Antoinette H. Jones on The Children's Authors Alley with Dori DeCarlo on WoMRadio

0:00 She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, she is she is you. She is you, she is you, she is sure, she is true, she is strong, she is straw, she. Is true, is true, she is brave, is bray, she is she is you. Hello, everyone, welcome to today's Word of Mom Radio. Here on the Word of Mom Media Network. I'm your host, dor Di Carlo, and you know we are here week after week, show after show, breaking those myths that morepreneurs and businesswomen, especially those of us building our businesses from home, that we're just dabbling in between bake sales and getting our nails done.

0:46 We're not. We are smart, we are savvy, and we are sharing the wisdom of women in business and in life. And I'm looking forward to bringing today's guest into our children's authors. Ali antoinette H Jones is a writer driven by a sincere desire to connect with young people through storytelling. After more than a decade in education, she made the difficult decision to become a children's author at the age of forty nine. It has changed her perspective. Becoming an author at that stage of her life has opened Antoinette's mind to new possibilities and offered her the opportunity to inspire others. It's important to Antoinette to share life's possibilities with others, especially children. Drawing from her personal story and interactions, she wrote the book The Independence As she hoped the story has resonated deeply with its audience, offering connection, laughter, and thought provoking insights into the human experience. Through her writing and life experiences, Antoinette hopes to inspire and uplift young hearts, reminding them that they are never alone in their journey.

1:58 Her journey is a storyteller is one of resilience, transition, and unwavering dedication to the transformative power of literature. And with all that being said, I could continue on, but instead I'd rather welcome you in so Anjoinette. Welcome to Word of Mom Radio. Thank you, Joe, you are very welcome. I would love for you to take us on your journey through education and everything that led you to becoming a children's author. Absolutely, it's a long journey. I can skip some chapters because I started writing as a teenager, so it was very early on that I learned to love the writing process. But life happened, and I didn't get encouragement along the way about writing, so I gave that up and decided I was going to follow the money. And life happened again, and it was like, okay, so you got to follow the kids and what do they need and what's best for their family? And life happened again, and I decided that I had to figure out what was going to be best for me. I lost both my parents in a three year span, and that caused me to think really hard about, Okay, so you don't know when your last day will be. If it's today, are you happy with what you did yesterday?

3:16 And this book that had been sitting on my heart for five years was like I'm ready, I'm ready, do me, pick me, and that's what I decided to do. I was like, okay. I had to talk with. My husband and I was like, I really feel like this is the time, and he was very encouraging with saying do it. So I did. I love that and I really do, because you know what, very often we talk ourselves out of our dreams, not talk ourselves into them. More and more and it's so important and I think it's part of why we do what we do here at Ord of Mom Radio to really encourage women to never give up because you are never too young, too old. Whatever time you start, guess what, that was the perfect time.

4:03 Absolutely, and that's what I have learned. Absolutely. So for you, what are the central themes and messages in your book that you want people to take away when they need the independence. I really want people to take away the fact that you're not alone in the world. You think you are alone. The experiences that you're having are so personal. It feels like what you're going through is just you and nobody could understand it. But by reading the characters, I hope that they will see a little bit of themselves. I've heard they see themselves, they see friends, they see people they know, and that makes them feel more connected in the world, like, oh, like somebody else went through this.

4:45 It wasn't just me. Somebody else is feeling these things, and that makes me feel like I'm not alone in this world, because being alone is really hard and experiencing things that are hard and feeling alone makes them a lot tougher. If you feel like it's not just me, it's happening to other people around the world, it makes it a little more palatable. You can say, Okay, I can get through this. I read a story where somebody else went through something similar and they went through it and they were okay. And that's what I want people to really get when they read my story. I found it interesting because each of your characters, you know, you look at Chris and Avery, and you know, all of the different characters, each has their own challenge that they are trying to live with and cope with, whether it's the death of a parent, the parents being deployed, you know, or all of the different things that are going on. And I don't think the feeling of being alone is limited at any age. Nope, because I think parents' kids, everybody, when they're facing challenges, feel like no one else can understand what's going on here.

