Oct. 15, 2025

ADHA Moments Explained on Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan

ADHA Moments Explained on Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan
ADHA Moments Explained on Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan
Word of Mom Radio
ADHA Moments Explained on Ask Mom Parenting with Sue Donnellan

Sue Donnellan Shares Parenting Children with ADHD: How to Know When to Connect & When to Correct!

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Parenting Children with ADHD: How to Know When to Connect & When to Correct

Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like living in a constant guessing game:
Am I supporting the diagnosis… or enabling the behavior?
Do I hold the line… or hold space?
How do I discipline a child whose brain doesn’t respond to discipline the same way?

In this episode, we dig deep into the razor-thin line between connection and correction …and why both are essential if you want your child to build self-control, not shame.

You’ll learn how to recognize when your child’s brain is in dysregulation mode (and literally can’t hear you), versus when it’s time to teach accountability and follow-through.
We’ll cover:

  • How to read your child’s body and tone for signs their brain is “locked down” vs. “ready to learn.”
  • The My Lead First™ method for setting expectations in advance so correction doesn’t turn into combat.
  • The real reason typical punishments and consequences backfire with ADHD kids - and what actually builds discipline.
  • Simple sensory resets that reopen the brain for listening, reasoning, and self-regulation.
  • How to balance compassion with accountability - so you’re not excusing bad behavior, but you’re also not crushing your child’s confidence.

This episode is for every parent torn between empathy and exhaustion, wondering if their child “can’t” or just “won’t.” You’ll walk away knowing when to lead with connection… and when to lead with correction - without guilt, confusion, or chaos.

Connect with Sue at AskMomParenting.com and on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, Amazon and YouTube.

🔗 Links & Resources:
· Free Facebook Group: Yell-Free Parenting for Exhausted Moms
· Sue’s Book: Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a F^ck
· Want 1-on-1 coaching? Book here
· Get Sue’s Weekly Newsletter: Subscribe now

Thanks for listening! Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a mom who needs to hear it.

Please support UnsilencedVoices.org a global 501(c)3 nonprofit that empowers survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking.

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Be sure to connect with us and come tell us your story!

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WEBVTT

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She is prays, prayche is please, she is you. You're

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tuned in to Word of Mom Radio here on the

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Word of Mom Media Network.

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Hi, and welcome back to the Ask Mom Parenting podcast.

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Because parenting is everything. I'm Sue and with me is Randy,

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and this is your no bullshit, no filter, zero guilt

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parenting reboot. Whether you're knee deep in the tyler tantrums,

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navigating tween teen drama, or somewhere in between, you'll get

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at least one actionable tool today, one episode at a time.

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Today's episode is parenting children with ADHD. How to know

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when to connect and when to correct. This has been

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one of my most requested topics in my parenting workshops.

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Parents are really struggling with trying to figure out how

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to handle tricky behaviors associated with ADHD and other diagnosed disorders.

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As a bit of a disclaimer, I'm a parenting coach,

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so I'm not a therapist, and that means I don't

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diagnose conditions or provide clinical treatment. Therapy is designed to

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help process the past and heal wounds, and therapists have

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a very specific set of tools and evidence based interventions

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for children diagnosed with conditions like ADHD. My work is

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different and coaching tends to look more forward. So I'll

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help parents take a diagnosis, if there is one, and

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translate that into day to day strategies. How to set

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up routines, communicate expectations, restructure communication, all to be able

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to respond in that moment. So when a child has

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ADHD or any other diagnosis, the therapist will handle the

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clinical side while I help guide the parent on how

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to parent that child, turning the therapists recommendations into real life,

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workable habits at home. Overall, I like to stay squarely

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in my lane of empowering parents for the road ahead.

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What we're talking about today are strategies so that you

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can determine the difference between when your child's behavior needs

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a motional support to process those emotions, or when they

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need clear direction and structure to be held accountable, when

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to connect and when to correct, and how to figure

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out what your child needs from you in that moment. Okay,

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so real quick picture this. You're leaving a friend's house

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or an activity, and it's time to leave the pladate

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and your child suddenly refuses. They're shouting and hiding behind

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the couch, or they're throwing their shoes because they don't

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want to go. Other parents are watching and you can

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just feel your face getting hot. Is this just defiance

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or a classic ADHD moment where their brain wasn't ready

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for the transition. Stopping one activity and switching to another

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could feel like slamming on the emotional breaks at full speed.

