Laura Watson on The Coaching Corner with Dori DeCarlo

0:00 She is sure, she is true, she is straw is straw, she is true, is true. She is praise, pray, she is plese, she is you. Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio Here on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host, Dori Di Carlo, and you know we are here week after week, show after show, breaking those myths the morepreneurs and businesswomen, especially those of us building our businesses from home, that we're just dabbling in between bake sales and getting our nails done. We're not. We are smart, we are savvy, and we are sharing the wisdom of women in business and in life. And I look forward to bringing today's guest into our coaching corner. Laura Watson has spent the last thirty years dedicated to helping individuals reach their full potential.

0:50 She is an award winning coach, a devoted wife and mother, and a world country dance champion. Her secret sauce lies and translating complex business leadership and communication concepts into practical ideas and actionable steps. As a whole person coach, Laura recognizes that business leaders face personal challenges as well. She addresses both professional and personal issues often transitioning from business discussions to topics like addiction, parenting, and infidelity in a single session. So I keep sharing about what Laura does, but so much better to bring her in. So, with all that being said, Laura, welcome to Word of Mom Radio.

1:38 Hello Dory, it's great to be here today. Thanks for having me. Oh, it's my pleasure, and I would love for you to take us on your journey that led you to coaching and all of the things that you're doing, and then we'll talk about some world championship. Yeah. Well, it's then quite a journey over the years. You know, it all really began because I've always been passionate about helping people. I grew up. My parents were great role models for that. They were always in service, and that's really where it started. I got in. It started in the nonprofit arena, actually, because I got a master's in social work and I started in the counseling arena.

2:27 So I started in the trenches doing child welfare work and documenting bruises, having to take parents to court unfortunately, dealing with adolescent addictions and community crisis intervention, all really fascinating work and important work to do. But then I got to a place in my career where my children. It got a little tougher once I had my own kids, and then my kids were going in full time school, and I started to evaluate, how else can I help, Where else can I make a difference? And so I actually hired a career coach and I worked with that person for a little while to help me gain some insight and explore some options. And that's when I discovered business and leadership coaching. And it was a natural transition of the skills I already had, and my husband had his first business at the time, and it really fascinated me about helping, you know, business owners get they're dealing with so much. You know, there's a lot to deal with in life itself, and then you add building a business on top of that and needing to make a profit and needing to lead other people, and it just takes our personal and professional development journey to a whole new level. So that's when I decided, yeah, you know what,

3:58 this is really what I want to say, specialize in. And so I got some coach specific training so I could dive into this arena. I worked with another business coach at the time. We collaborated and that's really how I dove into this area, and it's been fascinating. I really love being able to coach people on both sides of what I call the business building coin, because there's the leadership and the business side of things and building a business effectively, and then there's the other side of the coin, which is our personal development and our relationships with our spouse, our kids, and ourselves personally. So that's kind of that's how this all came to be, and here we are, like twenty five years later.

4:50 I have to ask, how did you mind wind up weaving ballroom and country dancing into Oh did that become such a passion for you? Well, it's definitely a passion and dance with something I kind of always wanted to do but never had a chance. I did not grow up dancing at all. It was not something that was really available in the small town I grew up in. So I would go to the high school dances, you know, and do the booty shaking like everybody else does, and just you know, loved the sense of movement, but never really had a chance to pursue it. And then of course you get married and you have kids, and your life is busy that way.

5:30 My husband has zero interest in dancing, so and I just started got to a place in my life where it's like, you know what, this has always kind of been on the back burner. It's something I really want to do. I'm in my forties now. If I'm going to do it, i'd better do it. And my husband was super support portive. He said, you know what, if you want to pursue this, and pursue it. So I'm like, okay, I did, And so you know, I've been dancing now for about twelve thirteen years. Got into ballroom originally, absolutely loved it. Then a friend asked me if I would try country dancing, and so I got into that with him.

6:11 I've always done it competitive competitively as a reason to keep improving and getting better, and it worked because you know, in twenty twenty three, my friend and I actually won a world championship, so that was pretty cool. That's amazing as somebody. I did theater professionally my whole life, and my father ran dale dance studios well before the other ones happened. I used to love dancing with my daddy because it was magic on the dance floor. So I love it, and it's so funny because I am not a country music fan, but I love country dancing.

6:51 I really do mind it. I love I love all of it. And then of course Freda Stare Ginger Rogers, I mean, you just there's something so elegant and. Exactly is to me. It lends itself to somebody who's approached because you have to be able to work in conjunction with the person that you're with. You know, absolute thing. You have to work in conjunction with the people that you're working with as opposed to being adversarial, because then it's not going to work. And so yeah, it's a partnership right without it, and that's very I don't consider myself my clients coach, per se.

