Felicia Hurd Johnson on The Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo

0:00 She is sure, she is straw is straw, She is true, is true, she is praise, pray, she is please, she is you. Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio. Here on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host, Dori Di Carlo, and you know we are here week after week, show after show, breaking those myths that mompreneurs and business women, especially those of us building our businesses from home, that we're just dabbling in between bake sales and getting our nails done. We're not. We are smart, we are savvy, and we are sharing the wisdom of women in business and in life. And I look forward to introducing you to our new guest in the author's Alley. Felicia Hird Johnson is a speaker and a self published author. She wrote her first book titled Count It All Joined, including the Broken Pieces How My Trials Help Me Trust God More, which highlights how God brought her through the highs and lows of breast cancer, job loss, job gain, marriage, and divorce.

1:07 Through it all, Felicia has kept her faith and the challenges made her better, not bitter. Felicia shared her testimony on Texas Today and NBC and thanks to God. So with all that being said, Felicia, welcome to a Word of Mom Radio. Thank you so much, thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here. Dory, Oh, I'm looking forward to sharing you and I would love for you to take us on your journey that you share in the book. Okay, and that led you to writing it. Well, I've always wanted to write a book for a long time. That it had been in my heart to write a book. But who has the time right? But I did journal, and so during the pandemic, this was a pandemic project. I figured that God had set us down, and so I wanted to come out of the pandemic have producing something that glorifies Him. And so the book counted out join including the broken pieces and how my trials helped me trust God more. And it's based off of James One where James remind the people that even through trials and tribulations, we still have to keep the faith.

2:11 And so I'm just deeply rooted in my faith. I haven't always been. It's been a growth process, but I've matured in my faith. So I gathered all of my journals and I just started to write. And that's how the book became to what it is now. So I wanted to make sure that I captured how I was obedient and how I was disobedient to God and all of Him. And sometimes I didn't, but I learned through the process, and I've had an opportunity to share, as you mentioned earlier on NBC five, had an opportunity to share my testimony, and then I've also walked with women that have gone through what I have gone through, because I don't believe that what I've gone through was just for myself. It's for other people to see a real life person, you know, walk through it and still be able to smile and have a testimony and want to be able to share. So I'd like to give back and share with other women that are going through what I've gone through. There's been opportunities that leaders in my church have asked me to walk alongside a woman that has going through something. So I also have the opportunity to speak at women's conferences and share with them about my life, ass going through breast cancer, going through divorce, and happily remarried recently to Anthony Johnson. So life has been, like you said, highs and lows. But I think the loads that I had has set me up to be on a high and I am really in a good place.

3:36 Even though it was difficult and hard and dark, I couldn't stay there. I know and knew that God had better for me and I would eventually come out and be able to share what He has done for me. Awesome for me. I got divorce back in nineteen ninety four. My children's father and I were in counseling on and off for five and a half years. Of the seven and a half years we were married, three kids got pregnant. For my after we got married, he was nine months old, got pregnant, you know, all three on birth control. It was just a crazy thing. But we went through mediation. We sat down and separation agreement ourselves, had it notarized because in New York it had to be legally separated for a year, and then took it to a mediator and we were done in two hours. And the guy said, you know, in my professional opinion, this is a very unorthodox agreement. I said, you know what, it's your job to make it legal. It's our job to make it work.

4:31 And never slept, putting up the room our three kids. My children's dad just passed. It was a year ago in October at all that our kids were there. I was there, you know. I mean I always joked that we were very successfully divorced and raised our three kids, our two grandchildren. And you know, it doesn't have to be by ugly and mean. And that's one of the things that your book shows that you go you know, you guys had to go through me because you couldn't really reach an agreement. And that's see, it's so funny. I think that that's what lawyers do. They make sure you can't. They may fight over things that you want to fight about as opposed to just sitting down yourselves and deciding what you're going to do and how you're going to end this relationship and move forward. So I really, yes, totally identified with so much in your book. I really did.

5:25 So. I know now you are out speaking, you are connecting with women all over in faith based work and things. But I would love for you to talk about that and how you're working with women experiencing all these different challenges that you go through and working with them to help them count it all joy. Yes, I like to speak positive and truth and to people sometimes when you're going through dark things, you can't see the light. And I try to be the light for them and let them know, and you know, real talk that it is difficult, in is hard, but they can get through it. So individuals will call me.

