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She is sure, she is true, she is straw, she
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is she is true, is true, she is praise, pray,
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is she is you.
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Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio. Here
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on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host,
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Nori Di Carlo, and you know we are here week
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after week, show after show, breaking those myths that morepreneurs
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and business women, especially those of us building our businesses
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from home, that we're just dabbling in between bake sales
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and getting our nails done. We're not. We are smart,
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we are savvy, and we are sharing the wisdom of
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women in business and in life. And I am very
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excited about bringing today's guest into our author's ali because
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it excites me when I actually see somebody I know
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continue on and do this. So I'm so excited to
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share Marla Tobacco with you. She is a business coach, author,
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and mindset expert with over twenty years of experience helping
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entrepreneurs move beyond self doubt, scarcity thinking, and survival mode
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decision making. She blends practical business strategy with neuroscience based
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mindset tools that help business owners grow profitable companies with
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greater clarity and confidence. An ink dot com contributor featured
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in outlets such as Time Business and Thrive Global. Marla
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has supported thousands of entrepreneurs in rewiring, limiting beliefs, strengthening
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emotional resilience, and stepping into leadership. Known for her direct,
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yet compassionate approach, Marla focuses on sustainable success rooted in
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brain based change rather than hustle or surface level positivity.
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Her Bullshift tools are grounded in real world coaching experience
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and designed to create lasting transformation from the inside out.
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And we're sharing her book Bullshift. Money does grow on trees.
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I cannot wait to share this book. So with all
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that being said, Marlow, welcome to Word of Mom Radio.
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It's so good to see you again. Dorry. It's been
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far too long, and I'm really excited to be here.
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Yeah.
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I agree. I'm thrilled to share your book. And this
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is where social media is so much fun. Because I
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was scrolling through and all of a sudden, Marla pops
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up on my timeline with her new book, and I
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sent her a message. I'm like, Marla, come on the show,
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let's share this. So talk to us about Bullshift, what
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brought it about, and why bullshift is so important.
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Yeah, yeah, you know, Dorry, As you said in your
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wonderful introduction, thank you. I've been coaching entrepreneurs for over
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twenty years, and I cannot tell you how often an
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entrepreneur who is just brilliant at the core and has
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had so much success on varying levels says something and
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I just want to say, bus, that's not true, and
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yet they believe it with all their heart and soul.
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And I have been studying neuroscience now for as long
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as I can remember, and you know, something that's come
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to light in probably just the last ten years is
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that when we am limiting beliefs, it's actually programmed into us.
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So when we're taught something from a very young age
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that doesn't serve us well about success, confidence, money, whatever
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it is, it actually becomes an ingrained neuropath way within
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our nervous system and becomes a part of us. So
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it's important that people not just go for the fluff.
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Affirmations are fabulous, but they're one of many tools, and
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there are certain ways we use these tools. It's important
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that people don't just go for the kind of fluff
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fix and think that it's going to work. Our brain
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can learn new things, and neuroplasticity enables us to grow
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and change even the most hardcore, ugly negative beliefs that
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hold us back. And in Bullshift, I thought it was
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important to bring those tools that I had been using
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for over twenty years. And back then, I'll confess unknowingly,
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I didn't know I was tapping into neuroscience by using
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these tools into neuroplasticity. By using these tools, I had
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no clue. We didn't know this stuff. I thought it
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was important to really bring these tools into one place
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where people can benefit from them and learn that they
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are capable, they can be confident, and that they deserve
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their success.
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When you think about it, science has proven if you
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speak to a plant that's failing and given encouraging words
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and things like that, it will grow. Well, imagine doing
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that for yourself instead of because we beat ourselves up
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all the time. So that title of bullshift bold and rebellious.
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So for you, what does bullshift actually mean and how.
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Did you develop this concept? Yeah? For me, it means
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taking these bs beliefs that we all have because we
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do and converting them by using tools that are grounded
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in neuroscience into powerful belief systems, eliminating what we may
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believe to be true and using the tools to see that. Okay,
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there may be a statement or part of that statement
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that could be true, but is your entire statement true?
