WEBVTT
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She is sure, she is true, she is straw is straw,
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she is true, is true, she is praise, pray is
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she is you.
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Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio. Here
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on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host,
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Dori B. Carlo, and you know we are here week
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after week, show after show, breaking those myths that morepreneurs
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and businesswomen, especially those of us building our businesses from
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home covered just dabbling in between bake sales and getting
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our nails done or not. We are smart, we are savvy,
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and we were sharing the wisdom of women in business
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and in life. And I'm really honored to be bringing
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today's guest in because this is an incredibly important topic.
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Fortunity Alchemist doctor Amatma simmon De codes reproductive roadblocks where
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others fail. A top ranked podcast host, double award winning
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natural pathic doctor, and media acclaimed expert, she has helped
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hundreds conceived when additional paths fell short. Art scientist, art
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Futunity Shirka turning fertility struggles into sixth best stories. And again,
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this is just such an important topic. I am so
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honored to have you here. So doctor Matma, welcome to
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one of Mom radio.
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Thank you for having me, Dori. It's great to be here.
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It is my pleasure and I would love for you
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to take us on your journey that led you through
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macropathic medicine to becoming a futility alchemist.
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Yeah. So I started with really honestly, like the journey
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started when I was like four years old and my
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parents were convinced that I was going to be a doctor, right,
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and that is one of of three things that I
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had the option to be. It's doctor, engineer, or lawyer.
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And for me they had already pre selected doctor. So
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the funny part of that story, though, is that I
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never went to the doctor's office because my father thought
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he was a doctor. He was not, but he wanted
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to be, and he self studied a lot of irtic
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medicine homeopathy, so every time we got sick, he would
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give us home remedies and that was the start. I
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went to undergrad I hated all of it. I was like,
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I don't understand how we can disconnect the body and
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the mind and the spirit. So I like triple majored
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in religious studies, science, biology, and psychology, and at the
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end of that I was like, I can't imagine going
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to medical school and all of my professors were like,
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you're a hippie, just moved to California. And eventually I
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did move to California, but not then. And a month
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before graduating from undergrad I got a pamphlet from a
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naturopathic medical school and the cover said body Mind Spirit,
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and like, I barely even opened the pamphlet because I
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was like, body mind Spirit, That's what I've been saying
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for so long. I was like, look, it's a medical school.
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And instantly I was like, this is it. This is
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where I'm doing with my life. And my parents were like, no,
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we met to be a real doctor, not this. I
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was like, what do you mean? This is what you've
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given me as medicine my entire life. Like now you
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think this is not real medicine. I'm very confused. So
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I had already made the decision. No one was going
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to me out of it. So I went to medical school, graduated,
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was practicing for about five years with kind of a
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general medicine type of practice, just supporting people with whatever,
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and found myself married to this man who wanted to
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have babies, and literally every time he talked about it,
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my uterus was screaming no, and I was like, oh boy,
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I might have married the wrong person, or maybe I
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don't want children. So I went into this kind of
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tailspin of trying to figure out what I was doing,
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because if I wanted to have children, what I had
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learned in medical school was that our fertility drops off
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of a cliff at thirty five. And that was essentially
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what was running in the back of my head was
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I'm going to run out of time, like if I
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don't want if I want a child but not with him,
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I'm going to run out of time. I don't see
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how it's possible. So I was very grateful to my
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like research oriented brain that was like is this true?
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Like I was just asking the question, is this actually true?
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Because if it is, then I'm screwed. And what I
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found was that the idea that our fertility even drops
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off of a cliff comes from eighteen hundreds in France
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where women were not bringing their children in to get
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baptized in churches, and they have records of that. So
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the conclusion that they had made was, oh, fertility drops
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off a cliff because women don't bring their children in
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to get baptized. So me being who I am, I
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was like, something sounds funny about that, Like what was
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life expectancy for women in the eighteen hundreds in France?
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And the life expectancy is so thy two point eight,
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So women were literally dying. So many of them were
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dying in childbirth in their early thirties, so of course
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they weren't bringing their children in to get baptized. So
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this idea. As soon as I found that, I was like, okay, well,
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so then if that's not true, what is true? And
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I just kind of dove into the fertility world decided
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I could figure this out and could like preserve my
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fertility till I was ready with the right person, had
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a divorce, went into like back into the dating world,
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and found the person eventually had a child. But all
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of that was initiated by this like body wisdom is
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what I call it now, that was guiding me and
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was very clear that it was not a good decision
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to have a child with this person. And like every
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day I look at my kid and I'm like, oh
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my god, thank god I didn't have a child with
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that person. Like I just feel so blessed that I
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made the decision that I made and it was a
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tough one at the time. It's not culturally acceptable to
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have a divorce and go through all of that. But
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here we are, like, did it anyway?
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It's amazing to me that they would have statistics for
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me eighteen hundreds.
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Yeah, isn't that crazy?
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Yes, it really is, you know what it really is.
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And it just goes to show, you know, in my
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humble opinion, how unaware most doctors are about it goes
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on in a woman's box.
