Nov. 12, 2025

AI - The New Teen Crisis on Ask Mom with Sue Donnellan

AI - The New Teen Crisis on Ask Mom with Sue Donnellan
AI - The New Teen Crisis on Ask Mom with Sue Donnellan
Word of Mom Radio
AI - The New Teen Crisis on Ask Mom with Sue Donnellan

Sue Donnellan shares Artificial Intimacy The New Teen Relationship Crisis: Protecting Teens in the Age of AI Companions

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Season 1Ask Mom Podcast

🎧Artificial Intimacy
The New Teen Relationship Crisis: Protecting Teens in the Age of AI Companions

What happens when your teen’s closest confidant isn’t a person, but a program?
In this eye-opening episode of The Ask Mom Parenting Podcast, Sue pulls back the curtain on a growing digital dilemma: teens forming emotional or even romantic relationships with AI chatbots. One in five teens are already turning to apps like Character.ai and Replika for comfort, validation, and “connection.” Most parents have no idea it’s happening. But behind the friendly avatars and endless empathy lies a silent crisis: dependency, isolation, and emotional confusion that can reshape how an entire generation defines love and belonging.

Sue and Randee break down:
• Why AI “companions” feel safer than real people and what that reveals about today’s teen mindset.
• How these algorithms are engineered to bond emotionally and keep kids hooked.
• The hidden fallout: deepfakes, digital harassment, privacy risks, and social withdrawal.
• Simple conversation openers that disarm defensiveness and build trust.
• How to teach discernment: the ability to tell real from artificial connection.
• Ways to rebuild genuine human relationships so your teen’s world doesn’t shrink to a screen.

This isn’t a future problem, it’s a right now one. By the end, you’ll know how to spot emotional dependency on AI, create boundaries that stick, and guide your teen back toward what’s real.
Listen if you want to:
· Understand why teens are emotionally outsourcing to AI.
· Learn how to protect your child without panic or control.
· Get clear, doable steps to bring connection back home, before the bots do it first.

Connect with Sue at AskMomParenting.com and on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Amazon and YouTube.

🔗 Links & Resources:
· Free Facebook Group: Yell-Free Parenting for Exhausted Moms
· Sue’s Book: Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck
· Want 1-on-1 coaching? Book here
· Get Sue’s Weekly Newsletter: Subscribe now

Thanks for listening! Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a mom who needs to hear it.

Please support UnsilencedVoices.org a global 501(c)3 nonprofit that empowers survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

We thank Smith Sisters and the Sunday Drivers for our theme song, "She is You".

Be sure to connect with us and come tell us your story!

WordofMomRadio.com - sharing the wisdom of women, in business and in life.

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WEBVTT

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She is braz Bray, she is she is you.

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You're tuned in to Word of Mom Radio here on

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the Word of Mom Media Network.

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Hi everyone, and welcome back to the Ask Mom Parenting podcast,

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where we take the mystery and the yelling out of

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modern parenting and offer real life self help for parents.

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I'm Sue and with me is Randy, and we are

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here with our no bullshit, no filter, and zero guilt

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parenting reboot. Whether you're deep in the toddler tantrums or

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navigating tween and teen drama, or somewhere in between, we'll

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get you clarity and actionable tools one episode at a time.

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Today's episode might feel like a little bit of a

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gut punch for you today because we are diving into

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something that so many parents have no clue is even happening.

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And that is your tween or teens AI relationship And yes,

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I said relationship, Artificial intimacy, the new teen relationship crisis,

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and how to protect your kids in the age of

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AI companions.

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So, if you're still.

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Thinking that AI is just helping kids cheat on essays

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and crank out homework faster, you're about three chapters behind

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right now. One in five middle school and high school

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students in the US are using AI chatbots for romantic

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or emotional relationships and for therapy. And here's the part

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that should make every parent want to continue listening to

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the very end.

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Two thirds of those.

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Parents have no idea that it's even happening. This is

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a stat from the Center of Democracy and Technology on

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a recent study which we're going to talk about in

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a little bit. This isn't some distant sci fi scenario.

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It's happening right now behind closed bedroom doors and on

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private phones, where your child might be building emotional connections

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with something that isn't even human but was engineered to

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mimic love, empathy, and trust. All the same emotions that

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we're struggling with to try to connect with our teens

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are all being duplicated on the aichol bo. So today

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we're going to be pulling back the curtain on what

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these AI relationships really are, why our kids are turning

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to them, and what the hidden risks are that many

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parents seem to be missing, and most importantly, what you

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can actually do about it. This isn't just a tech problem,

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it's a connection crisis. And if we don't start paying attention,

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AI will become the safest place that our kids think

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they can be vulnerable instead.

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Of with us.

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So today we're getting real about why teens are turning

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to AI faster than parents can keep up, and the

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hidden risks that are rewiring, how our kids experience love,

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trust and connection, and how to talk to your teen

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about it before they shut you out completely. It's super

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scary to realize the power that our kids have not

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to let us in. Randy's going to give us some

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more insight into the eye popping survey that we talked

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about a little earlier and the results from the Center

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of Democracy and Technology.