5:54 I agree. I agree. I worked with students from the very beginning in pre k all the way up to students in law school and graduate school, and so the thing that was a common thread in every school I worked in was that feeling of being disconnected until they found their group, until they found a connection with someone else at school and someone in the office with a joining a club or something like that. That feeling of loan when they first start out, no matter what age they were, once they found that connection, their whole world opened up. It's amazing how that happens. And part of the big thing and theme of this book is the resilience and the transition that everybody keeps going through throughout this. So how have your personal experiences, Antoinette influenced how you portrayed these kind of themes in your book.

6:56 Well, part of them are personal. So like one of the characters Avery in my book, I was moved from living in the city to move to the suburbs, and that was traumatic for me at the time because it was a big culture shock. But what I learned and what I expressed to my mom later on, because she was the one who was adamant about us moving, it was one of the best things that could have happened to me because it opened up my world and the resilience that I got from being in that space and seeing it through with the support of my friends who I made connections with their and my family.

7:37 Helped me later on. Is other things came through and were hard and I could say, well, this was really hard and I made it through, and I can go through the next thing, and it's not as hard and it doesn't seem as difficult. And I can feel that. When people and I mostly work, like I said, with students, so when I can, I can feel that when they see that, when they have that chance to go through something really hard and then come out on the other side with the encouragement of the adults around them and everything, but they really feel that confidence in themselves. And that's one of the things that I hope that kids get as they read the book, but as they go through life, because I feel like we have built them bubbles around them and they don't get the opportunity to experience these things and to build that confidence and to get a little tougher. So maybe reading about it would help them to understand that it's possible. But I had that journey.

8:35 I've had lots of transitions in my life. Like I said, life happened a lot for me going through the ages, but having those experiences built in at a very young age really helped me to deal with the bigger things as they came along. So knowing that things are going to be hard, but that might be just a season and I can get through that and move on to the next thing. As especially kids, you know, there's so much that goes on in their brains that are so far beyond Do you remember the cartoon The Family Circle, Yes, that has you know, pin paper, where here's little PJ sitting against the tree and his thought bubbles are I'm gonna have to go to school, So how am I going to learn how to make my bed? All of these different things?

9:28 And mom and Dad are looking at him out the window, going, oh, to be young and not have a Carrien, Yes. And it's so funny because we as adults, I think, often forget what it was like being a teenager, what it's like being that tween age where you want to do all these things and you're not old enough to do them and your parents won't let you, but you really want to try, and and so there's just all that angst that goes on. And again, each one of these characters has their own transitions that they are going through that people don't know about. And Riley that you know at the end where you're finding out that you know and you wonder why what makes kids do the things that they do? And is it a cry for help?

10:20 Is it? You know? All of these different things that you just don't know. And I like at the end of the book, how you have book club questions kind of fostering using this whether you're using it in school or a parent reads it first gives it to their kids to spark conversation. What made you add those kind of questions? Just from what you said, like, I know that a lot of times we as adults forget what it was like. And if you don't interact with kids on a regular basis other than your own, possibly you don't know the things that are going on in their heads. So I just hope that if I put the question and it would give teachers, caregivers, whomever a chance to spark conversation with the kids and hear what they're thinking about, hear about the things in their lives that are touching them and affecting them, and for the caregiver or teacher to offer some solace, some support, something to say I hear you, because that's all people want is to be hurt and to know that what they are thinking and feeling matters, even little people.

11:30 You know, what their feelings matter. I remember my son asking you on time, you know, when does my opinion count? In this family, I said, when you pay rent, I said, other than that, you're along for the ride. I said, understand something. I hear what you're saying, and I respect your feelings and your opinion, but ultimately, you are the child. I am the parent, and I have to make the final decision. And someday you are going to understand. Right now, now, you think I'm being unfair, you think I'm not taking your feelings, I'm not respecting you and everything else. But someday this conversation is going to come back to you and you're going to understand why I did this. So guess what for that day? Then I say this now?

12:18 And it was funny. My son was twenty four and he called me up and said, Mom, remember that time you said that you were saying things and I wouldn't understand it, but someday I would. And for that day, then you're saying it now. Guess what that day happened? And so it is. You know as a parent you are now, and especially in today's world, because our kids carry around a handheld computer, yes, that is giving them way more information than they need to have in their. Life and more than they can process. Exactly, you know, and so now our opinions are more divisive and things like that, and guess what it shouldn't be.