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In an ADHD child, what looks like disrespect could actually

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be dysregulation, where their nervous system might be saying I

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can't stop yet. Or it could just be your child

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testing the line to see if you meant what you said.

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You're standing there embarrassed and you're wondering do I drag

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them out to prove that I mean business? Or do

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I crouch down and help them through the storm, knowing

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that it might take another ten minutes of every ounce

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of patients that I have left. How do I know

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its strategy to use in that moment. This example is repeatable,

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whether it's homework with tears willing up, where pencils flying

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and statements like it's too hard, I'm stupid, I hate

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this teacher, or bedtime meltdowns. Pick your moment and we

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all can relate.

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Yeah, I just wanted to point out one thing that

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I think most parents can relate to is what you

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said about reminding yourself that it's not necessarily defiance, it's

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about emotional regulation a lot of the time, and that

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their brains simply might not be ready for the transition.

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As a parent. That's like a huge aha moment for me.

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I have two kids. I do have one child that

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I'm like, does he have ADHD or not. I have

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a boy and a girl. My son's a little more

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on the hyper side, a little more energetic, so, you know,

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I don't know. So I've taken the sort of to

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just kind of wait to see if anyone at school

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says anything. I have a sister in law that's a

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school psychologist. You know, she in her interactions with him,

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you know, doesn't see necessarily anything. He's around a ton

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of educators who I know have had discussions with family

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members when they.

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Do think there's an issue.

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But even just having like a high energy kid, I

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can definitely see where some of this already is going

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to apply. And I think it's really going to even

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help me with my high energy son. And I definitely

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think there's a lot here already that parents today could

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just take away from So I'm definitely excited to hear

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more about this.

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Well, we remember we have talked about how boys are

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more textile and high energy, So that is something that

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because the dichotomy between boys and girls are so different

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when they're young. Girls are so quiet, they sit still.

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Boys are just built different and a lot of times

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just normal, healthy, happy behavior can seem like ADHD behavior.

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I know that with my kids, even just you know,

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fifteen years ago, I had one kid that was a

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little bit more high energy, a little bit more antsy,

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and you know, we just ended up giving him a

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little stress ball at school to kind of redirect. But

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there is a lot of confusion around boys and their

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high energy and what's regular normal behavior and what could

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be stimulated by some other reason. So it's you know,

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parents struggle for a variety of reasons with trying to

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determine what the behavior is, and they're struggling with what

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to do and how to handle it because you know,

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no one ever shows us how to parent a brain

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that processes differently. There's some reasons that come into play,

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and let's just go over a few to try to

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calibrate where you might be falling in your own life.

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It wasn't modeled for us. We all grew up. I

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think is all pretty universal that we grew up with

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parents that said because I said so, or my way

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or the highway, or don't talk back. That approach doesn't

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work with ADHD kids, and actually it doesn't work any kid.

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I know it didn't work for me, but especially ADHD brains.

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They don't respond to command and control type of parenting.

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You know, they need a collaboration, They need leadership upfront,

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leadership first, expectations that are made clear upfront. So the

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do as I say mentality is what got me yelling.

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And I know that it doesn't work because it didn't

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work for me with my mom, and it didn't work

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for me when I had my first kid. It took

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me a while to realize that kids are capable of

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understanding and cooperating with us when my communication is structured

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to actually land instead of be a lecture. So another

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reason why parents might struggle with determining whether this is

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ADHD or neurotypical behavior or what to do about it,

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is that they fear they might be too strict, especially

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with ADHD brains that are still trying to process. Parents

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worry that being firm will push their kids away, that

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their child will resent them or shut down, And the

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truth is strictness without collaboration first build discipline. It builds

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a rebellion. So instead of learning to think for themselves,

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kids will learn how to just outsmart the rules if

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we don't involve them first. We can also, on the

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flip side, be afraid of being too lenient, So there

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is the opposite problem where parents don't want to be pushovers.

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Y're afraid if they show too much empathy they'll be

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taken advantage of and their kids will walk all over them.