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Yes, these survey results are very interesting and as a parent,

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very eye opening. Before I get into the sets, though,

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I do want to preface this by saying I personally

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am not anti AI at all. I've been using it

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for a couple of years now, off and on. I

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first started using CHETCHPT in twenty twenty two, and it

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is nothing like it was today. When we first started

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using it, the output wasn't that great. The output has

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advanced a lot, but I do think we need to

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be careful on how we use it, and I also

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think we the humans behind the AI are giving it

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a little bit too much credit for what it's capable

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of doing, and I think that lends a lot to

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what we're going to talk about today. I do think

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kids and even some adults give it a lot of

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credit for lots of things, but especially in being able

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to have a personal relationship or friendship with them. So

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these stats to me were staggering. The first Nearly one

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in five high schoolers say they or someone they used

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AI for a romantic relationship. Nearly half of students that

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use AI talk about emotions, friendships, and mental health. Many

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teens say they feel more comfortable opening up to a

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chatbot than to a parent or friend. Eighty five percent

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of teachers and students use AI during the school year,

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and that's important because the stats kind of really show

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the kids that use AI in school and they're comfortable

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with it tend to start using it more at home,

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and then it leads down the rabbit hole of these relationships.

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Thirty six percent of students have heard about AI created

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deep fakes involving fake explicit photos. So apps that kids

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are using to have these relationships are apps like character, Dot,

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Ai Replica, and Talkie. These platforms create ai friends or

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companions that are always available, always empathetic, saying exactly what

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your tween or teen wants to do here, and that's key,

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they say exactly what it wants to hear. I remember

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when ai first came out, there's all this talk of

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it being this large language model, and it has been

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fed tons and tons of training data. And the reason

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behind why it says exactly what people want to hear

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is because the larger language model, that's exactly what it is.

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It's actually meant to take language, analyze it, and then

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predict not only a response, but in turn also kind

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of what people want to hear. Interestingly enough, in preparation

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for this podcast, when we decided to do it, I

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actually got some information in my email that's related to

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the State PTA Parent Teacher Association, which actually told us

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that character dot Ai by the end of November is

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no longer going to allow kids under.

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The age of eighteen to use that app.

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So I thought that was really interesting because it's showing

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that definitely conversation is out there. Also, yesterday I did

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a little experiment myself with character dot Ai. I tried

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to sign up for it with my daughter's birthday, she's eleven.

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It did not allow me to do that. It did

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allow me to sign up with my own birthday. So

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just a little experiment. If people are wondering, you know,

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how these apps are working and things like that, character

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dot Ai does seem to be trying to take some

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precautions against the younger kids really using these.

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Thank kat Is. That's interesting.

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I one thing that kind of struck me when you

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were talking was, you know when you said that you've

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been using AI since twenty twenty two. You know, we

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all have as business people, we all use it. Like

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I've written my own book. I wrote my own book

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five years ago before AI, where I did the whole

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hard school editing and you know, I crafted every word.

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I mean it was just daunting.

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So I know the value that AI can provide for people. However,

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one of the things that you said, which I didn't

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even think of, is that we think of it as

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chat GPT. You know, old parents, like we're just like, okay, chat.

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We just think it's like, oh, they have chat on

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their phone. What we're failing to think about or consider,

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which I did a lot of deep diving into research

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for this podcast as well, and I wasn't even considering

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the fact that AI is now being embedded into everything.

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So when you mentioned those other software programs, these are

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things these kids can download, but they're also embedded with AI,

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which means it's not just as simple as going, oh,

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I have the chat GPT app. It's so much more

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than that, and it's pervasive into our world. It's everywhere,

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you know, and it's almost to the point where it's annoying.

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So every time I'm using an app where I'm trying

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to get something done, I turn the AO off.

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I don't.

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It's kind of annoying where it's trying to think for me.

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I think that that's an important discussion that you brought up.

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That's just another thing that like I didn't even consider.

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That was happening.

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That it's at our kids fingertips and there it's cultivating

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those relationships. It's just coming in and grabbing our kids

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no matter what app they're on, even if they're on

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some type of regular social media, it's it's embedded and everything.

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Yeah, exactly. And one of the reasons I think why

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you discussed earlier parents don't even know this is happening

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is because these apps could look just like games or

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you know, maybe we don't you know, necessarily know. So

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that is an interesting thing just to keep in the

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back of your mind. If you're a parent and you

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are interested to see, like are your kids using these apps?

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You know, just take a little deeper look. At surface level,

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it may seem like, oh, my kid isn't talking AI,

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but you know, do a little deeper. You never know

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what app on their phone actually could be an AI companion.

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That's great.

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So other key reasons why teams are to earning to

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AI for what they think are quote relationships, because that's

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what this podcast is about.

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You know, we could talk.

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About the pervasiveness of AI across the board, but in

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this episode today, it's about connection and it's about the

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relationships our kids are developing. You know, what I want

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parents to hear loud and clear is that this behavior

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is still a form of communication. Even though it's nonverbal,

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it's still a behavior that speaks volumes to us as

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parents of our kids are forming these connections. When your

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teen crosses over into building a relationship with a chatbot,

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it's telling you something very important.

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So let's decode it.

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Number One, it feels safe with an anonymous chatbot, so

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you so you know how we are. You know, we've

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all maybe been on an airplane and we've met a

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complete stranger and we find ourselves like and on a

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flight with somebody for an hour and we tell them

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our deepest, darkest secrets. It's it's like, you know, I'm

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never going to see this person again. It's it's sort

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of similar to that, but ongoing. There's no awkwardness, no

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fear of rejection. We know, you know, in the in

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the airplane example, we're not you know, we're never going

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to see this person again. So with our kids on

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the chatbot, it feels so anonymous.