7:34 I consider myself their partner. I get engaged with them and their business. I want obviously the best for them. I want them to be the best that it can be personally and professionally, and so I really consider myself their partner. And you know, just like in the dance world, amazing partnerships. And I formed a bit of a dance family because we travel together and we do all these things together. My clients are my business family, and I really create that kind of connection with people because I'm there not just for the coaching session. If they need to chat with me between sessions, They're always welcome to reach out because I see it as building their business together.

8:17 Without a doubt. And in looking at that, and I can see what you love about coaching. How is it for you when you step into that leadership coaching? You know, because you have those different levels and you know, as a leadership coach, totally what a shift? Well, leadership coaching, I mean yeah, business coaching tends to involve helping people like with their business plans and strategy and develop that sort and that is still present in leadership, but leadership go dies even deeper. It's really about how are you showing up? Who are you being as a person as a leader, And it's really about tapping into your authenticity. You know, Leadership has often been viewed as a title. I'm the owner, I'm the manager, I'm the boss, and it kind of comes with this perception of having to make people do things to a degree, and that's really not effective leadership. Leadership is about role modeling. It's about going first and inspiring people to want to follow you, not following you because there's a paycheck attached. So it's really about enrollment, inspiration, having a vision, and then showing

9:49 up being the best version of yourself, which is difficult when you've got stress going on. You've got the stress of your clients demanding things from you, you've got the stress of your team demanding things from you, your kids at home still needing you, your spouse needing you, having to write those paychecks and pay the bills. There's a lot of stress involved, and it can be difficult to show up at your best. So leadership really is about learning how to be the best version of yourself in stressful situations, and also learning how to coach others to do the same, because again, leadership is not just about telling people what to do. It's really if you can show up in your leadership and actually learn how to coach others to become the best that they can be.

10:46 That's when the whole business moves forward. Does that make really? I like the way you're phrasing it insofar as how you are showing up as a leader. It's interesting. We have a show does a show with us on Word of Mom Radio called Ask Mom Parenting talking about how everything we learned as parents is wrong because we read parenting books about how to change our kids, and it's really yourself well chewing up as a parent m And it's amazing because when you say that, it's, oh, you know, because if your kid's lying, it's because you haven't created an atmosphere where they feel like they can tell the truth. It's the same thing at works as a leader. If you've got somebody you know as somebody who I started in multi level marketing, which I'm a huge fan of, and one of the first things you learn is problems go up and good news goes down.

11:45 So you talk to when you've got a problem, you go to the people higher than you, and when you're the boss, then you go to your coach. You don't take your problems and put them down on your vps and stuff like that or your down lines. Very often people forget that. It's like, hey, the goodness, you want to excite everybody you're working with. They don't need to know how you make the secret sauce, you know. That's that's why you work with a coach. That's why you work with accountability people and things like that, because in creating that sense of calmness in your team that everything's going to move forward and our the boss knows what's going on. It really is how you show up. So it's kind of well.

12:33 Exactly and the adage is true, it can be lonely at the top, right, So as you do as an owner, as a leader, you have to show up and be your best for your team. But who gets to take care of you? You know, our spouses often don't understand the situation. Our friends often, our business owners, they don't get it the same way. Uh so owners leaders, they need support and so yes, it can be hard to find a peer group. Or you go to a networking event, but everyone's at the networking event, you know, trying to put the brave face on and say everything's great. Who do you get to really share what's real and think through how to deal with what you're dealing with. That's, in my opinion, that's a huge role for a coach.

13:24 On that note, think of what Laura just said. We're going to take a quick break, say thank you to our supporters, and we'll be back here in just a moment. On Word of Mom Radio, she is brave, she is bold, she is you and We want to tell your story. Are you ready to share your journey with us on Word of Mom Radio. Go to wordommradio dot com and register as a guest. We want to tell your story because when you win, we all win. In twenty seventeen, in Silent Voices was formed to help survivors of domestic abuse and gender based violence worldwide. The organization currently serves sierri Leone, Rwanda, Ghana, and the USA.