6:06 No. I got a phone call a few weeks ago from a close friend that I hadn't talked to in three or four years, because I remember your book, I'm going through a divorce. Can you give me some tips? And I encouraged her to pray and stay with her husband if you know, if there weren't any violent or anything like that going on, if I'd stay if the situation is safe to stay in. And it was, and so they went to counseling and they prayed and they're working it out. And I talked to her last week I think it was, and they were celebrating his birthday in New Orleans. And not that I take credit for that. God gets all the glory, but I was able to walk walk with her through that because I've had women when I was going through my challenges that walked with me, that were patient with me and stood with me and cried with me. But they spoke life into my situation, so I guess it was and ire at a new church now, and I had an opportunity since Chapel, I had an opportunity to attend the women's conference earlier this year and had great response. I talked about how even I had difficulties on my job, even through those difficulties, I just pasted and prayed, and people recognized the difference.

7:21 The environment didn't change, but I changed and people recognized that change in me, and it got better eventually, but it took some time. I had to dig deep and saying. When I was going through the divorce and my husband at the time said something and I responded in kind, and he recognized that my countenance had changed, and I was like, it's all God. I can't take credit for this. I'm just following what God has told me to do. It told us to do. The words are in the Bible. We just have to find those words for ourselves and dig in there deep and hang on to the words and get in the community. It's been in Isolation is not something that it's conducive as you're going through it's I were in community and we're meant to be together.

8:08 I know that we were isolated through the pandemic. But we're out now, everybody, we're out, So we need to get out and socialize and find our people, if you will. And that takes a little bit of getting out of your comfort zone. Because for me, I'm an introvert, but I enjoy what I do and I enjoy what God has put in me and I want to share it. So I am out of my comfort zone. But it feels good. It's a little bit frightening at times, but I'm excited for it because I see the light that I'm able to shine on other people and have them talk about and share their testimony. We don't talk about our broken pieces, we don't talk about the hard times.

8:53 Everybody see us. I'll put together, you know, with our make up on, and we're all dressed, but there's real life behind me, the makeup and the hair and the lashes. You know, It's like there's real life going on. And to be able to identify with women that have real lives and want to share and there is no shame because we're all going through we're all going through something. And several other groups that I've been able to participate in, we have real vulnerable conversations and those conversations stay within that group, and that I want to have people to have a safe but you don't want the telephone game. You know, everybody knowing what's going on. It's like it's personal to you. So as people are sharing things with me, I just assume that it's personal. I don't share. So if you want to share, that's fine, but I will not share what you've shared with me. And adultedly I will, but I will not you know, put a name to what was shared. And when I do share, it's to help someone else, not to bring shame or share other people's business. That's not what I That's not what I do gaining the trust of people and I want them to be able to trust me because we're an environment we have been for a while where people are not always trustworthy, and so I liked safe spaces and I want to create that. And there was a period where we were having Bible study at school at church, but it was the summers that we were taking a break

10:24 and we were so involved in our Bible study. We didn't want it to end. I didn't want it to end. And this was during the period I was going through the divorce I think the divorce was about final and I wanted to keep it going. So I was checking out Starbucks and libraries. I think, where are we going to host our Bible study? I was trying to find the place, and then God reminded me that I had a house that he had provided that we could have Bible studies. So we finished out our Bible studies here in my family room, and so it was very comfortable and inviting, and it was very life changing. We had a lot of good breakthroughs in that Bible study that I will forever be thankful for. You spoke about the shame and things like that, because I think a lot of times people feel when they get divorced it's such a defeat and everything. And for me, it was the most Christian thing I did, because I didn't want my children to think that this is what marriage is. We just didn't bring out the best in each other, and sadly, we didn't even have a strong enough friendship, because a lot of times that's what holds you together through those ebbs and flows. It's the friendship that foundation. And sadly, and it's funny because we tried to get back together seven years or so after we got divorced. Our kids were six, four and two when we got divorced, so now they seven years on each one of them, and all three of them were like, Okay, now we understand why we're divorced. You guys work better

11:55 into separate. Yeah. Now both my boys are I have grandchildren, and I just I thank God every day that all of my kids have found the meat that really is their lifelong partner because their worships are so solid and then everything else has built on top of that. And I think that that's one of the things that I meaned from your book was that foundation for some people. I mean, everybody has their own belief systems. For me, I'm a Christian woman. And it's funny because, through the pandemic and just through everything going on politically, my whole grip on Christianity for me, I mean poor Jesus. I mean, if they think I'm a liberal, what happens when they meet Jesus.

