21:54.559 --> 00:21:56.839
here like that, this is what in this life, this

439
00:21:56.920 --> 00:21:57.599
is what you did.

440
00:21:58.039 --> 00:22:00.039
And we joke about that.

441
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:02.480
But he just had that personality where I was like, gosh,

442
00:22:02.519 --> 00:22:04.200
I'm damned if I do it, and damned if I don't.

443
00:22:04.440 --> 00:22:07.000
This kid's making me tell the line. But he taught

444
00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:12.480
me the importance of being consistent and the importance of

445
00:22:12.519 --> 00:22:16.400
the child is desperately looking and watching and you know,

446
00:22:16.480 --> 00:22:18.799
making sure that did she mean what she said.

447
00:22:19.160 --> 00:22:21.519
I'm not a drinker at all, but once a year.

448
00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:23.440
This is so if you saw this in the book,

449
00:22:23.480 --> 00:22:26.519
but this is just this was so gosh.

450
00:22:26.599 --> 00:22:28.559
I splash of cold water on my face.

451
00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:31.559
As a parent, I don't drink really at all, but

452
00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:34.880
once a year at Christmas, I would have some baileies and.

453
00:22:34.759 --> 00:22:35.960
We would trim the tree.

454
00:22:36.319 --> 00:22:38.279
I never told my kids don't drink, it's bad whatever,

455
00:22:38.319 --> 00:22:41.240
but you know, obviously we have rules whatever drinking. I'm

456
00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:44.000
on a big drinker. Once my daughter was maybe ten,

457
00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:47.160
she found out that I had alcohol in the cup.

458
00:22:47.599 --> 00:22:51.799
There goes my role model for not drinking. What wait,

459
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:54.319
what you know what? Instead of getting mad, I took

460
00:22:54.359 --> 00:22:57.880
a moment. I took a breath, and I thought to myself, Wow, okay,

461
00:22:57.960 --> 00:23:02.720
so this is interesting children from one to ten. I'm

462
00:23:02.720 --> 00:23:05.359
just whatever. Your child is different. When in a range

463
00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:08.160
is black and white, it's bad. It's good. When your

464
00:23:08.279 --> 00:23:10.559
child is ready for nuance and they're ready for the gray,

465
00:23:11.240 --> 00:23:13.720
then they are going to make a statement like that,

466
00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:15.119
they're gonna call you out.

467
00:23:15.559 --> 00:23:16.519
And again, if.

468
00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:19.039
I'm confident in my leadership and I'm confident in the

469
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:22.039
messaging and I'm consistent, I'm going to take a minute

470
00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:26.279
and go, oh, she's ready to understand that it's not

471
00:23:26.559 --> 00:23:29.079
bad or good. It just is. It doesn't have to

472
00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.480
have meaning attention to it.

473
00:23:30.920 --> 00:23:32.119
Yes, once a year.

474
00:23:32.240 --> 00:23:34.000
I have a tradition that I like a little Bailey's

475
00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:36.519
it's not a bad thing, and adults do that, and

476
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:38.799
that's okay because I'm an adult and I can make

477
00:23:38.799 --> 00:23:40.119
my own choices as an adult.

478
00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:42.480
So it's now she's ready for a nuance, she's ready

479
00:23:42.519 --> 00:23:42.880
for gray.

480
00:23:42.920 --> 00:23:45.839
So instead of getting mad and yelling at her and

481
00:23:45.960 --> 00:23:47.519
like well who the hell are you and blah blah blah,

482
00:23:47.519 --> 00:23:49.680
you know, I didn't. I just took a beat and

483
00:23:49.720 --> 00:23:52.440
I was like, oh, okay, she's she needs to be

484
00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:55.759
made to understand that any alcohol isn't bad or good.

485
00:23:55.880 --> 00:23:57.920
Let's have a new conversation. It's about moderation.

486
00:23:58.039 --> 00:24:01.440
It's about you know, tradition, about whatever it is that

487
00:24:01.480 --> 00:24:03.319
you as the parent want it to be about kids

488
00:24:03.319 --> 00:24:04.400
will hold you accountable.

489
00:24:04.640 --> 00:24:06.559
But you know, you were also modeling this is in

490
00:24:06.599 --> 00:24:08.880
your house. You're not going anywhere, You're not in a car.