14:14 In twenty twenty two, Unsilenced Voices gifted over thirty three thousand dollars to survivors in the USA and in siri Leone. There are over twenty six young girls who have been rescued from sex trafficking and domestic abuse and now going through vocational training school in order to better their lives. We need your help. Donations are critical in order for us to continue our work. We also need volunteers to help with research and development. Please visit Unsilenced Voices dot org for more information. And we're back here on Word of Mom Radio. We are talking with Laura Watson, who is the founder of Venture Coaching and really talking about how you show up as a leader and then, let's face it, the leader's got to have somebody to talk to, because sometimes you go on the ledge, you know sometimes, and sometimes you just need that reinforcement from your coach that, man, you're doing it great. You're doing a great job because you are the person that they are looking up to to help home the thing. So for you yourself as a business owner, what was your biggest challenge in building your business?

15:38 Oh, my gosh, great question. So my biggest challenge in the beginning, and boy did I wrestle with this was learning how to sell. Actually, because I came out of the nonprofit arena as in the counseling arena, and my clients are handed to me, and so as I transitioned in the coaching I had to go out and find my own clients. And I had all this messed up thoughts and limiting beliefs and perception about what selling was. I thought it was slimy. I didn't like it. I thought I had to it was pushy. I thought I had to prove myself. And in my coach training, we were trained, oh, just provide an amazing coaching session, people will automatically see the value and automatically sign up. Well, that didn't happen. I had people. I was doing the free sessions and people were saying, oh my god, that was life changing. And I was expecting, great, they're going to sign the contract, but they're like, oh, yeah, no, but thanks. Anyways, it was great and so like wow.

16:48 So I really struggled, and I struggled until I discovered a book that my husband recommended actually called Spin Selling, and spin is an acronym. If anyone wants to develop their sales conversation, I recommend reading that book. But what I had to learn was that selling was not about pushing or convincing people. Selling is a helping conversation, and just like all my other work, I really needed to just ask questions about and I just needed to understand what's going on in this person's world, what's happening for them, and what's going to happen if they don't solve the problem.

17:32 And then once I started asking those questions, and then I could help them understand, Okay, you know what, if we have these coaching conversations, I'm going to be able to help you move from where you are now to where you want to be tomorrow. And that's when we started to bridge that gap of understanding between how coaching is a conversation that helps people get where they want to go faster. And so when I was able to bridge that gap with people, that's when everything changed for me. That's when my roster got fuller and I was really away to the races. But it was all about me needing to shift my headspace and my understanding about the conversation.

18:19 That's what made the difference. You've broadened your skills and you're certified in parent effectiveness training. Do you find every once in a while it translates to the adults you're working with. Oh, every day, curious every day. You said that there's no parent Earlier in our conversation today, you said there's no parenting book. We tend to parent the way we were parented, And that's absolutely true. And when my kids were young, yeah, I started I heard things coming out of my mouth that were like, oh my gosh, that's my father speaking and that's not who I want to be. And it was really serendipitous actually, because my husband, like I said, he had his first business and he was working with a coach. He came home one day and said, my coach told me I'm not a very good listener.

19:08 I'm like really, he says, yeah, my coach wants me to get this book called Leader Effectiveness Training. So I went on the hunt. I found Leader Effectedness Training, I found Parent Effectiveness Training. Read the book and I was like, oh my gosh, this is so powerful because it's all about communication. It's all about how do we communicate with people more effectively, in particular with our kids, but also with our employees, with our spouses. So yes, like a week after I read the book, I was in the training program to get certified, and I use that material absolutely every day because it's it's not just about what to do different, it's about how how do you communicate?

20:02 How do you listen? Everyone says well I got to listen more, Well, how do you do that? And that's another thing I'm really passionate about is helping people bridge theory to practice and so pet led Those are materials that have been around for decades, but they really teach how to do implement those skills. And yes, absolutely I use them every day in my coaching sessions with my clients because they're talking to their spouses, they're talking to their team, they're needing to delegate more effectively and all of those skills come into play. How do you help that translate into how you listen? Because very often people listen to respond exactly to listen to what is being said and actually hearing it. And I always like to say it back to me, paraphrase it, or when they paraphrase it, you really hear. It's like, well, that's not what I said, that's what you've heard. And it's very interesting how you can say one thing and somebody's hearing a completely different conversation. How do you absolutely, how do you bridge that? How do you find that that that the pet comes in with that, Oh.