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It feels, you know, that there's no fear and there's

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no fear.

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Of rejection, and AI gives an unconditional acceptance with no

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judgment that comes from parents and friends, and that feels

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so safe. Another reason is that they're lonely. If you

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post pandemic, loneliness is at a record high for kids.

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If your teen struggles with social anxiety and identity, which

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middle most kids do, that's an awkward age for everybody.

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We all know that high school felt weird for us,

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you know, so AI fills that void we've never been

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more connected online but more disconnected in real life. The

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more digital are kids, world becomes the lonelier their hearts get.

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And AI is just a.

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Mirror, not a friend. It works off what you input,

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like what you said, Randy. It's designed and it's designed

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to mirror back how you feel. It's predicting, after all,

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what you put in is predicting how you're going to

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feel and what you want to hear, which is super scary.

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Number Three, they turn to AI for relationships because they're curious.

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So maybe they don't have the confidence to go out

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and form a relationship or form a new friendship with

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somebody that could reject them. They're testing boundaries, they're exploring intimacy,

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but they won't get real world feedback, and that's dangerous

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because feedback is how humans learn what connection really requires,

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and that's empathy, vulnerability, accountability. Another reason is that it's

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always available, Unlike mom and dad. You know we are busy,

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and a bot never says it's busy. You know it's

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emotional junk food and you know it tastes good going down,

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but it leaves a kid feeling emptier than they did before.

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It also says what the child wants to hear. AI

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companions are programmed for engagement. They will suck you in.

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They'll say I love you, they'll say I miss you.

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They'll say that you're perfect or that everything that you

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think is correct, because that is how a user gets hooked.

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It really becomes a digital codependency if we're not aware

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and engaged in our child's online life. Teams are growing

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up in a world where artificial companionship feels safer than

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human connection.

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And that's that's scary.

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You know, if you don't teach your kids the difference,

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they'll become further and further away from knowing how to

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create a companionship that actually does exist in real life

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and can last. So here are some real risks that

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parents should know. Now, let's cut through the fear mongering

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and look at the real concerns that we are facing.

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Young impressionable minds can get distorted views of relationships.

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You know.

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AI, Like we said.

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Earlier, it never disagrees or challenges your child. It says

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you're right even when they're not. So your team starts

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equating love with agreement, not growth and development. Real friendships

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require discomfort and compromise and apologies. Without those life skills,

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they'll struggle later in friendships and dating and even marriage

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and parenting. Another risk is exposure to harmful content. Like

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we talked about earlier, Some of these apps are allowing

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explicit role play or romantic chats kids life about their

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age to use the VPNs they even open. AI just

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recently said that they're working on bringing adult content to market.

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Parent filters aren't enough, and the only antidote is your

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daily involvement and curiosity. AI creates social withdrawal and dependency.

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When AI becomes your kid's confidant, their real world social

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muscles atrophy. They lose tolerance for rejection and awkwardness, which

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are both critical parts of emotional maturity. This dependency just

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feeds more anxiety. There's also the privacy and the data

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to consider. Everything that they share will train the AI algorithm.

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That secret crush or confession.

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Becomes part of a database.

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And here's the scary part, that data can resurface in

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another user's chat. Also, don't forget they're living in a

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little fish bowl of life in high school and they

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don't realize someday they're going to need to be investigated

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for jobs and have somebody going through all of their

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data to rent an apartment or to buy a car.

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All of the information that we put online makes us susceptible,

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and last, deep fakes and digital harassment become very real.

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This one's brutal and already being reported on the news.

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Real time AI can create fake explicit images when a

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user uploads an image and edits it. This is taking

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bullying to dizzying new levels. And we can't even begin

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to comprehend the ramifications for our kids.

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Yeah, there's definitely a lot of ramifications possible ramifications for sure.

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One thing though, that comes to mind too that I

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just want to say, because I know some other parents

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are probably out there thinking the same thing like I think.

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To us parents, this whole thing can seem so strange

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because I know, really, just before we started diving so

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deep into this podcast, I was thinking, there's like, no way,

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I can't even imagine my kids talking to like an

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AI chatbot and really being invested in this relationship with them.

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And then I saw the statistics and then I was like, well,

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there's a lot of kids out there that are so

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I had to peel back the layris to say anyone

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is susceptible, and I think it's just so easy to

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dismiss you know, that won't happen to my kids. But

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the truth is is, you know, to have the awareness

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that you know a staggering number of kids are participating

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in this, you know, just important to keep keep an

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eye out because I think, as you know, as parents,

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we didn't grow up with this technology, and it's just

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so easy to think, like, you know, we kind of

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think sometimes a little more rationally kids from the lobes

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aren't fully developed, you know, and hard to believe that

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people might really give their deepest dark as seekerts to

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a chat about or think that it's real. But I

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really do think people are thinking that these are real relationships.