12:48 It just tells you to. Love it absolutely, period. Right, this is it. So that's where I think, And it's funny because I have kind of rooted I found this wonderful place where it's based in Christianity. It has a little of Buddha and things like that, and it's all about the joy, so that you know, counted all joy. For me, I love that title because I'm just an ancy. I wake up, my first thought is thanking God that I woke up for my blessings. My last thought before I go to bit and thank you God for just the blessings of today, good days, bad days, and everything indifferent, you know. And it's wherever. Yes, I do think that often that faith, just the belief in something higher than yourself, can really write things that you just don't know how you're going to get to tomorrow.

13:41 Absolutely absolutely, Even with the job lost the story, it's like the little jobs that I was hanging on too that I wanted so bad and you know, ended up losing them, having do the layoffs or other situations. It's like I ended up getting a better job, you know, the one that I was with for twenty something years. When I lost that job, I was able to take for a year and spend time with my family. And it's like I was able to gain more than I lost. And that's what I've been seeing so things that and as if as I'm going through life now, if something doesn't turn out the way that I think it should, I say, Okay, something better is coming. Something better is coming, so I don't miss what I didn't have, or as before I would miss what I what I didn't have.

14:29 So yeah, I'm in a good place. I'm in a really good place. I'm thankful to God for being patient with me, and I'm thankful to be able to share with you and your audience and other women that are that are going through because we all need somebody. Again, like I said earlier, we're meant to be in community. We're not designed to be in an isolation. But I think people are in isolation because we don't trust. And so if I can gain the trust of someone, it's like I want to preserve that because once i'm your friend and I'm loyal to you, i'm your friend. On that note, speak of what Felicia just said. We're going to take a quick break to say thank you to the people who support us. I will be back here in just a moment. On Word of Mom.

15:20 Radio, she is brave, she is bold, she is you, and we want to tell your story. Are you ready to share your journey with us? On Word of Mom Radio, go to wordomomradio dot com and register as a guest. We want to tell your story, because when you win, we all win. In twenty seventeen, Unsilenced Voices was formed to help survivors of domestic abuse and gender based violence worldwide. The organization currently serves Siri Leone, Rwanda, Ghana, and the USA. In twenty twenty two, Silenced Voices gifted over thirty three thousand dollars to survivors in the USA and in sire Leone.

16:06 There are over twenty six young girls who have been rescued from sex trafficking and domestic abuse and now going through vocational training school in order to better their lives. We need your help. Donations are critical in order for us to continue our work. We also need volunteers to help with research and development. Please visit Unsilenced Voices dot org for more information. And we're back here on Word of Mom Radio. We are talking with Felicia for Johnson about her book Count It All Joy, including the Broken Pieces How My Trials Help Me Trust God More. I love what you said about French and that first friend has to be you with yourself. My mommy always said you are your own best friend. You could never have a friend a real true friendship. Part of that friendship is something that I have learned is not staying in places where you don't belong, where your heart is telling you get out, but your head society blah blah blah. That is not being a friend to yourself, compromising who you are and what makes you happy. Then you're not giving your best self. You're not bringing out your light. Mary Ann Williams. When you shine your light, you give others permission to shine theirs.

17:39 And that's another thing that I grabbed from your book, just that finding that power within you and what it has done for you. So when you think about that, do you have something where you really look and you just feel so proud of. You know, right now, I'm really proud that my mom had an opportunity to see them before she passed a couple of years ago. I think that's my proudest moment, as well as getting remarried and my daughter Rachel, through it all, she's been able to keep the faith. And so as a mom and as a daughter as like those are and a wife, those are, you know, the pretty high honors to hold. And so when you can do that successfully I feel truly blessed that. So those are the things that I really really hold dear and near to my heart.