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The problem is leniency without leadership teaches kids that limits

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are optional and your words won't carry much weight. So overall,

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as parents today, I'm seeing in my workshops and with

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the parents that I work with in my practice that

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we're on missing the right tools. We've never really been

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taught exactly how to structure our communication so that we

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can parent more calmly, hold the boundaries, or decode what

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is really behind the behavior. Without these tools, every meltdown

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feels like a test that we're failing, when it's really

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just a skill gap that's waiting to be learned. Let's

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kind of zoom out and simplify this a little bit.

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Let's boil it down to a simple statement, and that

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statement is behavior is just another form of communication. Every behavior,

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even the ones that drive us crazy, is a form

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of communication from our kids. Especially with ADHD kids, behavior

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can be their language. When when words fall short, what

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looks like defiance might really be a kid saying I'm overwhelmed.

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He just doesn't have the words yet, you know. And

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what looks like laziness might actually be I don't know

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where to start, so I'm just gonna I'm not gonna

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start because I don't know where to start. It's all

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too overwhelming. And what looks like disrespect might be my

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brain is moving faster than my mouth, which is actually

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my problem after I've had too much coffee. So ADHD

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behaviors often get miss labeled because they look like attitude problems,

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when underneath, they're really just struggling with attention, impulse control,

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emotional regulation, and executive function things like planning, organizing, shifting

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between tasks, or controlling as those are all very difficult

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for ADHD kids to master. The challenge is when parents

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don't see the why behind the behavior of communication. It's

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easy to assume the child is being willful, so we

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tighten the reins, we raise our voices, or we double

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down undisciplined. But that often backed fires because instead of learning,

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kids feel misunderstood. Parents feel stuck between being too strict

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or too soft, and that cycle leads straight to frustration, burnout,

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and constant conflict in the home. So when to connect

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and when to correct? For parents with kids with ADHD

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or history of early trauma, including those that might be

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adopted or from foster backgrounds, one of the hardest decisions

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they face is when do I correct the behavior or

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when do I connect? Getting a misbehavior or disobedience from

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the child and I don't know whether to connect with

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his child or hold the line and keep the boundary.

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Let's start with a useful mindset shift before jumping in

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to fix or correct any behavior. Our job is first

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to observe. When you can pause long enough to read

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the situation and for what's really happening, what's driving the behavior,

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you stop reacting to the noise and start responding to

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the need. Once you can see what the behavior is

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trying to say, you'll know whether you should simply tune

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in and let that moment have space, or whether you

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should teach a new skill. Being an informed observer suddenly

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gives your parenting a lot more effectiveness. Remember again that

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our child's behavior is telling us something, but without words,

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and not all misbehavior means disobedience. Your child isn't trying

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to make your life harder. They're trying to tell you

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something they may not have the words for yet. First

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ask yourself what's driving this, and we'll get to all

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the specific ways that you can determine that in a minute.

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Yeah, I love what you're saying about changing the mindset

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in the mindset shift. I work a lot on my

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own mindset, and changing this mindset to all behavior is

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communication is so valuable. Also, moving away from the mindset

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that all misbehavior is disobedience can be a complete game changer.

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I know I'm in the middle of learning this myself.

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It's something I forget, but I'm always needing to remind

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myself and I'm trying to become consciously aware of that more.

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And it is a practice. But if you know it

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and can remember it and try to remind yourself of that,

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it really is helpful. I think at the end of

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the day, kids just want to please adults, and they

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really want to please their parents and their teachers.

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They really do.

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And so I think taking on this mindset shift really

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depersonalizes it for parents. I know for me, it's so

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easy to take things personally and assume things are being

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done to us as parents instead of just really simply

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realizing that it really is all about communication.

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As I love that depersonalization word because getting back to

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my original the mindset shift, the key mindset shift that

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I work with parents is to stop, pause, but observe,

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you know, and when we observe and then we know

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that we have the tools to react in which however,

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we decide that we've observed the behavior to be the

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root cause, like the root reason for this behavior. We

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now and throughout the rest of this podcast, you'll have

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the skills and the tools that you'll need to be

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able to go I'm observing, I see where this behavior

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is coming from, and now I know to do A

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or B. I'm going to be able to boil this

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down to really simple basic responses and determine what I

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have going on before me. But getting back to what

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you said earlier about the depersonalization of it. I remember

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when I was yelling all the time and I had

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to go back and I studied behavioral psychology and I

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really got back into books early on. One of my

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biggest takeaways for me anyway, because I kind of looked

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at these kids like he knows what he's doing. It

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was personal and it was like I got to show it.