21:22 It's just it's it teaches all about that. And so you were just talking about we often listen to respond, and Stephen Covey said it best when he says listen to understand. So that's the foundational principle. First we have to realize and embrace I'm listening to understand. Then how do you do that? Exactly what you were just talking about. It's an active listening process because people when they're listening to respond, they're also listening through their filters. They're listening through their stories and how they view the world, and so what the communication is coming through their filters, They're making assumptions, and then they're responding based on those filters and assumptions. Active listening is a process of turning all that off and really being present to the other person and listening to understand. How we do that is by paraphrasing the other person, well, I think I just heard this, or I think based on what you just said, this is my understanding blah blah blah. Is that correct? And then the person speaking gets say, yep, you got it, you understand or not, and then they have another opportunity to clarify their original intention because and I find that

22:53 that happens all the time they create. There's misunderstandings present in the workplace all the time time, which then leads to frustration. It leads to time wasted because people run off and do projects the wrong way, and then that has to get Redone time is money. So the implications of not listening effectively, not communicating effectively are huge. Do you have been talking about all Do you have a favorite client story as obsess story that you just look back and go, God, great.

23:37 I do you know I have a gentleman I'm still working with him. We've been working together probably three years now. And when we first started, he reached out originally because it was kind of a last ditch effort for himself and his business. He's been in his business for a number of years. He's in it and he's not a mom necessarily, but he is a dad, and you know, dads have very similar issues to mom too. And yeah, he was about to walk away from his business and called me in an lastedch effort to make things better. And so we worked on those filters and those assumptions, that mindset stuff that I was just talking about. We worked on his communication skills with his family, with his one team member. We worked on business planning and execution together.

24:32 Now three years later, he's got a team of five, he's got more revenue in his business than he's ever had. He's killing it. He's got an awesome team in place. We're building, we are all building the business together. And now he's talking about setting up for He's always wanted to go to England and live in England, so now he's talking about setting up a branch office in London. So it's just so exciting. In three years, take him from feeling hopeless and wanting to give up to now having a fantastic team in place and going off and building a branch office. So I consider that a pretty cool success story.

25:13 That's a pretty cool success story considering now he's going international. So yes, as we wrap up, because it's a great way to close out this conversation, what do you want to leave our listeners with, Laura, and how may they reach out to you? So yeah, I invite your listeners to get help. Building a business is hard and we can't do it alone. We need a business family around us. So because we get stuck in our own mindset, we get stuck in limiting perspective and we can't know it all. That's why we need to have people around us to help us go faster. So get help, get mentorship, hire a coach, do whatever it takes so that you don't have to do it alone. It's too stressful to be carrying the load all by yourself, and you know whether it would be me or somebody else, Just get help. If people do want some tools and strategies, they're welcome to go to my website, which is Venture Coaching dot CAA and there's a free stuff page there there's a bunch of free ebooks that they can download that are going to help them from everything from business planning to the communications stuff that we were talking about, to giving people feedback more effectively, and some sales and marketing stuff. There's lots of free resources there, and of course I'm always happy to have a conversation with people. So that's what I'd

26:44 like to encourage people to do today is don't do it alone. Build a business family around you so that you can move forward faster. Thank you so much, Laura. I love what you just said. I really do, and I feeling all of your's ways are going to be live on Bord of Mom Radio. I encourage you to reach out because you know you were talking about mindset. When you flip that mindset switch, everything changes. It's absolutely how everything changes in that way. You can have your business plan, you can have everything, but flipping that switch, going from listening to respond to listening to understand that in a nutshell is such a game changer as a leader, as a friend, as a partner, whatever.

27:37 So talk about getting out there and making your best self. Laura, thank you so much for taking the time to come and share with us today. I really appreciate it. Oh my pleasure, Dory. Hopefully we're giving you the listeners some value today. And thanks so much for having me. Oh I think you have. And for all of you tuning in, thanks so much for being here. We're going to close out with our fabulous theme song from Smith's Sisters and the Sunday Drivers. So till next time, This is Dory de Carlos saying, go out and create a marvelous youth. Bye for now. She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, she is true. She is Braise Bray, she is boul. She is you.

28:21 She is you. She is she is she is sure, she is sure. She is strong, she is strong, she is true, she is true. She is brave, she is bold, she is she is you. Is you? She is you. She is sure of herself. Yeah, she takes care of his Powerful and strong. Yes, she knows who she is has integrity, woman, strong and true. You know her by name. See this woman is you. She is sure, she is she is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is braiz Bray, she is boul, she is she is you. She is she is she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, she is she is, she is you, she is you. She is adds value and hope. Has proved to be brave. See it's never too late, never time to behave Reaching for dreams doesn't matter.

29:23 The age believes in herself, unleashed from her cage. She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, brave, she is she is you. She is she is she. She is sure, she is true. She is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, is brave, she is she is you.