Mallory Thomas on The Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo on WoMRadio

0:00 She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, bray, she is she is you. She is she is she is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, is bray, she is she is you. Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio here on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host, Dori Di Carlo, and you know we are here week after week, show after show, breaking those myths at moentrepreneurs and business women, especially those of us building our businesses from home. You know that we're just dabbling in between bake sales and getting our nails done. We're not We are smart, we are savvy, and we are sharing the wisdom of women in business and in life. And I'm looking forward to bringing today's guest into our show. Mallory Thomas is a writer and reader of soft love stories that make you swoon, squeal, and blush. When she's not writing, she can be found picking up after her two kids, joking with her handsome husband, and planning trips to the beach.

1:12 She's also a baby formula expert and content creator. She strives to write books that are better than your phone She hopes the time spent reading her books will leave you happier and more hopeful than time spent on social media. I like that ambition. Thank you. We are spending way too much time on social media. With all that being said, Mallory, welcome to work on radio. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here. I'm thrilled to have you here, and I would love for you to take us on your journey. And I can't wait to find out what a baby formula educator does.

1:54 So really tell us your story, Mallory. Absolutely well. I got started in the baby formula space during COVID about five years ago and really grew a large platform on Instagram around baby formula and baby formula support. I work for Baby Formula Company, and this was all well and good until last May. I guess this was May twenty twenty three. My kindergartener at the time came home from school with a fill in the blank mother's say gift. You know the ones that are like, my mom's favorite food is spaghetti, my mom is eighty seven years old, you know those, And it said my mom is really good at looking at her phone, and it just crushed me.

2:38 And I was like, okay, number one, I have a problem here. But I made my living on my phone, you. Know, as many of us do. And I was like, there, I need to make a change, right, I need to figure out a way that my kids can see me create content and not just consume it. And so that was when I really made the shift from I still do my baby formula stuff on Instagram. I actually have a baby formula book coming out next year, but I started writing fiction again because I wanted my kids to see that I was more than just mom on the phone all the time. So I ended up writing my book somewhere along the line, sort of born out of that desire for my kids to see me do something else other than be on my phone. And now it's just been such a fun experience watching the process and going through the process with my daughter, and she's now my biggest fan.

3:34 Well that's the best. When you have your kids become your biggest fan, that's when you know things are going well. I have to tell you somewhere along the line, I got a chance to read it before today's show. Really get good Stories, Thank you got me, really really got me. When Piper went to the father's house. Yeah, I was a puddle, I know. I didn't. Yes, I didn't set out to write a story that was so poignant. I set out to just write a funny little rom com and it evolved into something with a lot of heart, which I appreciate art.

4:15 It really really wound up tremendous amount of art and stuff that really resonated somebody who I've now lost both parents, my mom a long time ago, but my daddy during COVID and and it's a very strange feeling because you think of orphans as little kids. Yeah. I'll never forget waking up the day after my daddy died and I. Went, yeah, and you just have to keep living. Yeah, it's a weird feeling. And my my I just lost his dad in May, so that's so hard. His mom and it was it's our first time down to here, to all by herself and married sixty something years.

4:58 Oh that's yeah, that's such a challenge. Yeah, and we don't I don't think people realize that the big shift when you lose a life, you know, you lose your spouse. You lose your spouse. When you lose your spouse, did you have spent your entire life with Yeah, you know, most ninety nine percent of your memories are a week. So yeah, that was that was really that was really a very touching, really resonated with me. So I'm going to switch back now because I gotta know what a baby formula educator does.

5:38 Yeah. Yeah, So I had a COVID baby. He's five now, and I, like many moms, had assumed that I would breastfeed. I took all the classes, I read the books, you know whatever, and then not what I know, and it was also a pretty common experience. It did not work as seamlessly as I thought it was going to. And so I was like, you know, if I'm not gonna breastfeed because this is not working for me, it's not working for him, it's not working for. Us, then I'm going to be I'm going to learn. All of the things. I'm going to be the best formula feeder there there is, you know. And so I started looking for resources and they're just weren't a lot. There weren't a lot of resources about formula other than sort of thinly veiled breastfiting pages that said basically.

6:22 Don't do it. Even your formula can says breast is best on the back, and so I did a whole bunch of research myself and I got certified as an infant feeding technician, and I became sort of the de facto formula mom and my group of friends, where I would start getting texts from people that are like, you don't know me, but Emily said, you know about formula. What do you think about you know this one? Or my baby's gassy, which I do. And I realized that there that people beyond me wanted to talk about formula and had questions about formula, and so I started an Instagram platform. It's called the Formula Mom, and it has grown and grown and grown, and I got h hired by a formula company and so now I lead education for them as well as still doing my Instagram work. And it's been a wild journey. It's been a fun journey.