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So just something to kind of point out. But you

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mentioned the deep fakes as well. That's something that maybe

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a year or two ago locally to me, we had

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a young girl. This just happened a lot during prom season,

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but one family really spoke out in the local news

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and I was just like so proud of them because

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you could tell it was so hard. A seventeen year

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old girl was just taking regular prom pictures and somebody

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in her grade took the face from these prom pictures

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outside somewhere, you know, very innocent photos, put it on

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a naked body, and like just totally disseminated it throughout

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the entire school, and her mom shared the story of

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just how the consequences of shame, embarrassment, and bullying, and

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even after people knew it wasn't real, it's still you know, kids,

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and it's just still didn't stop. So they brought it

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to the local news to bring attention and awareness to it,

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and I just was like so proud of them for

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doing that. But it was just like, oh my goodness,

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I can't believe this is happening. And I live in

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a particularly large district. This was a different district, but

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I mean, our high school has about three thousand students

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in it, and I've been told that it's definitely happened

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in our high school as well.

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Yeah, you know, I don't doubt that.

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I think it's, like I said, it's taking bullying to a.

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Whole new level.

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And kudos to the mom because that's the connection she

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built with her daughter. The daughter felt safe trusting her

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telling her that this was going on. The mom grabbed

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control of the situation and took a huge leadership role,

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went out, gave that girl confidence and said we fight

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for ourselves.

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And you know you didn't do.

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This that She went out, spoke to the media, and

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she created an amazing example for not just her daughter,

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but for other parents.

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So that is a very important lesson.

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One other thing that I wanted to circle back on

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is like you were talking about how even you were

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peeling back that layer, thinking could my kid. We always

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have to put that mirror in ourselves, you know. That's

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what we talk about in parenting, before we start judging

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and before we think out that would never happen. About

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a year or so ago for me, I was at

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a functional medicine doctor just getting some.

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Blood work done and I was shocked. The doctor told

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me she admitted that she uses AI for therapy.

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And that was the first time that someone sort of

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pierced my aiyebubble and was like, Oh, I'm might use

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it to help me edit something, or to come up

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or flesh out an idea, you know, the whole basic

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use of AI. I never in a million years would

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have thought that I would be typing in some of

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my personal concerns and issues in a personal relationship and

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asking for advice, And when she mentioned that to me,

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I really thought, Wow, I need to understand this a

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little bit further, and how what are the implications as

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a parent and for children. Because we're adults that we

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did not grow up with all of this. So these

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children are growing up with this as a steady diet

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of tech. This is all very normal for them. And

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if your child is not in the one in five

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that's creating these online relationships, I guarantee you that your

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child has a friend who is. Yeah, it's kind of

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interesting to have that conversation with your child and start

359
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cracking that door and getting that level of conversation going you. Now,

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the bottom line is that AI can stimulate empathy, but

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it can't feel empathy. Your team isn't talking to a person,

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they're talking to a pattern generator. So it's important for

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kids to know this distinction. What can parents actually do

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about their child's intimate relationship with AI or lack thereof

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00:19:11.319 --> 00:19:15.519
with real friends. Let's begin with a few red flags first,

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and these are signs that you'll want to look for

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from your child. Again, I talk a lot about not

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going through the front door with a direct question. Some

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of the things you can do to kind of go

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through the side door and sort of broach the subject

371
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without making it a direct question.

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You can observe.

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So your team might seem overly attached or emotionally dependent

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on their computer or their chatbot, or you're going to

375
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see a sign that there's an emotional dependency here, maybe

376
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even a defensiveness. There are maybe withdrawing from real life

377
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friends and activities, or they're sharing highly personal or sexual

378
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content and they're maybe spending more time in the bathroom

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privately or behind closed doors privately.

380
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We don't know what's going on. That can be a.

381
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Sign maybe their mood is changing dramatically based on whatever

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their chatbot interns actions are. Maybe you're noticing this doesn't

383
00:20:02.680 --> 00:20:04.920
sound like something she'd be saying or he'd be doing,

384
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And maybe they're just using AI as a substitute for

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therapy or professional help, because we've got a lot of

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parents putting children into therapy right now, so for a

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00:20:14.279 --> 00:20:17.240
parent it could be a very big cost savings. Maybe

388
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they're by default bringing this to their child for this

389
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purpose and not realizing the level of how AI can

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suck your child in. If your gut says that your

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child is struggling, don't wait. Here are some steps that

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00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:34.480
you can take today to lower defenses, open dialogue, and

393
00:20:34.519 --> 00:20:38.359
get a real conversation started with your kids. First, always

394
00:20:38.799 --> 00:20:43.759
start out by being curious and not directive or accusatory, judgmental,

395
00:20:43.960 --> 00:20:47.039
or shocked. So we're not asking are you talking to

396
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an AI boyfriend? We don't want to go It seems

397
00:20:49.799 --> 00:20:51.519
like it's easy to ask that kind of a question,

398
00:20:51.559 --> 00:20:54.880
but like, we're not going there. That just guarantees shut

399
00:20:54.920 --> 00:20:58.039
down in silence, because that type of direct question.

400
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Has a hint of judgment.

401
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:01.799
Like when I hear a question like that, I think

402
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:04.119
I know what the answer is that she wants to hear,

403
00:21:04.200 --> 00:21:05.319
So I'm just going to give it to her.

404
00:21:05.359 --> 00:21:07.799
I'm not going to give her the truth. Instead, you can.

405
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Say something like I've been hearing that some other teens

406
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are using AI chatbox to talk about stuff they don't

407
00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:13.400
want to tell their parents.

408
00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:15.240
Have you tried that? You know?

409
00:21:15.440 --> 00:21:20.000
Third party examples are always really good circuitous ways to

410
00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:22.960
get your child to talk with you. So any third party,

411
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I know someone.