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And really taking a close look at these things. I'll
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give you an example. I had a client who came
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to me after COVID, and it was a while after COVID,
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and she said, you know, my business just went bust
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during COVID and there's no way I can rebuild it.
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So I said, okay, what part of that statement do
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you have evidence of. Well, part of that statement is
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absolutely true. She said, well, we're belly up during COVID. Right,
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what about the second part of that statement, statement, I
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have no way to rebuild it and it will be
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impossible to rebuild it. How do you know that's true? Well, up, up,
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up up. All these excuses, all these stories, all these
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fairy tales she told herself, none of it was true,
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and today she is back up at the million dollar
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mark in her business. Because we've been working together. We
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debunked that myth, that that half truth that she was
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telling herself, and we got that business back up and running.
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We's some changes, of course, but we did. We did, so,
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you know, looking at the things we tell ourselves and
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really challenging. You know, one of the things I say
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in the book Dory is really the secret to life,
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balance and happiness all comes down to the way we think.
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But the problem with that is most of us don't
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sit around thinking about the way we think. And it's
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very true, it's so true. You know, we won't challenge things,
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you know, to say, oh, these things aren't true because
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to us, if it's a belief and it's ingrained and
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you have neural pathways that are firing off telling you
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this is true, it is your truth, So why would
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you challenge it?
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So well, you know what you said it earlier, that
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you didn't look at things as being based in neuroscience
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and things like that. But that's scarcity thinking, and you
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talk about it in your book. Thoughts are things, And
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it's like Henry Ford said, whether you think you can
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or you think you can't, you're right.
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Yes.
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So how do you help people to get out of
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that stuck in scarcity thinking mindset?
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Yeah? And the very first thing that we have to
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do is, of course, we create the relationship that's built
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on trusts right so that the person can be vulnerable
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and feel safe doing that. That's really important. And then
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I will start challenging their limiting thoughts and the things
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that come out of their mouths, Oh, I'll never find
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somebody who can take my place in sales. In my business.
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I'm the only one who can sell this service or
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this product. Oh you'd be amazed. That's such a compiace
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on it. Oh you won't, okay, And so I start
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challenging these beliefs, and I give them homework to investigate
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how they could find someone or is that person out there?
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What if? What if you chose to believe let's just
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suspend this disbelief for a minute. What if we employed
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some playful curiosity. What if that person is out there
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and you chose to believe that that person is out there?
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What would happen?
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Then? Oh?
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Well then and you see it starts teaching the brain
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something new. Well, then, oh, this could happen, and that
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could happen. Playful curiosity is one of my favorite phrases,
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and I use it a lot because it gives us
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permission to break out that realistic magic wand and think
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beyond our mindset limits. And to play with it instead
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of taking everything so seriously. And I had to do
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that to write this book to because when I started
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writing this book, I was so afraid. I was so
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afraid of saying it wrong, doing it wrong, but not
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being good enough. And then I finally said, let's just play.
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What if? What if I wrote this book for me?
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What if I wrote it for fun? What if I
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wrote it and gave it to a few people just
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to get it out there and help people. And That's
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how I allowed myself to break through the limiting beliefs
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that I was engaged in in my ability to write
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this book.
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Let's face it, writing a book is going out in
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your slip.
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It really is.
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It's really bearing yourself and the things that you have
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found successful over twenty years of doing what you're doing,
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and you break it into a way that it's a
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fun read. I like that it has different exercises and
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things that you can do. You know, because for some
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of people they're going to look and go, oh, I
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don't want to do this, and then there are others
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that are going to jump right in and go, oh yeah, this, this, this,
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Oh wow. I didn't think about that. And again, what
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we say to ourselves that whole new science behind the
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thoughts or things, yep, is remarkable. Having a radio show.