491
00:24:09.039 --> 00:24:12.200
This is right mommy home, having a cocktail while with

492
00:24:12.279 --> 00:24:15.960
trimingtry and doing our Christmas stuff. Yeah, so you were

493
00:24:16.200 --> 00:24:19.000
modeling responsible drinking. You know, but if you are going

494
00:24:19.000 --> 00:24:20.160
to one time of year.

495
00:24:20.200 --> 00:24:24.480
But can you imagine she was viscerally like, there goes

496
00:24:24.559 --> 00:24:25.880
my roll model for not drinking.

497
00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:28.519
It was like, okay, whoa, whoa, this is you know

498
00:24:28.559 --> 00:24:29.799
what kind of pressure.

499
00:24:29.480 --> 00:24:32.680
I didn't you know, I'm telling you nobody. No, the

500
00:24:32.759 --> 00:24:35.400
pressure as a parent and the stuff that they can

501
00:24:35.440 --> 00:24:39.160
say where you're just like, yeah, you do so all right,

502
00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:41.599
you know, it's an amazing thing how fast this goes.

503
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:43.759
We're kind of wrapping things up here. I'm going to

504
00:24:43.799 --> 00:24:47.359
ask you as you're leaving this conversation, what do you

505
00:24:47.400 --> 00:24:50.279
think the most important gift parent can come instill in

506
00:24:50.319 --> 00:24:52.759
a child soon And people find.

507
00:24:52.680 --> 00:24:56.160
That's very easy. The most important thing we need to

508
00:24:56.200 --> 00:24:58.599
do is invest in them individually to help them find

509
00:24:58.680 --> 00:25:01.440
their purpose in the life. What is going to get

510
00:25:01.480 --> 00:25:03.839
them out of bed in the morning, take your ego

511
00:25:03.880 --> 00:25:07.079
out of it, take all of your expectations out of it,

512
00:25:07.359 --> 00:25:09.839
and invest in them as people. Help them connect with

513
00:25:09.880 --> 00:25:12.720
their gut and what makes them happy and what is

514
00:25:12.759 --> 00:25:14.079
going to get them out of bed in the morning

515
00:25:14.079 --> 00:25:17.400
to where they can add value to society. And that

516
00:25:17.440 --> 00:25:20.200
prevents a whole host of time on the couch for them,

517
00:25:20.720 --> 00:25:25.119
of second guessing themselves of whatever. You invest in that individual,

518
00:25:25.119 --> 00:25:29.680
confidence for that particular child and treat them as that individual,

519
00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:32.039
and then by the time they get to college and

520
00:25:32.079 --> 00:25:35.039
beyond or wherever trade school, they will be marching to

521
00:25:35.079 --> 00:25:37.480
the beat of their very happy drum. And that's my

522
00:25:37.599 --> 00:25:39.759
job as a parent, is to invest in them as

523
00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:40.519
an individual.

524
00:25:40.799 --> 00:25:42.400
How can people reach out to you soon?

525
00:25:42.799 --> 00:25:46.960
They can find me on askmomparenting dot com and I'm

526
00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:50.440
also on Facebook and Instagram with ask mom as my handle.

527
00:25:51.640 --> 00:25:54.720
I've got a variety, got a book on Amazon, Secrets

528
00:25:54.799 --> 00:25:59.119
to Parenting Without Giving an F and that is my

529
00:25:59.559 --> 00:26:02.160
best selling book. I've given a Mom's Choice aword for

530
00:26:02.200 --> 00:26:06.279
it and part of that. So yeah, that's long parenting

531
00:26:06.440 --> 00:26:08.519
and you'll be able to find me awesome.

532
00:26:08.720 --> 00:26:11.119
All of Sue's links are going to be live on

533
00:26:11.160 --> 00:26:14.519
Wordomomradio dot com. I really encourage you read the book.

534
00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:17.599
It's a good book. And you know what, as parents,

535
00:26:17.960 --> 00:26:21.200
we have the most awesome job in the world. And

536
00:26:21.559 --> 00:26:24.160
the job of mom is a job that never ends.