13:03 But I tell parents all the time, just don't give up, Like just think of yourself and your behavior and how you are doing stuff. And you hear your parents come out of your mouth sometimes and they're like, wait, where did that come from? Like, if you don't give up, believe me, at some point you're coming out of their mouth, whether they like it or not. I'm laughing because on that note, think about it, we all sound like our mothers sometimes and we. Were like, how did that happen? And then you realize, man, you know, my mom really had some insight. You know, I was my mom was amazing. And I was fourteen when I realized my mother never said no, she goes rather you not do that. And by the time I was fourteen, when my mother said I'd rather you not do that, she was right.

13:55 She was always right. And on that note, on your behalf and memory, Mommy, we're gonna take a quick break, say thank you to our sponsors, and we'll be back here. In just a moment. On Word of Mom. Radio, she is brave, she is bold, she is you and we want to tell your story. Are you ready to share your journey with us on Word of Mom Radio? Go to wordommradio dot com and register as a guest. We want to tell your story because when you win, we all win. In twenty seventeen, Unsilenced Voices was formed to help survivors of domestic abuse and gender based violence worldwide. The organization currently serves Siri Leone, Rwanda, Ghana, and the USA. In twenty twenty two, Unsilenced Voices gifted over thirty three thousand dollars to survivors in the USA and in Siri Leone, there are over twenty six young girls who have been rescued from sex t and domestic abuse and now going through vocational training school in order to better their lives.

15:07 We need your help. Donations are critical in order for us to continue our work. We also need volunteers to help with research and development. Please visit Unsilenced Voices dot org for more information. And we are back here on Word of Mom Radio. I am speaking with Antoinette h Jones about her book The Independence and just talking about those relationships that especially as kids. You know, some of those relationships that I have. I'm actually right now recording in the home of my childhood friend. I'm up here for the weekend visiting with her.

15:51 We've been friends since we were eleven and thirteen. Oh, that's something that we're not quite sure, but you know, we're going on almost fifty years of a French Yeah. It's things like that. You know, some of those people that you meet in your early life that are with you forever. My webmaster Linda Cherry. You guys have heard about Lynda Jill. I've known Linda was the little sister my little brother always wanted. So I've known since she's thirteen. Actually, her son, my godson, turned twenty one the other day. Yeah, So you know, it's amazing how these friendships as a child and as kids can move on. And that's the central theme to me in this book is about friendship and how friends are foregn and come together. These individual people the independence thing, were independent people dealing with their own things who came in in a common goal. How do you believe that the portrayal of these friendships can really give that positive insight to those kids reading it.

17:03 I hope it's through. Example, because again, when I worked with students, a lot of times they have a lot going on in their head, and like you say, the devices that they have make them feel like they're connected, but they aren't really connected, and so they have these conversations on the device that don't translate into real life. Like they have trouble with speaking to each other. They have trouble with knowing how to connect and what to say. So I'm hoping that the example that they get just from reading the Book of Seeing how like you said, all these kids have different lives, they have different backgrounds, they come from different places, but they can still connect. They still find a way to be nice to each other, to have a conversation, to hang out, I mean Roger Bike, like be out there in the world.

17:56 To connect with another person. So I'm hoping the example of Seeing It will help other kids figure out how to make it happen in their real life. I love that you said that about ride your bike, because again, in today's world, I'll never forget being out walking and these kids are riding their bike and the police came up behind them. You're not supposed to be riding your bike. I walked over. I said, excuse me, the officer, Yeah, why would you have a problem that these kids are riding their bikes on the sidewalk or on the side street in the park. What is your problem? Did you forget what it is on a really nice day, it's been raining for a week. I'm sitting here. These kids have done nothing, They've caused no problem. What is your problem? Where do you expect them to go?

18:40 We live in such a different world. When I was a kid in the summertime, man, you ate breakfast, you shoved a sandwich in your pocket, and you came home on the street you wanted to call somebody, yelled their name loud enough so the kid on the next block and then let them know you would try to find them. And that bike was a your first that it's a freedom, like you got on that bike and you got to. Do yeah, exactly exactly. So it's such a different world that our kids live in. And it's interesting, you know, for me, I have two grandkids, both my sons. One son is a very electronic the other son is very much nature. So it's a really interesting dichotomy because my grandson, I mean, forget it, they'll show me how to do things on my computer, is six. And then there's my granddaughter who's gonna show me how to hike this trail, meaning we can make this craft and so they all everybody's journey is different, just like these kids in the book.