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I've listened to women talked themselves out of their dreams
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absolutely amazingly. And you know, as a coach, they'll come
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in all excited about something that they're going to implement,
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and then as they're talking about the excitement, all of
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a sudden, the doubt creeps in and starts taking over,
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and you're watching the elevator shaft shift going way. Wait wait, wait, wait,
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wait wait, let's get back to where we started. Remember
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the good part of it. What if it all goes right? Yeah,
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what if all these obstacles you are dreaming of don't happen?
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It is the bullshift of moving things. I'm focused on
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the title. I love the title. I think it's brilliant.
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Thank you, thank you. You know it came about in
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a funny way, bullshift. At first, I was looking for
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just a for the set of tools so that I
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could develop a group coaching program around it. And I
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was out with a good friend who was visiting from
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Florida and she's also a coach, and I'm like, I'm
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so stuck. I'm not marketing this program because I can't
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think of a title for it. And she says, all right, Marla,
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what really pisses you off? And I said, and this
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is in the book. The story is in the book.
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And I said, Oh, what really makes me angry is
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when I get a brilliant client who's had success after
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success after success, and yet they doubt themselves. They see
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themselves as a failure. Everything is stuck up here, and
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they believe all these BS stories that they tell themselves,
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and they can't shift themselves into a positive frame of mind.
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And we both looked at each other and we both
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said at the same time, bullshift. Take the BS and
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shift it. Bullshift. And so that's how bullshift was born.
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And it has just taken off in so many ways.
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And I have a friend. I meet a group of
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friends for coffee every week and there's this one gentleman
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there who is a very successful man, retired. This man
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comes into the coffee house with stacks of books, you know,
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all sorts of books and different genres. And so he
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found out I wrote a book, and he bought it.
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And I have to tell you, Dorry, I got really
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nervous because I'm like this man is a world traveler,
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he's well read, he's got money, he is successfully retired.
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You know, he's doing great. He's gonna think my book
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is stupid. This man comes in every day every time
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I see him, not every day. And he said, I
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did that other exercise. I did exercise number six. Oh
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my god, that exercise was amazing. This book, yeah, so
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there's something in it for everyone. I think we all,
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myself included. You know, we all continue to believe things
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about ourselves, about the world, about whatever that aren't necessarily true.
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It's just our perspective, and this book will point that
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out to you and help you to shift out of
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that so that you can achieve the things you want
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to do.
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On that note, think of what Marla just said. We're
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going to take a quick break, say thank you to
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our supporters, and we'll be back here in just a moment.
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On Word of Mom radio, she is brave, she is bold,
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she is you, and we want to tell your story.
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Are you ready to share your journey with us on
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Word of Mom Radio. Go to wordommradio dot com and
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register as a guest. We want to tell your story
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because when you win, we all win.
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In twenty seventeen, Unsilenced Voices was formed to help survivors
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of domestic abuse and gender based violence worldwide. The organization
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currently serves sire Leone, Rwanda, Ghana, and the USA. In
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twenty twenty two, Unsilenced Voices gifted over thirty three thousand
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dollars to survivors in the USA and in sier Leone.
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There are over twenty six young girls who have been
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rescued from sex trafficking and domestic abuse and now going
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through vocational training school in order to better their lives.
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We need your help. Donations are critical in order for
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us to continue our work. We also need volunteers to
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help with research and development. Please visit Unsilenced Voices dot
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org for more information.
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And we're back here on Word of Mom Radio. We
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are talking with Maril at Tobacca about Bullshift. It is
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a great book. It really is. And at any point,
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as you were saying that gentlemen who's retired, really the
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things a lot of the exercises that are in this
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book you can take out of the business world and
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just put into life, because it's about everything.
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You know.
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I have a friend who's very well off. Every decision
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she makes it's like she's pulling teeth. She was trying
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to figure out I'm taking a trip and I'm just
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sitting there, going hit the button. Just hit the button.
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What's the worst case scenario? You cancel it. You have
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cancelation protection and everything else. It'll literally cost you fifteen
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dollars if you change your mind. Hit the button now.
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It's so funny because she laughs as she's doing things.
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She goes, Dory, I, seriously, I'll hear you in my head.
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Hit the button. Just hit the button. Stop making yourself crazy.