7:17 It's amazing how people guilt you at times. I was a nursing mom and I was one of those people like my having babies. My Lama's coach was like, we should be filming you for Lama's classes, that you're the kind of mom we want to film you know. Oh, I don't know if the baby will nurse and just boom right on. Absolutely not. But when I decided, because I would pump, but I was like, you know what, there's going to be times that I am not going to be here. Something's gonna happen. We won't have milk. I went on a formula study because I never gave my kids anything I didn't taste first, So I've wanted to find the formula tasted the most like me. I think that makes sense, Yeah, you know, and did find one. It was powder. I liked them powder better than the hands. But I will never forget them calling from me from Lala cha because my first son, at six months old, was walking around holding onto furniture and.

8:21 Yeah, he was wild. The earliest you can do anything, That was this kid. And he didn't want a nurse. It was too constricting for him. Yeah, he wanted to be free. Yeah, I'm pumping and putting them in and I'm like, And they actually said to me, well, you know what, just starve him, don't give him anything, and he'll come back to the breast. I said, do me a favor, don't ever flip and call my house. That's wild. I said, say that to somebody I'm a first month now. I had coached in the delivery room four times ago my own I think with kids my whole life, so me, I was not intimidated, but others would have not said their baby anything to force them back to the breast.

9:08 You know what is breast best for you? Here, let me break this to you, mommies, for the first two weeks, as long as they get that colosstrum, you've given them everything you really can. The rest of it is free milk mm hm. So you know what, even though you struggle, you got that beginning part in that's all that mattered. Yeah, that's weird, but they don't tell you this. They make you feel like there's something right, and you know what, there's nothing wrong. Mommies. You do what is best for you and baby. And some women don't want to the breastfeed, and you don't need to. That's why companies are doing everything they can to make them as healthy and to give kids as much of a good start as possible.

9:55 Absolutely, yeah, and it is wild because you know you're not alone in hearing just absolutely unhinged advice from folks who want to keep mom's breastfeeding. And if that's the mom's goal, absolutely, then you know, work with somebody who can help you. But the amount of stuff I hear that people have told moms is truly unhinged. Some of it. I'm like, this is crazy, this is crazy. And we also know too that the best thing for a baby is a mom that is emotionally engaged, that isn't depressed, that isn't dissociated. And so if breastfeeding is making you unable to have a good bond with your baby because it's so stressful or it's so taxing that you can't engage with your baby. I got to a point where it was like my baby would cry and I would just be like filled with anxiety, right because I was like, oh no, he needs to eat again. And so it was like we switched to formula, and then I was able to bond. And that's what they always say, right, like breastfeed, if you breastfeed your baby, all bond. I did not are bonding with that baby till I stop resbating.

11:02 Because then I could just enjoy him. So yeah, it's a it's a wild place to exist on the internet in the center of that discourse, for sure. It truly is. And again you know what bonding with your baby is, folding your baby is looking in their eyes and feeling your heart. Absolutely, yes, just singing doesn't mean they can't be against your chest and feeling your flesh and feeling your heart. It's it's amazing how even in today's world, well especially now in today's world, you know where well, it's like, well, that's your job. My grandson was in intensive care for a week and so because of his bloodshirt. He was actually fine, but his mom had tremendous complications and so she was pumping colostrum.

11:58 And then at that point, I mean they were pick pickline feeding him and everything. It was time for him to try to learn. He couldn't latch. It was just too much. And here's my son. Well, you know it would be much much better if we breastfeed. I was like, oh really, then whip one out. I don't know that we need your hear this. No, you will not make her feel bad, you know, And I kept telling her you gave him the most important part. You know, you pumped until you were completely dropped. That's all you could do. And you did a great job. And he's a good, healthy kid. It's going to be seven, he's great, you know, yes, it really is amazing, even my son, it would be so much better if we did this. Oh really, unless you're become an umbrella and you're in, they're opening your wide. You're just along to the ride, buddy. Serious. But again, these are conversations that I love having because we so have to get out of the closet. Yeah, we so have to make moms.

13:05 Remember you're doing a great job. Yes, absolutely, and. How somebody else does it fabulous, Thanks for the exactience. But this is for me, yes absolutely, and again, and so the work that you are doing as that baby formula educator, really, Malorie, thank you because it's an important thing that you are doing to give me confidence to parent as it works for them. Yeah. Yeah, and really, if you can, if you can develop that muscle when your baby's little with feeding, it serves you all the rest of the time, because everybody's opinions continue as they get older, right about what you're doing right and what you're doing wrong and what you should be and so yeah, learning early on how to parent the way that works for you, the way that works for your baby, the way that makes you a fulfilled and happy and engaged parent like that skill serves you for the rest of your parenthood.