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One of the biggest takeaways, the biggest a sentence that

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really turned the corner for me was a misbehaving child

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as a discouraged child. And that was so eye open

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for me, because again, that takes the personalization out of it.

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But when I saw my son misbehaving and looking for

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attention because he had triplet siblings, he was just four

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or five. He's trying to figure out his place. I

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reframed it, a misbehaving child is a discouraged child, and

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instead of getting mad, I was, I took a second

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and I was like, he needs a hug. And then

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you know, that turned into me spending a little bit

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more one on one time with him because his behavior

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was communicating something to me that he didn't have the

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words for, and he did not have the wisdom yet.

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For so That's why I think it's so important to

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teach parents that even with ADHD or any disorder, it

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doesn't matter the prior traumas the adopted children, the foster

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care children were dealing with sometimes heightened behaviors. But as

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a parent, we have to be teachers and to be

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able to take the moment and say, I'm observing and

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now arming these parents with the skills to be able

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to go, Okay, now I know how to respond, but

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first I have to observe. It is so powerful to

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help you understand with ADHD kids, we have to first

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lay some groundwork as to what are some of the

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basic differences between a neurotypical child and their responses and

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behavior and an ADHD or trauma impacted behavior. I think

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it's kind of important to set the tone level that

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playing field for a second. And so let's get into

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neurotypical children. They usually act out because they're testing boundaries

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and they're craving attention or they're pushing for independence. Their

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behavior kind of has a little bit of a logic

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behind it, even if it's inconvenient. When you correct with calm,

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consistent structure with a neurotypical child, they learn from it,

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and they tend to adjust fairly quickly. On the other hand,

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with ADHD or trauma impacted kids, often they know what

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they're supposed to do, but they just can't get there quickly.

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In the moment, their nervous system hijacks they're reasoning and

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they're flooded with an impulse or a fight or flight

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type of behavior or thought process, and correction in those

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moments just will not register. It just adds fuel in

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that moment. So keeping these basic differences in mind, here

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are some ideas of when to connect. So connecting means

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my child is showing signs of dysregulation. Their emotions are

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bigger than their ability to think in that moment, and

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this looks like meltdowns that go beyond age or logic.

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If your child is crying, yelling, panicking, shutting down, then

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they're just offline, so no logic or consequence will ever

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land while the brain is on fire. For ADHD or

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trauma based behaviors, connection means helping them feel safe, seen,

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and soothed before you teach or correct. You'll never be

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able to teach a new skill to a child who

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is in this loop. You know, you might use my

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lead first method by laying out expectations ahead of time.

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One of my favorite skills for teaching parents for almost

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any behavior that parenting in advance of that lead first mentality.

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Use my lead first method by laying out expectations ahead

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of time. Part of feeling safe for any child is

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knowing what's coming and what's expected of them. So predictability

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is a regulation tool. In my earlier example of when

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we have to leave the party, or we have to

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leave the event and the child is melting down and

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we don't know how to behave in that moment. We

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don't know whether we should get down on his level

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and take ten more minutes or whether we should hold

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the line and be accountable. What we can do with

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any child, whether it's ADHD behavior or neurotypical behavior, always

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planning in advance, always setting expectations when I come back in,

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when you see me come in after the parties ended,

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that it's going to be your sign that we're leaving.

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So knowing what to expect. So predictability, like I said,

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is a regulation tool. And those are all things we

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can do before we even drop the child off of

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the party. You can validate their feelings, you say, I

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can see that you're really frustrated, which is signaling a

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sympathy and an empathy and a safety vibe from you.

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You you can offer sensory grounding or transition time, so

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a hug, a walk, or a quiet space to just react.

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But they need to reset on their own. They can

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go have a quiet space, but again mentioning that upfront,

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or saying here's some of the tools we're going to

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use when you find yourself in that loop. Here's how

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we're going to redirect you. So then now they know

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what to expect. This is not letting kids and their

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behavior off the hook. It's getting them back online so

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that learning can happen. We aren't allowing misbehavior, We're simply

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delaying the correction until they're bringing as capable of self control.

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We have to decide through observation. Is this child offline?

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Are they really reacting in a more aggressive way. Then

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we need to connect and we need to take space,

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and we need to have those tools laid out up

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front with the child so they know what to expect.