537
00:26:24.559 --> 00:26:27.960
It is a lifelong job, and if you're really lucky,

538
00:26:28.359 --> 00:26:31.200
it morphs into the job of Mimi, which is like

539
00:26:31.200 --> 00:26:33.640
the best job in the world. Because my job's already done. Please,

540
00:26:33.680 --> 00:26:35.319
thank you. Did you wash your hands after you went

541
00:26:35.319 --> 00:26:39.400
to the bathroom? I'm done. You get to be the

542
00:26:39.440 --> 00:26:42.599
parent now and I get to read the rewards. So

543
00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:46.319
it is a wonderful thing. And I was born to

544
00:26:46.319 --> 00:26:48.039
be a mom. It's what more Word of Mom is

545
00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:51.559
all about, because as women out there, we are remarkable

546
00:26:51.880 --> 00:26:52.599
in what we do.

547
00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:53.480
We really are.

548
00:26:53.559 --> 00:26:56.400
So Sue, thank you so much for sharing your book,

549
00:26:56.559 --> 00:26:59.559
for the wonderful job you've done bringing four amazing people

550
00:26:59.599 --> 00:27:02.440
into this world, for the support that you give your

551
00:27:02.519 --> 00:27:06.400
husband in the military, and all of it. I'm thrilled

552
00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:08.799
to have had the opportunity to share you here on

553
00:27:08.920 --> 00:27:09.799
Word of Mom Radio.

554
00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.119
Thank you so much, Thank.

555
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:12.440
You so much.

556
00:27:12.480 --> 00:27:15.319
I really appreciate being given the chance to share.

557
00:27:15.359 --> 00:27:17.039
It's been my pleasure.

558
00:27:17.079 --> 00:27:19.799
And for all of you tuning in, thanks so much

559
00:27:19.799 --> 00:27:22.240
for being here. We're going to close out with our

560
00:27:22.359 --> 00:27:26.039
fabulous theme song from Smith's Sisters and the Sunday Drivers.

561
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:29.480
So till next time, This is Dory de Carlow saying,

562
00:27:29.480 --> 00:27:32.400
go out and create a marvelous you. Bye for now.

563
00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:37.920
She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she

564
00:27:38.079 --> 00:27:43.160
is strong, she is true, is true, she is Brazra,

565
00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:48.319
she is she is you You, she is you. She

566
00:27:48.440 --> 00:27:50.839
is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is

567
00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:57.200
she is true, is true, she is braise, she is

568
00:27:56.920 --> 00:27:58.279
she is you.

569
00:27:58.519 --> 00:27:59.960
She is you, she is you.

570
00:28:00.119 --> 00:28:03.440
She is sure of herself. Yes, she takes care of

571
00:28:03.480 --> 00:28:06.880
his Powerful and strong. Yet she knows who she is,

572
00:28:07.160 --> 00:28:11.559
has integrity, woman, strong and true. You know her by name.

573
00:28:11.759 --> 00:28:15.759
See this woman is you. She is sure, she is strong.

574
00:28:15.839 --> 00:28:21.200
He is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave,

575
00:28:21.319 --> 00:28:26.240
she is she is you, she is she is she

576
00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:30.039
is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true,

577
00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:35.759
is true, she is brave, she is bold, She she

578
00:28:36.000 --> 00:28:40.240
is you, she is she is She adds value and hope,

579
00:28:40.519 --> 00:28:43.319
has proved to be brave. See it's never too late,

580
00:28:43.680 --> 00:28:47.720
never time to behave Reaching for dreams doesn't matter. The

581
00:28:47.839 --> 00:28:52.160
age believes in herself utleast from her cage. She is sure,

582
00:28:52.279 --> 00:28:55.480
she is she is strong, is strong, she is true,

583
00:28:55.759 --> 00:29:01.720
is true, she is brave, she is she is you,

584
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:06.759
she is, she is sure, she is, she is strong,

585
00:29:06.839 --> 00:29:08.680
she is strong, she is true.

586
00:29:08.640 --> 00:29:10.119
Is true.

587
00:29:10.759 --> 00:29:14.200
She is braid, is braid. She is she is, she

588
00:29:14.400 --> 00:29:14.599
is you.
Sue Donnellan Profile Photo

As a mother who has balanced raising four kids (including triplets) with a full-time business and a husband who deployed to combat five times, I fully understand the demands on parents to successfully manage a busy family life. The steep learning curve of going from one to four children almost instantly kickstarted my methods for nurturing four unique individuals. My no-nonsense, judgement-free parenting style created an environment of freedom, flexibility and self-initiated learning for our kids. After twenty years in the trenches, parenting four happy, prosperous people, there is much to share that will make the entire process stress-free, effective and fun.