14:04 On that note, think of what Mallory just said. We are going to take a quick break, say thank you to our sponsors, and we'll be back here in just a moment. On Word of Mom Radio. She is brave, she is bold, she is you, and we want to tell your story. Are you ready to share your journey with us on Word of Mom Radio? Go to wordommradio dot com and register as a guest. We want to tell your story because when you win, we all win. In twenty seventeen, Unsilenced Voices was formed to help survivors of domestic abuse and gender based violence worldwide. The organization currently serves Siri Leone, Rwanda, Ghana, and the USA. In twenty twenty two, Unsilenced Voices gifted over thirty three thousand survivors in the USA and in sire Leone. There are over twenty six young girls who have been rescued from sex trafficking and domestic abuse and now going through vocational training school in order to better their lives. We need your help. Donations are critical in order for us to continue our work. We also need volunteers to help with research and development. Please visit Unsilenced Voices dot org for more information.

15:32 And we're back here on Word of Mom Radio. We are talking with Mallory Thomas, who is an author and a baby formula educator, a proud mom, and just somebody who's making a difference. And I love it. I think, thank you. So I want to shift over to somewhere along the line and ask you what got you into writing and what are your goals with this book? So I think, like many writers, as a kid, I had written a lot. I wanted to be a writer. I was always drotting down little stories. And then life gets in the way and you think you need to have a real job, and you know, you've got kids and a spouse and responsibilities, and it just took a back seat, right. And then having the experience of my daughter calling me out for being on my phone too much made me realize that I needed hobbies again, right, you know, in my free time, I was just finding myself scrolling my phone, you know, and sometimes doing work stuff that's fine, and sometimes checking the weather that's fine, But a lot of the time just you know, scrolling the time away, right, And so I really decided that I wanted to find my way back to doing something that at the time was just for me, that let me use the creative outlet and let me just create instead of consume. And so, you know, I think everybody who writes a book starts out thinking it's going to

17:03 be easy enough to write a book, and then once you get into the process, you're like. Wow, actually this is a lot. But I think that sort of naivity was helpful. If I had known what an undertaking is, I'm not sure I would have done it while working full time with two young kids, but I'm glad that I did. And it has just been so meaningful to reconnect with the part of me that's just for me and just creative. And you know, it's not a responsibility, right, So much of what I do in this season of my life is responsibility for work or the family or whatever else. And so it really started fun. And then I was like, you know, there's probably other moms out there that want to figure out how to pull away from their phone for a minute.

17:49 And what better way to do that than with a romcom. Right that gives you, you know, hope and light and some good, tingly warm feelings and so I just I wrote the kind of book that I like to read, with the hope that there might be some other moms out there that might want to read it, and also give their kids the experience of seeing their mom read a book, because that's a win for everybody. So that's sort of how I landed here. I love that, and I think it is really important. I'm a reader, and my daughter is a voracious reader. She puts me to shame. But with my boys, when they were growing up, I looked I didn't care what they read. I got the magazines they liked and whatnot.

18:32 And then one year I bought them kindles for Christmas. And my middle son still has kids never a he's still and he's like, you know, mom, this is probably my favorite gift because anywhere I go. He bought the screen things, so you can read anywhere he goes. He's got books with him. And it's funny. My daughter's like me, I want the page, but I am one of those posts that want to read my guest book. So now I've broken down and it's like very YEAHDF so I can read it on my phone and have it right there no matter where I am. And she finally, because she's my world traveler. She's like, Mom, I broke down and I did it because she would be flying with the box of books.

19:16 And that's heavy. Yes they are. If I find something I really love, I buy that book and I ship at home because I have to have it in book. I do that too. I read a lot of my polies exactly. But yeah, it's like a little prize. It's a little trophy. If I like a book, I'm going to buy it and just have it on the shelf, and then you can loan it to people too. Thank you very much. I feel that way. So I have to ask, why do you think that romance books is a genre really seem to resonate with moms. Is it because we're missing or we're muffeting ourselves? I you know, I think about this a lot.