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Now when to correct. You correct when your child appears

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regulated enough to listen and learn, once their nervous system

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is calm, you step in as the leader again. That's

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when you hold the boundaries, teach accountability and follow through

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on limits. For neurotypical kids, that might happen quickly. They

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can calm down, they can process and respond with remorse

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or reflection. But for ADHD kids you may need to

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kind of come back later, circle back after a snack

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or after some movement after they've had a moment to reset.

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The key is to teach when the brain is open,

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not when it's locked down.

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I love that teach when the brain is open, not

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locked down. For me, when I hear that, it definitely

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like resets how I think about everything. Again, I think

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it's easy to kind of personalize things as parents are

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frustrated in the moment, but really realizing that the brain

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is not open and as you mentioned, no matter what

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we're trying to convey, no rational thought is going to

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get through. I've noticed having to do this with my

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own kids, especially huge mouth bounds or tantrums, like you said,

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they're offline. I think that is just a great way

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to like sum it up. But the connection part you

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talked about too, I think is really huge, you know,

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just noticing with my own kids trying to take more

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time to connect and really validate their feelings. It can

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really help and really change the outcome of a situation

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to one that's like severe frustration and meltdowns to something

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more calm. One question I have for you is you're

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mentioning when to correct, when to connect, and not doing

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it when the brain is offline, waiting till that brain

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is open. But as parents, I think it can be,

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you know, kind of tough to know. So how can

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we know when our children are ready for correction?

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Great question? When do we know when to toe the line,

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when to hold the boundary, when to correct, and know

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how to know when they're ready? So you correct when

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your child's body and brain slows down and they show

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that they're showing signs of being back online, and the

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ways to tell that would be that their breathing has slowed,

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their tone of voice might soften, eye contact, and basic

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communication return. They can follow a short, simple direction like

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come sit with me or let's get some water. Those

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are the green lights that regulation has returned and teaching

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can actually stick. If your child's meltdown drags on for

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thirty to sixty minutes, they're not being manipulative. They're just

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flooded in that moment. Their nervous system is running the show.

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That's when you can shift from stop the behavior to

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help the body settle that when you're observing, if they're

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continuing offline for you know, twenty minutes, thirty minutes, that's

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the sign that dysregulation has kicked in. They need to

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have some intervention on helping their bodies settle. Here's what

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to do when it feels like it's just never ending.

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So keep your own body calm. Your tone, your breathing,

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and your posture are the biggest cues to their nervous

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system that you are not going to be upset and

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that you're going to take some moments to let them

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get back online. Say less, Use short, steady phrases like

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you're se I'm right here, we'll figure this out together.

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Talking too much just adds fuel to the moment. You

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can create a sensory space, reduce noise, lights and stimulation.

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Often a drink, a snack, or a physical grounding like

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a weighted blanket or a hand on the shoulder or

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rocking can be effective and coregulate first. Correct later once

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the wave passes. Circle back with structure, let's talk about

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what happened and what needs to happen next time, so

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there's always a moment to teach. I think that sometimes

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in my workshops there's confusion with parents. They think that

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it's one or the other. It's letting them off the hook,

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or it's just always drilling down and having to be accountable.

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There is space for both. That's why being the observer

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is the most important thing. We are teachers, we are trainers,

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and parenting needs training for each child, so that we

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because we're ideally our kids are adults in training. In

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this particular case, discerning the behaviors helps us decide and

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pick is here's the observation point, and then from there

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we've got A or B. Wh're's just really simplifying this.

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So for neurotypical kids that reset might only take a

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few minutes, but for ADHD trump affected children it might

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take much longer and often requires movement like walking, jumping, stretching,

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hydration or nutrition before their brain can even try to learn.

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A good rule of thumb is that if they can think,

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talk and take direction, you can teach. If they're crying, yelling,

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or frozen, you connect and regulate first, think of it

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this way. You're not giving in by waiting, You're waiting

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for access to the part of the brain that learns

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once it's back online. That's when you calmly, reinforce the boundary,

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revisit expectations, and teach the skill. It's not one or

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the other. We're not letting behavior go. We're letting it pass,

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and then we're holding the boundary and teaching the skill.