412
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Else is doing it, it's not you.

413
00:21:25.759 --> 00:21:28.319
Now you might like, oh, yeah, you know my best

414
00:21:28.319 --> 00:21:30.960
friend Susie is doing Oh how is that.

415
00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:33.400
Working out what does she say about that? Now, it's

416
00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:34.680
opening up the door to dialogue.

417
00:21:34.680 --> 00:21:38.240
It's a third party approach and that is always very,

418
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very successful. You're not prying, you know, You're trying to

419
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just get the door to open to conversation because you

420
00:21:43.880 --> 00:21:46.720
want to be Remember from our last podcast, you always

421
00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:49.240
want to remain unshockable. You're not going to sit with

422
00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:51.279
your eyes open and be like, wait what, it's.

423
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Not even real.

424
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You know, we want to take time to teach and training,

425
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but we're not reacting.

426
00:21:55.200 --> 00:21:56.640
This is a conversation starter.

427
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If they admit that yes they have, you know, or

428
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:03.240
a friend is doing it, or maybe they have formed

429
00:22:03.440 --> 00:22:06.119
somewhat of a friendship with an AI chatbot, you just

430
00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:08.519
respond by saying, hey, thanks for being honest. You know,

431
00:22:08.599 --> 00:22:11.039
what do you like about it? I'm curious it's probably

432
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:14.039
feels easier to talk to a random simulated friend than

433
00:22:14.160 --> 00:22:16.720
real people, huh. You know, And if it's me, I'd

434
00:22:16.759 --> 00:22:19.720
also probably add something funny by admitting I also hate

435
00:22:19.720 --> 00:22:21.559
people sometimes. You know, if I had this back in

436
00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:23.440
my day, I would also be doing it.

437
00:22:23.519 --> 00:22:24.319
You know, whenever my.

438
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Kids think that that maybe it was something I would

439
00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:30.839
have done or I'm open like, oh hey, wait, how's

440
00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:31.319
that working?

441
00:22:31.400 --> 00:22:32.039
Hey? Show me?

442
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:35.960
You know, it's it's kind of like a neutralized, non

443
00:22:36.079 --> 00:22:38.440
confrontational way of getting your kids to open up and

444
00:22:38.480 --> 00:22:41.839
talk to you. So it's more like it's us together

445
00:22:41.960 --> 00:22:45.000
with understanding. Okay, So now that the door might be

446
00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.240
cracked open, we're going to go into teach mode, and

447
00:22:48.240 --> 00:22:53.079
that that's by explaining the difference between connection and simulation.

448
00:22:53.400 --> 00:22:56.839
So pull back the curtain that AI is easy to

449
00:22:57.119 --> 00:23:00.960
like because it was designed to mirror emotion. It doesn't

450
00:23:01.440 --> 00:23:08.319
actually experience them. Real relationships involve risk, repair and growth.

451
00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:12.759
AI feels easy because there's no challenge or dissenting opinion.

452
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So we want to go into If we do correct

453
00:23:15.319 --> 00:23:17.079
the door and our child does admit that a friend

454
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or they are creating a friendship with a chat bought,

455
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now we might act like, oh you know, oh well

456
00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:24.000
that's interesting.

457
00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:25.039
I would probably do the same thing.

458
00:23:25.079 --> 00:23:27.039
You know, sometimes your dad makes me angry, so you know,

459
00:23:27.079 --> 00:23:28.799
I want whatever it is that I need to do

460
00:23:28.880 --> 00:23:31.720
to form that connection so that they'll talk to me,

461
00:23:31.799 --> 00:23:34.519
teach me and train me. They'll let me in if

462
00:23:34.559 --> 00:23:38.960
I show this curiosity. If you're disagreeing with them. Another

463
00:23:39.079 --> 00:23:43.319
way to help your child is through this counterintuitive move.

464
00:23:44.279 --> 00:23:46.519
Ranby talked about that earlier. She says, I'm not against

465
00:23:46.519 --> 00:23:48.319
AI and I'm not either. You know, I use it

466
00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:51.359
for business on occasion. I think it's a super helpful tool.

467
00:23:51.759 --> 00:23:55.160
But you know, with your child, instead of being afraid

468
00:23:55.240 --> 00:23:56.799
and thinking, oh my gosh, I have to control this,

469
00:23:56.880 --> 00:23:58.839
I have to shut it down, I can't jesus, I mean,

470
00:23:59.119 --> 00:24:00.319
I'm going to take your phone.

471
00:24:00.519 --> 00:24:02.039
You know, we don't want to. We don't want to

472
00:24:02.039 --> 00:24:02.599
respond that way.

473
00:24:02.640 --> 00:24:07.480
We want to maybe embrace AI out by creating boundaries together.

474
00:24:07.759 --> 00:24:11.759
So now that we're in teaching and training mode, you know,

475
00:24:11.839 --> 00:24:14.240
you can show them how to make it work for

476
00:24:14.319 --> 00:24:18.480
you instead of against you. We don't need to ban AI. Well,

477
00:24:18.519 --> 00:24:20.880
that will just drive secrecy from the kids.

478
00:24:21.079 --> 00:24:22.119
We don't. We don't want to do that.