19:57 I think for me at least, I can't speak to everybody, but for me at least, I am compelled by the fact that I know there's gonna be a happy ending. I feel like so much in our world right now and in parenthood is just you never get a nice clean bow on things right You never know where things are gonna go. There's a lot of anxiety about how things are gonna turn out, or what this is going to look like, or what so and so is going to do. And I think with the romance novel, when you got a guaranteed happy ending, you just don't have that stress. You know, you know, you don't know what the journey is going to look like to get there, but you know you're gonna get it. You know that you don't have to stress about what these characters, how they're going to end up because it's guaranteed. And I think there's just not a lot of guaranteed joy in our world right now, and so for me, I think that's why why Romance novel is stressed me. I also do think there's something I've been married for fourteen years almost at this point you forget, you know, therese butterflies from the early days, and I think there is something fun about reliving that as well.

20:58 I am gonna shift years because I was looking into some things I would love to know about the where is your Somewhere prod yess. Yeah, absolutely so, As I mentioned that, sort of impetus for writing the book was my daughter calling me out on my screen time, and so I wanted to find a way to engage her with this process. Obviously, it's a romance novel, it's a little spicy, it's going to not be appropriate for her for a long time. And so you know, at this point she's eight, So I really wanted to figure out what's a way that I can involve her, that she can feel like she's a part of this. And so what we did is we created this website where is yoursumwhere dot com. Again, the book is somewhere along the line, so basically, where are you reading this book? And it allows readers to log their location of where they're reading. And there's a QR code in the front of the book and it brings you to the website. You can put your city in state or your country and it essentially drops a pin on the little map that shows where people are reading the book.

21:58 And so it's been such a fun project for me and my daughter. We check it every day or every other day and we see where it's popped up. And it's also been a great way. To connect with readers in different places. So we had back in December, we had every continent except Antarctica, right because who's reading books on Antarctica? So I posted about it on threads and someone reached out and they were like, I'm going on. A cruise, a Drake Passage cruise, and we're. Going to stop in the Antarctica at the end of January. Can I bring the book? And I was like yes. So she brought the book and she read it, and she took pictures and she tagged her little pin in Antarctica. And my daughter was so excited because. Now we've got all seven continents represented, and it's just been such a fun way, such a special way to engage with her and to engage with readers and to see where this little sort of story of my heart has has launched. It's been really fun.

22:52 I think that's a fantastic idea. I'm really too, And what a wonderful way to engage your daughter in that process. To being able to journey on with the readers in different places, that's brilliant. Really. Yeah, it's been fun too, because you know, sometimes someone will put a pin and my daughter is like, what's the Philippines And then we you know, we have a whole conversation about that. We pull up a map and we look at pictures. You know, it's almost been sort of a cultural It's been a great cultural conversation as well, as we. Look at these places without a doubt it really is.

23:33 I think that's and this is a great way to start wrapping up this conversation. So as we are closing out, Mellori, what do you want to leave our listeners with and how may they reach out to you? Yeah? Absolutely, oh man. I feel like I could say a million things, but ultimately what I want to leave your listeners with the moms of you know, of the crew, is that it is worth finding a mother who that works for you. And that is true both and how you feed your baby, how you live your life, and also how you spend your free time. And you deserve to have rest. And sometimes you know, for people like me, rest means a good book, means turning my brain off for a while, means setting aside all the noise of the phone. And I want that for your listeners too. And maybe that means reading my book or.

24:22 Reading a book. Maybe that means knitting or gardening or something else. But a mom who spends time doing something. Just for the joy of it, just for the pleasure of it, is. Going to be a better mom for the kids. So that's what I want for your listeners. In terms of where to find me, I'm at the Formula Mom on Instagram if you're interested in formula content, and I'm at Mallory Thomas Underscore Rights if you're interested in the romance content. And yeah, basically on every platform under those two handles. All of Valorie's links are going to be live on Word of Mom Radio. And I'm really going to encourage you to get the book somewhere along the line. It's a good story, it's a fun read, and it's engaging.

25:06 It really is. It's kind of you get wrapped up in these characters. You that was the hope. No, it really it's a good book. I really enjoyed it and I love to read, so and I anything that can show your kids that they can read a book rather than spending their time online and playing video games and things like that is a really good thing to me. And really, where is your Somewhere project? I think that that's a fabulous way to involve your kids in how things are going. So, you know what, authors, it's a great idea out there.

25:52 You know, it's fun, it's easy, it was easy to set up. Yeah, and again you know, and how exciting to connect other readers to each other kind of a thing that you know. Wow, we're all traveling and doing this and doing that. So yes, nice job. Thank you, and thank you for the opportunity to come chat with you this morning. This has been lovely. Oh right back at you. It was a great way to start our recording day. Absolutely, and for all of you tuning in, thank you so much for being here. We're gonna close out with our fabulous theme song from Smith's Sisters and the Sunday Drivers. So till next time, This is Dori di Carlo saying, go out and create a marvelous you. Bye for now.

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