18:41 In your work, I know you do a lot of meetings. You do group meetings, you do individual meetings. How do you do them? And what do you really want people to gain from being with you in communion like that? I want them to be able to gain trust and I want them to be able to see how God can bring them through. I am just the vessel, I am the voice, but God is the ultimate person that can get them to where they're trying to go. So that's my goal, is to walk with them and guide them along the way. And so just in doing that at their pace, not in my own. And I pray about it because I don't want to impart my beliefs or I don't want to impart my opinion. That's what I don't want to impart my opinion upon them. So what I will do would share my experience as to how I got through whatever I went through. But I want them to see and grow closer to God and study their word for themselves so that they could have what I have and what I am continuing to have.

19:52 I have not arrived yet I'm still growing in God, so I want but I know that there's more for me, and so I'm just patiently waiting and seeking opportunities that He is directing me to. And I was, you know, he directed me to your podcast, So I'm just thankful. I was so thankful and surprised when I got the thumbs up about being a part of the podcast. That was really inspiring, and my daughter and my husband to text, so look, I'm kind of young Word of Mom radio and they were excited for me. So I have I haven't shared it with all of my family yet. As my daughter says, you know, as we're progressing, sometimes you have to move in silence, and so I'm moving a little bit in silence now. I want it to be directed by God and not by something that I've created.

20:42 So I am be excited to share the podcast with them at the appropriate time. But yeah, I just want people to see God in all of this, even this chaotic world. And I have created, you know, my own little environment where I can stay grounded and root it even with all the chaos that's on around us, because that's what we're taught to do, that's what you know, the word says, and so I want to be more obedient now that I was in my earlier years, when I was less mature in Christ. I think that as we get older, we have more opportunity for that because life has taught yes, you know, patience I learned in a long time ago was that it's in God's time, not mine. For the universe again whatever, because when you think about you know, we think in a linear manner, and life does not work in a linear manner. I don't know if you ever saw the show The Good Place, which is just such an unbelievable show about dying and people who are dead now learning moral philosophy and how to be better people even though they're already gone kind of thing. And they talk about life being jeremy beary me, because that's what the lifeline looks like. It's kind of incursive. It comes out Jeremy bear me because it's just hooks and low. You know,

22:15 changing is all over the place. But I do think as we gain years, and I don't know if it's wisdom or acceptance or understanding that the life world doesn't revolve around us, even though in our own world it has to, you know, especially as a mom, Let's face you, if your nucleus isn't going nothing around you is, it's all going to bank off you. You have to center yourself, especially as I said, as a mom, you know, when you have a child and children and bay and everything else. You have to be within yourself and then you can help other people that when you're a piece with yourself.

22:58 Nobody can drag you into the storm. You can help them with a life draft to get out of theirs, but they can't drag you in when you have the strength. So for you, because you shared so many difficult tones that you went through in your book, those who haven't read it yet and they are going to be inspired to talk to us about how you got through some of the you know, breast cancer, all the things that you've got through, you know, divorce, getting remarried, which isn't in the book because this happened afterwards. And I love that, but you know, just yeah, that journey.

23:39 Let me sure that you were talking about earlier, the mediator going through the divorce, and I have a chapter in the book called the Great Mediator. And on the day that I had mediation, it was a day that we were having a Bible study here at the house. And I wanted to cancel the Bible study. I really did, and I was trying to keep faith and keep so I asked the other women if they would host the Bible study at their place, and everybody was busy. Somebody said they weren't ready to quip. So it's like, okay, fine, So we were still on track to attend have the Bible study here at my house, and I attended the mediation. I prayed about it my husband. At the time we met, we were cordial and we couldn't come to terms because we just couldn't come to terms with the distribution of the assets. But I just kept trusting God that he was going to take care of us. And the mediator was very nice to us. Our attorneys were very nice to me, and everybody understood. But at the end of the day it turned out in my favor and Rachel and I gained more than what we lost. And so the Bible study started seven and the mediation we were just ended three, but it went on to probably about five verse six, and I asked my turn to go, are we almost done? I got Bible study and she chuckled, and she's like where, and I said, up my house, and she's like, I don't know how long this is going to be, because we were going back and forth