479
00:24:22.319 --> 00:24:25.200
So the goal is to raise independent thinkers, and that

480
00:24:25.279 --> 00:24:27.880
means that we can't shield them from every influence. We

481
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:30.359
have to teach and show them how to navigate whatever

482
00:24:30.440 --> 00:24:32.880
life is throwing at us. Today it's AI, Tomorrow it's

483
00:24:32.880 --> 00:24:34.920
going to be something else. So how we approach this,

484
00:24:35.000 --> 00:24:37.640
how we teach and train, how we create that connection

485
00:24:37.759 --> 00:24:40.720
and that open dialogue is what's important here. Those are

486
00:24:40.759 --> 00:24:44.039
the foundations of parenting that creates skills for life for

487
00:24:44.119 --> 00:24:47.400
our kids. AI isn't going anywhere, and if we treat

488
00:24:47.440 --> 00:24:49.720
it like the enemy, we just make it more intriguing.

489
00:24:50.359 --> 00:24:53.079
The real goal is to raise kids who can tell

490
00:24:53.119 --> 00:24:57.200
the difference between what's real and what's fake. The lines

491
00:24:57.240 --> 00:24:59.759
are really blurring at a rapid case. So in this

492
00:25:00.000 --> 00:25:03.079
if you're of embracing the tools from AI, co create

493
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:06.200
reasonable boundaries with your child. So if they do admit

494
00:25:06.559 --> 00:25:10.079
that they themselves have apprenticeship or their friend does, let's

495
00:25:10.160 --> 00:25:13.240
just open the door to talking about what some boundaries

496
00:25:13.279 --> 00:25:15.920
can be. Because again we're not banning it. We're learning

497
00:25:16.039 --> 00:25:19.640
how to function with this new technology because what we

498
00:25:19.720 --> 00:25:22.960
teach now is going to help our kids create balance

499
00:25:23.000 --> 00:25:27.240
and boundaries on the next latest, greatest technology. So we

500
00:25:27.279 --> 00:25:29.839
can teach that you know what's okay to share and

501
00:25:29.880 --> 00:25:34.240
what's not. AI is a collective intelligence, and so are

502
00:25:34.279 --> 00:25:38.119
you okay with your innermost thoughts being shared? You can

503
00:25:38.160 --> 00:25:40.680
ask your child is that okay to you? Because what

504
00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:43.599
you think might be a private relationship is really a

505
00:25:43.599 --> 00:25:47.319
collective intelligence. Because let's look at how AI really works

506
00:25:47.359 --> 00:25:50.200
it's not just you and AI privately in your bedroom,

507
00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:56.519
it's behind the scenes. It's a collective shared knowledge. Then

508
00:25:56.559 --> 00:25:59.640
also maybe start creating some time limits like same as

509
00:25:59.680 --> 00:26:03.079
the time now we have maybe limits on how much

510
00:26:03.079 --> 00:26:07.440
we're spending with our AI chatbot, and maybe talk about

511
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:10.759
it's okay to talk about how to solve a problem

512
00:26:10.759 --> 00:26:14.039
with a friend or any other surface issue, but no

513
00:26:14.160 --> 00:26:17.559
emotional dumping and no sexual content. So maybe let's agree

514
00:26:17.559 --> 00:26:21.240
to that. And creating those boundaries together now brings you

515
00:26:21.279 --> 00:26:23.160
in and that you can always follow up after those

516
00:26:23.160 --> 00:26:27.039
boundaries are created. One other thing that is a parent

517
00:26:27.240 --> 00:26:31.000
that you can do is to reinforce real world connections.

518
00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:34.079
So now that you might be talking openly about AI

519
00:26:34.240 --> 00:26:38.119
and it's relationship with your child, we're not shaming our child.

520
00:26:38.440 --> 00:26:39.640
We just have new.

521
00:26:39.440 --> 00:26:43.119
Rules for use around AI, and it's our job to

522
00:26:43.160 --> 00:26:46.200
make up for what might be lacking in our kid's life.

523
00:26:46.400 --> 00:26:49.119
Make sure your child has an offline anchor, and that

524
00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:53.119
would look like sports or volunteering, hobbies, friendships that create

525
00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:56.960
that real world feedback loop. It's important that kids feel

526
00:26:57.079 --> 00:26:59.599
value and that they are developing their sense of purpose

527
00:26:59.599 --> 00:27:02.759
in the world, and as parents, that is what we

528
00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:04.640
want to be instilling.

529
00:27:04.279 --> 00:27:05.680
Or investing in our kids.

530
00:27:05.759 --> 00:27:08.839
That means connection, that means relationships, that means trust. So

531
00:27:08.880 --> 00:27:11.559
I often talk about helping our kids find their purpose

532
00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:14.240
and where they add value to the world into our home.

533
00:27:14.680 --> 00:27:17.319
So this is the time to dribble down on that effort.

534
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:19.880
Helping kids find their purpose or what they're good at,

535
00:27:19.960 --> 00:27:23.759
or building a skill, whether it's you know, friendships outside, volunteering,

536
00:27:24.160 --> 00:27:26.559
helping others. These are the types of things that anchor

537
00:27:26.640 --> 00:27:29.440
our children and give them something to think about besides

538
00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:34.000
rushing home and creating that mirrored relationship with their chatbot.