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She's like, I'll spend four hours. You would have already
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hit the button. We'd already been shopping, we'd been taking
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a walk, we'd have walked three miles and everything. As
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I'm sitting there trying to make that decision. And it's
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crazy because I want to ask you, four people who
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are listening, give them a bullshift exercise that they could
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try this right now, just start changing their relationship with
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that money confidence, that scarcity mindset that is telling them
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don't hit that button.
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Well, let's see. I happen to have the book right
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in front of me. You know, Dory, I think that
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one of the most powerful exercises that we can do
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is reframing. Reframing I always tell people to pay attention
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to how you feel in your body, because your body
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is a barometer for your mindset. Right, and if you're
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feeling if you say something out loud and you feel heaviness,
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you feel anxiety, you feel flutters of nerve, that will
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tell you that your thought isn't aligned with what you
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want and what you deserve. That's an important part. I
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always add. You deserve happiness. We all deserve happiness. We
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all deserve what we want. And so to pay attention
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to your body and if something comes out of your
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mouth that causes that response in your body, reframe it, say,
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And there's the book has gosh sections on how to reframe,
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and it gives you great examples of reframing. And I'm
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looking for one in here, just to try and take
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the thought up another notch. So let's try and think
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of an example of something that you might say, I'm
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not capable. Let's use the example I used earlier. My
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business went bust during COVID and I'm not capable of
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regrowing it all, right, part truth, part faults. Let's reframe
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that my business did do poorly during COVID. It wasn't
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my fault, and I've proven that I'm capable of building
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a solid business. It doesn't have to say. You don't
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have to say I am going to do it again
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if you don't quite believe that. I always tell people
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to not necessarily, you know, try and step up to
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ours three rungs of the ladder at the same time,
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Take one rung at a time. Take it to the
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next most believable level of thought. I can't go on
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a diet. I can't lose weight. I know I need to,
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but I can't. Okay, what can you do? Can you
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take a walk today? Can you eat a salad for
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lunch today instead of a sandwich that's filled with calories?
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Reframe And what that does is it starts to well,
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it does a ton of things within the brain, but
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it starts to give you confidence. It starts to send
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the brain messaging of what you really do want, and
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it starts to reduce the fear and anxiety that The
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part of the brain is called the reticular activating system
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or the RAS filters out things and filters in things,
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allows things into the brain. It starts to send a
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different message to the ras so that it will. I'll
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show you opportunities to achieve what you want to achieve.
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The more you say I cannot, your subconscious mind is going, hey,
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she's feeling really strongly. It's about this. She cannot do this,
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and she's really excited about that. So let's show her
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more reasons why she cannot do this. But when we
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start saying I can and I will, the subconscious says, oh, okay,
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let's show her how, and it starts to introduce opportunities
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for you to see how you can do this and
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how to attract different things into your life that will
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support your goals.
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You talk about creating vision boards, Adam, give this step
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by step. I think back a friend of mine, Marie,
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had this picture on her vision board. She didn't even
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know where it was. It was this painting and it
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was a corridor in a street. She had no idea
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where or anything else. But she was like, someday and
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she went to France with her husband and they were
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in a hotel and opened up the curtain and that
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was the street that they were on. She was like,
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oh my gosh, oh my gosh, this is a real place.
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And there was the store and the little name and everything.
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There was the picture that had been on her vision
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board for years, and she wound up on that street
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in a hotel. Thoughts are things, yea. And I love
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that you show in the book you give steps on
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how to create them, because again, if you can see it,
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you know for some it just looking at it and
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you don't know how it's the whole manifestation. And again,
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thoughts are things. If you think you can't and you
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get excited about it, your mind's going to get excited
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to show you how you can't do something. It's going
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to filter. It's like smiling if you get upset to smile.
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If you smile, Rain immediately goes to a happy place. Yes, period,
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it just does. It doesn't know you're faking a smile.