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Your idea is for what to do when no thounds

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feel never ending, I think is so important for busy

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parents today. Liza heard some things today that I'm even

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going to try to implement as well, because I feel

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like what you just said really helps give parents tools

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on how to help their kids. But also, you know,

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kind of feel in control of a situation that can

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feel really out of control, like we can always control ourselves,

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and you know, parents, we're all really busy, but it's

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really important just to I think, sit back, remind ourselves

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that we can take that fifteen or twenty minutes or

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so out of our day to do these things, and

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it'll shrinken our relationship with our kids, and you know,

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it's really going to help improve the situation. And as

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you mentioned earlier really build long lasting skills. So I

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love that you're giving tips for what to do when

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the meltdumb feels never ending, because I know as a

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parent it always feels never ending. So I think that's amazing.

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Well, here learns the practical checkpoints for parents. I'm really

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trying to boil this down so that you have something

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to really sink your teeth into when that stressful moment

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is upon you, when you're unsure which behavior to do,

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which reaction that your child needs. Start by asking yourself,

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is my child right now in a place to learn

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or to just feel safe? What's the behavior telling me

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as I observe it. Are they giving me the eye contact?

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Are they ready for that accountability moment? Are they ready

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for that correction? Or do they just need to feel

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safe to where we just take a moment, let them regulate,

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and then we come back to the accountability piece. If

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they're calm and aware, that's when you correct. If they're

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spiraling or defensive, you connect first. Remember connection does not

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replace correction, It preps the ground for it. So we're

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still going to be teaching lessons, We're just going to

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get there a little bit more slowly. With disregulated trauma

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or ADHD children, we're still going to get there because

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00:24:57.680 --> 00:24:59.720
we have to teach these kids these skills for their

453
00:24:59.720 --> 00:25:01.920
own life, for them to be able to learn how

454
00:25:01.920 --> 00:25:04.279
to calm themselves down as a skill set for life.

455
00:25:05.200 --> 00:25:08.640
And this matters because many parents burn out because they're

456
00:25:08.680 --> 00:25:12.559
stuck in correction mode twenty four to seven. They're constantly

457
00:25:12.599 --> 00:25:15.480
tightening the reins, but the behavior doesn't change because the

458
00:25:15.559 --> 00:25:18.599
child's brain is still not in receive mode yet. Let

459
00:25:18.599 --> 00:25:21.400
me give a couple other little quick examples. In a

460
00:25:21.440 --> 00:25:24.759
neurotypical child, say your ten year old rolls his eyes

461
00:25:24.839 --> 00:25:27.920
when you ask him to unload the dishwasher. You calmly

462
00:25:27.960 --> 00:25:30.759
remind them of the expectation and follow through with a

463
00:25:30.799 --> 00:25:34.759
consequence if needed. For an ADHD child, your ten year

464
00:25:34.759 --> 00:25:38.400
old bursts into tears, yells, storms off when asked to

465
00:25:38.440 --> 00:25:42.599
unload the dishwasher. You pause, You give them space, reconnect

466
00:25:42.640 --> 00:25:45.559
once they're calm, and then you talk about follow through

467
00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:49.559
and respect so they have control. After the fact, they

468
00:25:49.559 --> 00:25:53.319
can start to regulate themselves and start to learn how

469
00:25:53.359 --> 00:25:56.079
to behave. They don't get a free pass on this behavior.

470
00:25:56.359 --> 00:25:59.279
They get a moment to reset, but then we circle

471
00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:02.240
back and we we parent that moment. So I would

472
00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:04.759
like to give you guys some references for listeners that

473
00:26:04.799 --> 00:26:07.720
want to go deeper, and these are really very very helpful.

474
00:26:07.720 --> 00:26:11.000
For parents. There's a book from doctor Ross Green called

475
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:15.480
The Explosive Child, and it's excellent on understanding the lagging

476
00:26:15.559 --> 00:26:19.119
skills and how to respond to challenging behaviors with collaboration

477
00:26:19.440 --> 00:26:21.799
instead of punishment, which is what I always talk about.