539
00:27:34.319 --> 00:27:36.920
You can ask yourself things like have I created space

540
00:27:36.920 --> 00:27:40.599
where my team feels emotionally safe? Will they trust me

541
00:27:40.759 --> 00:27:44.559
with this information? Do I listen to my child more

542
00:27:44.599 --> 00:27:47.400
than I correct? And do I stay calm when they

543
00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:50.160
tell me the truth? The one question that we want

544
00:27:50.200 --> 00:27:53.119
to keep asking ourselves, especially with tweens and teens, is

545
00:27:53.640 --> 00:27:56.960
have I created an environment where a chat bot feels

546
00:27:57.000 --> 00:28:00.000
safer than talking to me? And does my child feel

547
00:28:00.240 --> 00:28:01.920
like you can trust me with his truth?

548
00:28:02.519 --> 00:28:03.599
Our job now.

549
00:28:03.519 --> 00:28:07.039
Shifts from detective to teacher. So now we've looked at

550
00:28:07.039 --> 00:28:09.319
the red flags, We've looked at the behavior.

551
00:28:08.880 --> 00:28:10.400
And now we're going into teach mode.

552
00:28:10.799 --> 00:28:12.440
This is where we're going to help our kids with

553
00:28:12.519 --> 00:28:17.599
the one most important skill that I feel will help

554
00:28:17.799 --> 00:28:20.599
you create that connection and help teach your kids a

555
00:28:20.640 --> 00:28:24.559
skill for life, and that is developing discernment. That's the

556
00:28:24.599 --> 00:28:28.960
ability to see what's real, what's fake, and what actually

557
00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:33.799
deserves their trust because trust is earned. I love teaching

558
00:28:33.880 --> 00:28:36.720
kids about discernment in all areas of life because it

559
00:28:36.759 --> 00:28:40.119
goes beyond just the rules just following rules. You know,

560
00:28:40.160 --> 00:28:44.160
Discernment is street smarts. It's the ability to pause, think

561
00:28:44.519 --> 00:28:47.799
and recognize the difference between what feels good and what

562
00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:50.880
actually is good for you. And it's the skill of

563
00:28:50.920 --> 00:28:54.640
seeing through imitation, knowing when something is real and when

564
00:28:54.680 --> 00:28:58.319
it's just designed to feel real. In parenting terms, it's

565
00:28:58.319 --> 00:29:01.599
teaching our kids to question what they see, what they feel,

566
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:05.559
what they hear, not out of fear, but out of awareness.

567
00:29:05.799 --> 00:29:10.319
It's the foundation of self trust, critical thinking, emotional maturity,

568
00:29:10.720 --> 00:29:13.880
the skills that protect our kids long after we aren't

569
00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:18.119
there to monitor their screens. So here's what discernment looks

570
00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:22.279
like in minimizing their AI relationship. There's three ways to

571
00:29:22.359 --> 00:29:23.400
teach discernment.

572
00:29:23.880 --> 00:29:25.000
One, Teach your.

573
00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:28.680
Child to notice the feeling behind the click and the conversation.

574
00:29:29.279 --> 00:29:32.720
So AI, social media gaming, all of it works because

575
00:29:32.759 --> 00:29:37.200
it feeds a feeling. Help your child name that feeling

576
00:29:37.480 --> 00:29:40.279
when you talk to the chatbot. Do you feel calm?

577
00:29:40.759 --> 00:29:44.279
Do you feel seen? Do you feel less lonely? And

578
00:29:44.279 --> 00:29:46.720
what are you hoping to get out of this relationship?

579
00:29:47.480 --> 00:29:50.119
Once they can name the feeling, you can ask where

580
00:29:50.160 --> 00:29:53.000
else can you get that feeling from something real, out

581
00:29:53.000 --> 00:29:55.200
in the real world. And then our job is to

582
00:29:55.240 --> 00:29:58.960
help them pivot, to duplicate that outside of the screen,

583
00:29:59.720 --> 00:30:04.240
help them troubleshoot. This builds emotional intelligence and self awareness,

584
00:30:04.359 --> 00:30:09.839
not just tech awareness. Number two, practice the wisdom. Pause

585
00:30:10.759 --> 00:30:14.599
discernment is not just about following rules, rules that someone

586
00:30:14.599 --> 00:30:18.400
else made up. It's about reflex control and the spaces

587
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:23.160
in between. Teach your team to pause before responding, posting,

588
00:30:23.400 --> 00:30:27.880
or sharing. The split second between the impulse and the

589
00:30:27.920 --> 00:30:30.079
action is where real wisdom lives.

590
00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:32.240
When you feel the urge.

591
00:30:32.039 --> 00:30:36.200
To message the AI or scroll, wait ten seconds, just

592
00:30:36.480 --> 00:30:40.960
count to ten, ask yourself, is this helping me? Or

593
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:43.400
where else could I get this information in real life?

594
00:30:43.440 --> 00:30:46.119
Is there somebody else I could ask? Some other experience

595
00:30:46.160 --> 00:30:49.440
I could have rather than just quickly asking a chat box.