19:40 You know that each one of them, regardless of what's going on at home and their private journeys and things like that, they're all together. Mm and they show up for each other. Yeah, exactly, and and really working together. I'm gonna flip this because you do have that background in education, was part of this for you as an educator? Writing this book a good resource for teachers and students to spark these conversations. Angelinette, Yes, I. Mean just when I just felt like there wasn't there weren't enough people to touch all the kids who needed to be touched. When you're working with the students, it's like you sit down with a kid and you ask them just a small question about what they did in the summer or something, and they just pour out all this information looking for connection. And I hope that if I can offer it as a book, it can reach more classrooms, more teachers, like have a book club with the students and have these conversations that they can even take home, like copy the questions and let them take them home and the parents can ask them about the book that they're reading and make a connection. Just any way to help the kids figure out that they can do hard things. It's okay, you can do hard things, and you'll be okay.

20:58 Not only can you do hard things, but you can work together to learn to solve a problem. To create those connections. I mean, it's part of what I really enjoyed. You know, you came up with what idea and how they were able to just kind of move forward and help out avery and all of these different things. Because again, learning how. To work together, learning how to find a common goal and make that happen, I think works in so many different ways. Problem solving is a huge thing, and I mean our kids do it from the time they're you know, toddlers, they're already problem solving, you know, but when they realize that they're working together to do it, I think it fosters of a sense of independence and purpose and and just making them realize that I have got this and I'm not alone, that I've got friends I can rely on.

22:01 Right, and we're different, but we can still work together. That's a great way to end this conversation. What do you want to leave our listeners with, Antoinette and how may they reach out to you? I want to leave them with the knowledge that they are not alone. Everybody, anybody who's listening, everybody who reads the book. There is connection out there. There are people who understand, there are people who are having similar experiences, and we all can support each other no matter where we come from, what our backgrounds are like, or what our experiences have been thus far, we can find common ground and support each other.

22:42 How may they reach out to you, Antoinette? Everybody can just go to my website Antoinette Hjones dot com and anything they need, emails, social media and stuff are all there, so it can keep it simple Antoinette Hjones dot com. All of Antoinette's links are going to be live on wardofmomradio dot com and they'll also be a link to the book The Independence. I encourage you to get this for your tweens. I really do. It's a good book, it's a good read, and it's something you could enjoy together again. I like the questions at the end. I think it's important that we have these conversations with our kids, and it's a great way to take that and kind of translate it into all the different things that they're doing, because conversing with your kids is really important, really, So I want to thank you so much, Angelinette for taking the time to share your journey and your story with us here on Word of Mom Radio.

23:40 I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me, Dory. I appreciate your show so much. I told you the authenticity integrity that you bring forth really is. A great thing in the world. Oh, thank you so much. It is really my absolute pleasure and honor to be able to host this show, and I thank you for your time war Words, and to all of you tuning in, thank you so much for being with us today. We're gonna close out with our fabulous theme song from Smith's Sisters and the Sunday Drivers. So till next time, This is Dory de Carlow saying, go out and create a marvelous view. Bye for now.

24:20 She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, she is true. She is Brazra. She is she, she is you, she is you. She is she is sure. She is sure, she is strong, she is strong, she is true, she is true. She is brave, she is she is, she is you. She is you, she is you. She is you. Sure of herself, Yes, she takes care of his Powerful and strong. Yes, she knows who. She is has integer, edy, woman, strong and true. You know her by name. See this woman is you. She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, he is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave, she is she is you, is you, she is she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true.

25:15 Is true. She is brave, she is she is she is you. She is you. She adds value and hope, has proved to be brave. See it's never too late, never time to behave Reaching for dreams doesn't matter. The age believes in herself, unleash from her cage. She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true, True, she is brave, she is bold, she is you. She is she is. Sure, she is she is strong, she is strong, she is true, is true, she Is brave, is brave, she is she is you.