478
00:26:22.119 --> 00:26:24.880
Kids are capable of collaborating with us and being brought

479
00:26:24.920 --> 00:26:28.000
into the process that works with my lead first and

480
00:26:28.039 --> 00:26:30.599
my parent upfront methodology, which is they know what to

481
00:26:30.680 --> 00:26:34.079
expect and that gives them safety. There's another really great

482
00:26:34.119 --> 00:26:38.079
book called Brain Body Parenting by doctor Mona Delahook. It

483
00:26:38.160 --> 00:26:42.400
offers a brilliant breakdown on how regulation drives behavior and

484
00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:47.680
why connection must come before correction. In my practice, I've

485
00:26:47.680 --> 00:26:50.559
seen remarkable results. And I don't get money from these

486
00:26:50.559 --> 00:26:54.039
people or what about. Probably a handful of clients tell

487
00:26:54.160 --> 00:26:57.400
me that they had tremendous success with a program called

488
00:26:57.440 --> 00:27:02.240
brain Balance, and their French brain Balance focuses on how

489
00:27:02.279 --> 00:27:06.160
to rewrite the brain and how the brain communicates. It's

490
00:27:06.200 --> 00:27:08.920
not just it's not a therapy and a medication. I mean,

491
00:27:09.119 --> 00:27:11.799
it is a therapy, but they don't work with medication.

492
00:27:11.920 --> 00:27:16.319
It's a structured program that blends movement learning and nutrition

493
00:27:16.880 --> 00:27:19.720
to help kids regulate better and think more clearly. For

494
00:27:19.759 --> 00:27:22.960
some families, it's been a helpful bridge between understanding why

495
00:27:23.000 --> 00:27:26.519
their child struggles and how to strengthen the brain systems

496
00:27:26.559 --> 00:27:29.519
behind it. Like I said, it's available nationally. One of

497
00:27:29.559 --> 00:27:32.799
my clients told me about how her daughter has just

498
00:27:32.920 --> 00:27:37.440
completely turned around. She's now focusing, she's managing tasks better

499
00:27:37.519 --> 00:27:41.039
and commands. One of the little, tiny takeaway tips that

500
00:27:41.079 --> 00:27:43.480
they both learned was that when she asks her daughter

501
00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:47.279
to do three chores, the daughter will not remember she

502
00:27:47.319 --> 00:27:49.839
cannot process it, but when she writes it down on

503
00:27:49.880 --> 00:27:51.920
a sticky note, they all get done without a problem.

504
00:27:51.960 --> 00:27:55.240
So it's little tips like that, but they have a

505
00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:58.279
lot of science backed behind what they do. And the

506
00:27:58.279 --> 00:27:59.960
thing that I like about it is that it's medication

507
00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:03.880
free and it gives kids the skill sets for them

508
00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:06.160
to manage their own behavior in the future. So it's

509
00:28:06.200 --> 00:28:10.319
not just us parenting. But again, I really don't like

510
00:28:11.279 --> 00:28:14.400
foregoing any of the accountability pieces in our parenting. We

511
00:28:14.440 --> 00:28:15.880
still need to be able to do that. We still

512
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:18.519
need to be able to be parents, but we also

513
00:28:18.640 --> 00:28:20.440
have to give that empathy to the kids that might

514
00:28:20.480 --> 00:28:22.720
need a little bit more time to process. So in

515
00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:25.599
wrapping up, this isn't about fixing your child, okay, it's

516
00:28:25.640 --> 00:28:28.680
about helping them channel the best of who they already are.

517
00:28:29.079 --> 00:28:32.119
Think about Michael Phelps. He was diagnosed with ADHD as

518
00:28:32.160 --> 00:28:34.240
a kid and he could not says still or focus

519
00:28:34.279 --> 00:28:37.720
in class. His mom introduced structure and swimming to him

520
00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:40.599
as an outlet, and he turned that restlessness into a

521
00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:45.039
relentless drive, eventually becoming the most decorated Olympyan swimmer in history.

522
00:28:45.279 --> 00:28:50.759
So it's not connect or correct, it's connect then correct

523
00:28:50.839 --> 00:28:54.799
with ADHD kids, every single child, whether they have ADHD

524
00:28:55.279 --> 00:28:58.759
or trauma affected, or are even neurotypical, they all need

525
00:28:58.799 --> 00:29:02.960
to be parented, taught, guided, and held accountable. We don't

526
00:29:03.000 --> 00:29:05.799
lower the bar for kids who struggle, We just adjust

527
00:29:05.880 --> 00:29:08.440
the approach so they can reach it. Our goal is

528
00:29:08.519 --> 00:29:11.480
parents is the same for every child to develop the

529
00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:16.400
self control, resilience and confidence that turn challenges into strength.