596
00:30:49.519 --> 00:30:55.200
That pause translates everywhere in relationships, choices, leadership, in life

597
00:30:55.559 --> 00:30:57.880
if they can just take those ten seconds to stop

598
00:30:57.920 --> 00:31:00.119
and think about what's behind the feeling and what am

599
00:31:00.119 --> 00:31:01.920
I are really trying to achieve? And how could I

600
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:05.279
duplicate this out in a real world experience? And number

601
00:31:05.279 --> 00:31:09.880
three reinforce the real world risk and reward. AI will

602
00:31:09.920 --> 00:31:13.920
offer comfort without any consequence. Real life offers feedback, which

603
00:31:13.960 --> 00:31:17.119
is how your character grows. Encourage routine to do one

604
00:31:17.319 --> 00:31:21.119
thing daily that might make them feel uncomfortable. Join a club,

605
00:31:21.480 --> 00:31:25.240
try out for something, ask a question in class. In fact,

606
00:31:25.359 --> 00:31:28.559
make it a new family expectation. That's how your kids

607
00:31:28.559 --> 00:31:33.640
will develop courage and resilience. Discernment is the new digital

608
00:31:33.759 --> 00:31:37.680
street smarts. Teach your kids to question tech and AI

609
00:31:37.960 --> 00:31:39.880
the same exact way that you taught them not to

610
00:31:39.920 --> 00:31:45.039
talk to strangers. Remember, AI is artificial, it's automated affection.

611
00:31:45.240 --> 00:31:49.799
Therefore it's an illusion. You, however, are not an illusion.

612
00:31:50.200 --> 00:31:54.480
Your child's real life, their friends, their goals, their laughter you.

613
00:31:55.440 --> 00:31:59.000
That's the connection that your child needs more of. AI

614
00:31:59.200 --> 00:32:03.160
is not raising your kids. You are AI cannot replace you,

615
00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:05.599
so don't let it. Thank you so much for listening.

616
00:32:05.640 --> 00:32:07.960
And if you're looking for a parenting book that can

617
00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:10.160
take you from the ages of two to twenty, teach

618
00:32:10.240 --> 00:32:14.000
foundational skills for life and give you a master pleasant parenting,

619
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:17.240
check out my book on Amazon, Secrets to Parenting Without

620
00:32:17.279 --> 00:32:19.599
Giving a Fuck. You'll get so much advice on how

621
00:32:19.599 --> 00:32:24.160
to approach your kids, build lifelong relationships of trust, and overall,

622
00:32:24.200 --> 00:32:27.119
just enjoy your parenting. See you next time I ask mom,

623
00:32:27.160 --> 00:32:28.000
and happy parenting.

624
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:33.519
She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she

625
00:32:33.599 --> 00:32:36.000
is strong, she is true, she is true.

626
00:32:37.279 --> 00:32:41.039
She is Braise Bray. She is she is you.

627
00:32:41.279 --> 00:32:41.799
She is you.

628
00:32:42.119 --> 00:32:45.400
She is you. She is sure, she is sure, she

629
00:32:45.480 --> 00:32:48.400
is strong, she is strong, she is true, she is true.

630
00:32:50.000 --> 00:32:52.359
She is Braise Bray. She is both.

631
00:32:52.440 --> 00:32:53.759
She is she is you.

632
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.119
She is you, she is you sure ever self. Yeah,

633
00:32:58.160 --> 00:33:01.440
she takes care of Bizz. Powerful and strong. Yeah, she

634
00:33:01.519 --> 00:33:05.480
knows who she is. Has integered any woman strong and true.

635
00:33:06.000 --> 00:33:08.599
You know her by name. See this woman is you.

636
00:33:08.920 --> 00:33:12.799
She is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true,

637
00:33:13.119 --> 00:33:13.599
is true.

638
00:33:15.200 --> 00:33:18.960
She is brave, brave, she is she is she is you.

639
00:33:19.240 --> 00:33:19.720
She is you.

640
00:33:20.039 --> 00:33:24.720
She is she is sure, she is strong, is strong,

641
00:33:24.799 --> 00:33:29.960
she is true, is true, she is brave, she is

642
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:33.880
she is, she is you, she is you. She is

643
00:33:34.359 --> 00:33:37.759
adds value and hope, has proved to be brave. See

644
00:33:37.759 --> 00:33:41.599
it's never too late, never time to behave Reaching for

645
00:33:41.759 --> 00:33:46.279
dreams doesn't matter. The age believes in herself, unleash from

646
00:33:46.319 --> 00:33:49.359
her cage. She is sure, she is she is strong,

647
00:33:49.640 --> 00:33:54.279
is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave,

648
00:33:55.079 --> 00:33:58.640
she is bold, she is you. She is she is,

649
00:33:59.160 --> 00:34:02.240
she is she, she is sure, she is she is strong,

650
00:34:02.359 --> 00:34:07.079
she is strong, she is true, is true, she is brave,

651
00:34:07.160 --> 00:34:10.119
she is brave, she is she is, she is you.
Sue Donnellan Profile Photo
Sue Donnellan

As a mother who has balanced raising four kids (including triplets) with a full-time business and a husband who deployed to combat five times, I fully understand the demands on parents to successfully manage a busy family life. The steep learning curve of going from one to four children almost instantly kickstarted my methods for nurturing four unique individuals. My no-nonsense, judgement-free parenting style created an environment of freedom, flexibility and self-initiated learning for our kids. After twenty years in the trenches, parenting four happy, prosperous people, there is much to share that will make the entire process stress-free, effective and fun.

Randee Moore Profile Photo
Randee Moore

Randee Moore is a mom of two, a copywriter and marketing strategist who’s obsessed with learning and personal growth. With a background in psychology, she’s passionate about exploring research based ways to parent with purpose and intention. She runs on caffeine, recharges in nature, and never leaves home without a good book.