25:10 for hours and we finished in time. When I called the group and let them know that, you know, Bible study was still on. I've left the mediation and as I was coming in the garage, they were coming. They were at the front door, coming in and we had our Bible study and I shared with them how God had provided us with a house or we continue to have our Bible study. And the praises that erupted and we were just so thankful. And those group of women walked with me as I was going through. Some of them had had losses of their own through a divorce or through death. But it's like God, I stayed truth, I kept the faith, and He provided us with the place to continue our Bible study. But my flesh wanted to cancel it because I didn't know how it was going to how it was gonna turn out. And here I am sitting in the house that God has given us more Bible studies to come here, So I'm excited about that. So yeah, and there was another Rachel wasn't a play at church and I would take her to her place and there was one of the casting directors.

26:24 They were having a table read and somebody was out, so I read in the place of the person and then she called me, Lady, She goes, do you want to be in this? I go no, It's like my plate was fool. My job was to I was the driver. My job was to get Rachel to her to her lessons of rehearsals. It's like I didn't want any part of that. But I ended up being in the play and it was very liberating. I was outside my comfort zone. But I called that chapter of the Hidden Figures because I didn't know that I could do that with all that I was going through. And Miss Jennifer saw that she had a need, but she saw that I could do it and gave me that opportunity. So yes, I was in the Christmas Place, which was really really fun. I enjoyed it. But yeah, God has a way of putting me in places and spaces, and I've got to recognize that.

27:19 And I'm starting to and have been recognize those opportunities as growth moments and be able to share with others. So I can't very well be shy and hide in the background. If I want my daughter Rachel to be out there in the forefront and blazing her own trail following God. So I've got to demonstrate it what I want her, what i want her to do. And then as I'm doing that, I'm modeling it for other women that may not have it in their life or had it or wanted. So I was telling one of the ladies at church the other day, Miss Rita, It's like, now that I've become an older woman, we're taught to teach the younger women. Want to do something like that too in the future, to help the younger women that are going through challenges and maybe teach teach them some lessons that they don't that I have learned or we have learned this older women so that they don't have to go through uh that experience. But experience is the best teacher, right. But they can see there is light on the other side, or there is you know, you can continue even when there are the challenges. They're only temporary.

28:26 They're only temporary. Yeah, I can a few of the chapters. This is just like preach. How we wrap up what do you yes our listeners with and how may they reach out to you. You can reach out to me, Felicia Hurt dot com. I'm on the internet also on Instagram and Facebook. But I want women to know people that are going through challenges that just trust God. Just take the first step and trust God in whatever challenge that you're going through. And it may not look like what you want it to look like, but just trust the process. We trust the process and everything else. We trust in recipes, we trust in you know, financial plans. It's like trust in God and what he has designed for us. And that's what I want to leave people with. But I am vessel for Him in this season, and I want to be able to help women get through their job losses, their job gains, their you know, breast cancer, their marriage, and redivorce if that's what they so uh, remarriage, if that's what they so desire.

29:42 I am so thankful had the opportunity to read your book and to share it with our listeners. Felicia, thank you, thank you so much for being here and for all of you tuning in, thanks for joining us. We're gonna blowans out with our fabulous theme song from Smith's Sisters and the Sunday Drivers, So till next time. This is Dory di Carlo saying, go out and create a marvelous you. Bye for now. She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is braized bra she is she is you, is you, she is she, she is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, she is true, she is brave, she is bold, she she is you.

30:34 She is you, she is you. She is sure of herself. Yeah, she takes care of biz. Powerful and strong. Yes, she knows who she is, has integrity, woman, strong and true. You know her by name. See this woman is you. She is sure, she is she is strong, is strong, she is true, is true, she is braizra she is she is she is you, she is she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true, is true. She is brave, she is she is she is you, she is you. She is adds value and hope, has proved to be brave.

31:18 See it's never too late, never time to behave Reaching for dreams doesn't matter. The age believes in herself, unleashed from her cage. She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, she is, she is you. She is, she is, she Is sure, she is true, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, is brave, she is she is you.