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It feels it. It sends the energy up. It's an
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amazing thing. What the whole neuroscience when you really get
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into realizing how it is so for that person listening
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as we're wrapping things up and they're feeling stuck, they're
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so overwhelmed, they so doubt that they can do this.
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What is that first bullshift? You want them to make, Marla,
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I want.
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Them to collect evidence of the positive things they've done
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in their past, and keep it. Every comment from a
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client or a customer, every positive thing anyone has ever
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said to them, every success story they have. Start collecting
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and creating an evidence book, and when you doubt yourself,
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you go back to that evidence book. I did this
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in the beginning of my coaching career, and I kept
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every wonderful thing a client would say an email, or
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if they said it in a session, I'd write it
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down and I would go back and I'd say, a
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person who's not capable couldn't achieve this. This is who
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I am. And I would start reteaching myself to believe
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that I am capable. And I'd like to see everybody
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who doubts them self do that.
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I love that. As we're wrapping up, how can people
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reach out to you? And what would you like to
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leave them with?
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I like to let people know that they're not alone.
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Somebody contact me today saying she's losing passion for her
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business because she's so overwhelmed by it now. And that's
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the first thing I said, is you're not alone. I
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hear this story every day. You're not alone. It is
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not you, It is not you, And I'd like to
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talk more to people who believe that about themselves. And
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you can reach me through my website, which is marla com,
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or you can buy the book and you can go
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to Bullshift books dot com to do that.
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All of Marla's links are going to be live. And
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I have to ask you just before we close out,
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what made you decide to put those exercises in the book?
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As you say in the beginning that this really isn't
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a book that you should just sit down and read, right,
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this is a book that you should digest piece by piece.
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Some exercises you may not want to do. You may
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want to do all of them because it's choice. But
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what made you decide to kind of give people it's
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almost episodic as you're reading the book.
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Yeah, I've been coaching entrepreneurs for twenty one years and
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I do it because I love it. I feel no
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greater joy than when a client calls me and says,
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oh my god, guess what I just did. Guess what
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I just did. And I don't know who this book
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is going to reach, and I'll probably never hear most
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of the stories, but I just want to know that
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a part of me is always out there helping people
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to believe in themselves.
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I love it. So all of Marla's links are going
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to be live. I thoroughly encourage you to get bullshift,
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do the exercises, do some of the positive affirmations that
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it talks about, because again that neuroscience, your mind is
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going to believe whatever you tell it, and just remind
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yoursel it's the little red engine. I think I can,
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I think I can. I think you can. You can,
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And even if you don't know how, that's okay, that's okay.
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The how will come when you believe you can. So Marla,
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it's so exciting. I'm so happy to get to see you,
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even though we're here on zoom, you know, and it's
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so fun to see that you have finally taken all
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of the writing that you have done for so many
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places for so long, and now finally wrote your her
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own book. Good for you, Thanks really, congratulations, my pleasure,
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absolutely my pleasure, and for all of you tuning in,
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thanks so much for being here. We're going to close
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out with our fabulous theme song from Smith's Sisters and
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the Sunday Drivers, So till next time. This is Dory
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Di Carlo saying go out and create a marvelous you.
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Bye for now.
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She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she
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is strong, she is true, she is true. She is
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Braize Bray, she is boul, she is she is you,
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she is you, she is you. She is sure, she
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is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true,
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she is true, she is Braise Bray, she is bol
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she is she is you. She is you, she is you,
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she is you. Sure of ourself. Yes, she takes care
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of biz. Powerful and strong. Yes, she knows who she is,
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has integrity, woman, strong and true. You know where by name?
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See this woman is you. She is sure, she is strong,
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is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave,
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she is she is she is you, she is she
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is she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she
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is true, is true, she is brave, she is she,
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she is you, she is you. She adds value and hope,
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has proved to be brave. See it's never too late,
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never time to behave Reaching for dreams doesn't matter. The
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age believes in herself from her cage. She is sure,
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she is she is strong, is strong, she is true,
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is true, she is brave, she is bold, she is you.
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She she is sure, she is strong. She is strong,
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she is true, she is brave, is brave, she is
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she is you.