530
00:29:16.519 --> 00:29:20.160
All kids need both connection and correction. The difference with

531
00:29:20.200 --> 00:29:23.680
ADHD or trauma affected kids is just the timing. Their

532
00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:26.359
brains take longer to come back online, so we don't

533
00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.440
skip the accountability piece. We just wait until it can land.

534
00:29:29.920 --> 00:29:34.160
That's what connection and correction together do. One build safety,

535
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:37.480
the other builds skills, and when both are in play,

536
00:29:38.000 --> 00:29:40.480
you can raise a child who can handle life, not

537
00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:43.519
just react to it. Thank you so much for listening today,

538
00:29:43.759 --> 00:29:46.720
and if you need any specialized help or tailored help,

539
00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:49.880
I'm available. We do workshops, I'm available for one on

540
00:29:49.880 --> 00:29:52.759
one coaching. My book Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a

541
00:29:52.799 --> 00:29:55.160
Fuck is on Amazon and I also have a private

542
00:29:55.200 --> 00:29:59.000
Facebook group called Yell Free Parenting for Exhausted Moms. Feel

543
00:29:59.000 --> 00:30:01.960
free to connect with me join follow me on Instagram

544
00:30:01.960 --> 00:30:04.599
at ESMM parenting. I'm here for you guys, and I

545
00:30:04.599 --> 00:30:06.519
would love to help. Thanks and happy parenting.

546
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:11.960
She is sure, she is sure, she is strong, she

547
00:30:12.039 --> 00:30:16.680
is strong, she is true, she is true. She is Braise,

548
00:30:16.960 --> 00:30:20.680
bra she is bold, she is you, is you, she

549
00:30:20.839 --> 00:30:24.519
is she is sure, she is sure, she is strong,

550
00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:29.400
is strong, she is true, is true, she is Braise,

551
00:30:30.119 --> 00:30:33.400
she is bold, she she is you, is you, she

552
00:30:33.519 --> 00:30:37.279
is you. She sure of herself. Yes, she takes care

553
00:30:37.319 --> 00:30:40.839
of his powerful and strong. Yes, she knows who she is,

554
00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:45.519
has integrity, woman, strong and true. You know her by name.

555
00:30:45.720 --> 00:30:49.720
See this woman is you. She is sure, she is strong,

556
00:30:49.960 --> 00:30:55.160
is strong, she is true, is true, she is braise, brave,

557
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:57.440
she is bol she is you.

558
00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:00.960
She is you, she is you, she.

559
00:30:59.519 --> 00:31:03.400
Is she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she

560
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:09.480
is true, is true, she is brave, she is she,

561
00:31:09.480 --> 00:31:14.200
she is you, she is she is adds value and hope.

562
00:31:14.480 --> 00:31:17.279
Has proved to be brave. See it's never too late,

563
00:31:17.640 --> 00:31:21.680
never time to behave reaching for dreams doesn't matter. The

564
00:31:21.799 --> 00:31:26.119
age believes in herself, unleash from her cage. She is sure,

565
00:31:26.240 --> 00:31:30.240
she is sure, she is strong, is strong, she is true, True,

566
00:31:31.880 --> 00:31:35.680
she is brave, brave, she is she is you.

567
00:31:35.960 --> 00:31:36.839
She is she

568
00:31:38.640 --> 00:31:41.480
Is sure, she is she is strong, she is strong,

569
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:46.279
she is true, is true, she is brave, is brave,

570
00:31:46.400 --> 00:31:48.720
she is she is you.
Sue Donnellan Profile Photo

As a mother who has balanced raising four kids (including triplets) with a full-time business and a husband who deployed to combat five times, I fully understand the demands on parents to successfully manage a busy family life. The steep learning curve of going from one to four children almost instantly kickstarted my methods for nurturing four unique individuals. My no-nonsense, judgement-free parenting style created an environment of freedom, flexibility and self-initiated learning for our kids. After twenty years in the trenches, parenting four happy, prosperous people, there is much to share that will make the entire process stress-free, effective and fun.

Randee Moore Profile Photo

Randee Moore is a mom of two, a copywriter and marketing strategist who’s obsessed with learning and personal growth. With a background in psychology, she’s passionate about exploring research based ways to parent with purpose and intention. She runs on caffeine, recharges in nature, and never leaves home without a good book.