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Yeah, it's so true. It's so true, and we are
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often not questioning the belief systems that we have right
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and unfortunately, when those belief systems were created very early
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or years and decades ago, I think that it does
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us a disservice because things are evolving and things are
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changing always, so we're basing something on something that wasn't
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even research and scientific to begin with. But then to
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add to it, we're not questioning it. And there are
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some small studies that I've seen that has questioned this belief,
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and what they've actually found is that between the age
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groups of twenty five to twenty nine versus thirty five
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to thirty nine, there is a three percent drop in
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fertility so is very different from a cliff. I mean, yes,
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there's a drop, but it's not as severe as we
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make it sound. And because like the anxiety the stress
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that comes out of having been told that this is
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your reality, your body is going to start feeling you
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at thirty five because we're told that again and again,
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I think that we really go into panic mode. It's
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essentially what I felt when I was with this with
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my ex husband and going through the questions of what
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do I do? And I was panicking. I was like,
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what am I going to do? Because when as soon
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as I got clear that I do want a child,
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I was like, well, crap, if that's a bumber. And
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it was really like such a relief to realize that
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what I had learned was not the actual truth. And
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if I could let that belief system go, then the
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pressure also went away, right like the pressure of oh
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my god, I'm going to run out of time, I'll
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never find someone. And so many women are operating with
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that because we are we have bought into this belief system.
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So I really do feel like if we can change,
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if we can question the belief systems that are not true,
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and if we can say, well, if that not that,
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then what is truth? And that the truth can vary
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from person to person. Right, you might have a thirty
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five year old that is actually going to have problems
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because of genetics or whatever. She was given less eggs
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than her counterparts at thirty five. Whatever it is like
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from person to person there is a variable. But in general,
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we can't say that an entire population is going to
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have a drop of anything. It's just not true. So
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as soon as we start questioning these beliefs that we've
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been given, then we can get to like, Okay, what's
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true for me? And how do I figure that out?
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And if this is not true, then what do I
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need to get the answers that I need to make
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the decisions that I want to make without the stress,
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without the pressure, without the fear of like, oh my god,
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if I don't do this, if I don't do this
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XYZ thing, I'm going to be not having the life
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that I envisioned for myself.
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Mentions strength, what kind of roles of that, ploy inputility,
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how to manage it?
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Stress plays quite a big role, it is. There's a
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lot of research on stress actually, and they've studied all
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different types of stress and what we have found over
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and over again is that stress just screws with the
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entire endocrine system. So it's from top to bottom, every
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endocrine gland and the multiples of hormones that these glands
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make are all impacted by stress. But when you when
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you hear that, most people say, well, what do I do?
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I can't go live in a bubble. And that's often
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the response that I've had as well, because I think
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that a lot of women fall into this like high achieving.
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I want to be successful, I have dreams, I want
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to do things. Yes, yes I want a family, but
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I also want all of these other things. And for me,
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it was really important to figure out that we are
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not going to get rid of stress, right like stress
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is always going to be part of our reality, but
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there are few things that stress really can be shifted
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into that is different. So one is being able to
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understand that our bodies do not run on a twenty
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four hour clock. So a lot of what a lot
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of that stress and pressure is coming from I'm not
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doing enough, I'm not knocking the things off of my
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to do list. And we treat ourselves as the men
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are our male counterparts who do run on a twenty
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four hour clock. So for women, it is super important
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to realize that we have a twenty eight day clock,
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not a twenty four hour clock. And when we shift
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into a twenty eight day clock, things get very different.
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The idea of pressure becomes different because for me, I
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know that while I'm menstorting is the worst time to
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have a very long to do list and work fourteen
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hour days and feel like, oh my god, I'm always behind, right,
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And if I put that kind of pressure on myself
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during that time period, then I will have a very
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horrible experience of life, and that is stressful. But if
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I shift my relationship with that and say, hey, this
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is actually the time of my cycle where I'm supposed
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to be getting more in internal and listening to my
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intuition and slowing down and rejuvenating, then my relationship becomes
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very different because I know that the ten days after
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my menstrual cycle, I'm going to be a freaking badass, right, Like,
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if I conserve my energy during the time that I'm
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mens writing, I am going to be an absolute badass
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when when my hormones shift and I go into the
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estrogenic period. So if we can understand that our bodies
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are shifting in every phase of our cycle, and if
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we actually live in sync with that, the stress goes
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away because now you're not putting the type of pressure
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that you have all of these things to do. I
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have a lot of things to do. I run three businesses,
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so I am very much a quote unquote busy person.
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But my what's hilarious is my my one of my
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co founders in one of my businesses is a man,
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and he's like, hey, he just said this last week.
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He's like, hey, so when is that time where you
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like are going to like knock everything off the list
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and magically like send me eight hundred things to review.
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And I'm like, oh, it's coming, And like he knows
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that there are times of the month where I'm going
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to be super productive and then there are gonna be
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other times of the month where we're better off like
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letting me not do those things but instead focus on
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the big picture, the vision, the things that I really
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need to be doing during that phase of my cycle.
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So he doesn't know exactly what's happening with all the hormones,
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but he knows that there's a shift, right and he's like,
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just let me know like when we can expect that
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and I'm like, yep, I got you. It's on my list.
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I won't get to it, but it's it's not the
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type of list that is like I have to do
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this today. It's the type of list that this is
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like over the next month, I will make it happen.